Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings
by Kato Shingetsu
Summary: Ending at Chapter 36 folks. Thanks for three years of writing! EXTRA SPECIAL Afterthoughts!
1. the stupid prolouge

Title: Anime Characters do The Lord of the Rings

Written/directed by: Kato Shingetsu

Rated: pg 13 for battle sequences, scary moments, foul language, drug use- wait......really?.....oh ok sorry people there isn't any drug use in this fanfiction.......yet.

Summary: Characters from Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho ( Polterguise Report),

( Bishojo Senshi) Sailor Moon, .hack, Ayashi No Ceres/ Ceres Celestial Legend, Fruits Basket/ Furuba, and Rurouni Kenshin do The Lord of the Rings. Characters from Final Fantasy 7 and Kingdom Hearts also make appearences in this fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho ( Polterguise Report), (Bishojo Senshi) Sailor Moon, .hack, Ayashi No Ceres/ Ceres Celestial Legend, Fruits Baskets/ Furuba, Rurouni Kenshin, The Lord of the Rings, Final Fantsy 7 or Kingdom Hearts........starts to sob

Cast List:

Frodo: Tsukasa from .hackSIGN

Merry: Rini ( Chibi-usa) from Sailor Moon

Pippin: Shippo from Inuyasha

Sam: Karou Kamyia from Rurouni Kenshin

Aragorn: Inuyasha from Inuyasha

Boromir: Bear from .hackSIGN

Legolas: Kagome from Inuyasha

Gimli: Kuwabara from Yu Yu Hakusho

Gandalf: Yoko Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho

Saurman: Queen Beryl from Sailor Moon

Sauron: Sesshomaru from Inuyasha

Arwen: Kikyo from Inuyasha

Galadriel: Aerith from Final Fantasy 7/ Kingdom Hearts

Celeborn: Mirkou from Inuyasha

Eowen: Sango from Inuyasha

Eomer: Yusuke from Yu Yu Hakusho

Theodin ( King): Koenma ( adult version) from Yu Yu Hakusho

Grima Wormtounge: Jaken from Inuyasha

Faramir: Koga from Inuyasha

Gollum/ Smeagol: Aki (Mikage) from Ayashi no Ceres/ Ceres Celestial Legend

Eldron: Kenshin Himura from Rurouni Kenshin

Bilbo: Elk from the .hack video game series

Treebeard: Sanoske Sagara from Rurouni Kenshin

Denethor: Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho

Nazgul: Ayame Sohma, Tohru Honda, Saki Hanajima, Shigure Sohma, Kyo Sohma, Momiji Sohma, Kagura Sohma, Arisa Uotani, and Akito Sohma from Fruits Baskets/ Furuba. p.s- guess who's the witch king?

And to do it for you, 9 parts were given to Inuyasha characters, 5 to Yu Yu Hakusho, 2 to Sailor Moon, 3 to .hack, 1 to Ceres Celestial Legend, 3 to Rurouni Kenshin and 9 to Fruits Baskets.

I hope you enjoy my parody fanfiction

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Aerith's voice over

' The world is changing, I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth...I smell it in the air'

' DIE CETRA DESCENDANT!'

' SEPHIROTH GET OFF THE ING STAGE MAN!'

' FINE!' some foot steps are heard followed by a door slamming shut.

' Thank you...now then. Once upon a time, in the Land of Middle Earth; Three rings were made for the elven kings....that would be me, Kenshin.....and some random. Seven were made to the dwarves, minors who could not get an I.D. And nine for the humans........stupid humans'

The Director makes a "come on" signal.

' Oh FINE! LONG STORY SHORT SESSHOMARU WANTS HIS RING BACK AND THE FATE OF THE WORLD BELONGS TO THE HOB-!!!'

Sephiroth comes back on stage_ ' I WANT TO BE SAURON'_

The Authoress of the New Moon gets really really pissed off_ ' BOTH OF YOU GET OFF THE STAGE RIGHT NOW!!!'_

===================================================

Prolouge story: Take Two

__

Aerith begins to do her voice over again: The screen is black, indicating a monologue.

" The world has changed. I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the ai-"

Sephiroth runs on stage and shouts again: _" DIE!"_

" SEPHIROTH GET OF THE STAGE NOW!! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING"

" FINE" some foot steps are heard followed by door slamming. _' This is a gay production any way'_

' What'd you say!'

" AHEM!....three rings were made for the-"

" Hey what's in this room?"

" CLOUD GET OUT OF HERE I'M TRYING TO DO A MONOLOGUE!"

"....What's a mo-no-log?"

" grrr GET OUT!"

The door slams shut again and Aerith turns on the light revealing that her monologue is being done in the janitor's closet of the studio.

" Here's what you need to know" Aerith said, " 1 ring, 1 hobbit,...and a lot of chapters. Can I go now?"

" Yes" The Authoress of the New Moon said

" Good" Aerith said and stomped off the stage, grumbling something about idiots and there idiocy.

===================================================


	2. The Shindig to end all shindigs

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho ( Polterguise Report), (Bishojo Senshi) Sailor Moon, .hack, Ayashi No Ceres/ Ceres Celestial Legend, Fruits Baskets/ Furuba, Rurouni Kenshin, The Lord of the Rings, Final Fantsy 7 or Kingdom Hearts. I OWN THE FIREWORKS IN THIS CHAPTER BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

oh yeah p.s- I will alternate genders with Tsukasa with different chapters. In this one Tsukasa is male, next Tsukasa is female, etc, etc.

===================================================

Chapter one: The Shindig to end ALL Shindigs

===================================================

__

Tsukasa was sitting under a tree, reading a book.

" So the cow..." Tsukasa said " jumped over the moon! It makes perfect sense!!!"

Just then, Tsukasa hear someone singing a song:

machi no hitogomi kata ga butsukatte hitoribocchi

hatenai sougen kaze ga BYUNBYUN to hitoribocchi

Yoko Kurama was riding on a horse and cart, wearing a grey version of his costume. ( Because he's Gandalf the Grey).

Tsukasa stood up with an excited look on his face and ran towards the cart.

" Your late" Tsukasa said when he reached the cart.

" I'm not late, your just early" Yoko said " Plus a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives when he means to....I still don't get what that means"

After an awkward moment of three seconds, the two started to laugh.

" It's so good to see you again!" Tsukasa said and attempted to jump into the cart. But Tsukasa tripped and hit his head on the seat ledge.

' Baka ningen...' Yoko thought

Tsukasa got into the cart and rubbed his head.

" You didn't think I'd miss your uncles birthday did you?" Yoko said

" I have an uncle?" Tsukasa said

" Yes Tsukasa-kun you have an uncle"...

The two began to ride into Mac An- whoops I meant the Shire.

" What news of the outside world. Tell me everything, even though I hate it and I prefer _The World_" Tsukasa said, eager to hear everything about the outside world even though he preferred _The World_

Ahh _The World. _The largest online game ever created. Played by over 20 milli-

" GET ON WITH IT"

" YEAH GET ON WITH IT!"

OK SORRY!

" Your too curious for a hobbit, that's weird" Yoko said

All of the villagers ( Shi-Towner's...get it?!) looked as they saw the two in the cart.

' Oh no it's Yoko Kurama!'

' He's come to steal stuff'

Chaos, ensues as everyone hid from the fox youkai.

" -.-....oh yeah erm, nobody knows about halflings so it's all good" Yoko said

Tsukasa looked in the back of the cart. There were tons of fireworks, including an m-80 shaped like a dragon ( courtesy of the Authoress of the new moon)

As the two rode into the countryside, little halflings were running towards the cart.

' Fire works Yoko-sama!'

Yoko was about to light the fireworks. " Wait" he said " do I kill the halflings or light the fireworks?"

" Ya light em" the Authoress of the new moon said.

So, Yoko lit the fireworks, but the smell of the smoke frightened the horse. The horse rode off, leaving the wave master and the fox demon to a mob of paranoid children.

' Firewoooooooooorks' the little children said in unison.

" Tsukasa, If you will? " Yoko said

Tsukasa nodded and summoned his "guardian". While the children were distracted with the guardian, Tsukasa and Yoko ran off.

" I'm glad -gasp- that you back" Tsukasa said and jumped into a bush.

" Ditto" Yoko said and continued to run.

Yoko got to Elk's hobbit hole and oddly, smoke was coming out from under the door.

" What the?" The Authoress of the New Moon said confused, checking the script.

Yoko knocked on the door and he heard a voice from inside:

" Oh Shnaps! It's the Crimson Knights! The operation has to close...er..."

The person then shouted to the door " No thank you, no visitors, no well wishers or people related allowed!!"

" What about very old friends?" Yoko asked

" erm..." Elk thought about it for a moment and finally said " NO!"

" -.- Ok...What about somebody who wants to buy Aromatic Grass?" Yoko said

" Um....ok!" Elk said in his trademark style of voice.

Elk opened the door slowly "..Yoko-sama?"

" Elk the wavemaster" Yoko said smiling

" Oh shnaps you've come to steal my stuff...wait...your playing as Gandalf the Grey, right?"

" Yes Elk" Yoko responded.

" YAY! " Elk smiled and hugged Yoko

" Get off of me...oh right, Happy Birthday Elk" Yoko said

Elk then opened the door to his humble hobbit home " Come in!" Elk said

Elk shows Yoko into his house

" Would you like some tea..or perhaps sake?" Elk said

" Just tea thank you"

Elk disappeared into another room and Yoko banged his head on the chandelier, the ceiling and the frame of the door.

" . oooorooo"

While Elk babbled on and on about something, Yoko saw a map of Mirkwood on the table and pocketed it. Elk then looks into the living room and saw nobody was there.

" I'll just have tea." Yoko said appearing behind Elk

" O.O!! AHHH" Elk screamed but then turned around " Oh ok. You don't mind if I eat?"

" Knock yourself out" Yoko said

Suddenly, there was a pounding noise on the door...as if somebody was pOuNdInG oN tHe DoOr!!!!!

' ELK OPEN UP!'

" Ah it's Mia!" Elk said " I gotta get away from The Shire! I wanna go back to Mirkwood!!"

" I know how that goes" Yoko said " So are you going along with your plans?"

" Yep yep!" Elk said

" Tsukasa expects you are leaving" Yoko said

"...Who's Tsukasa?" Elk said

" The wavemaster whose been living with you for about ten years" Yoko said answered

"...wha....OH ..yeah" Elk said remembering Tsukasa " He'll be alright.....but Tsukasa has that prone-to-deadly-accidents-problem. I had to use 30,000 resurrects on him last week"

" Tru..." Yoko said while sipping his tea

Later, Yoko and Elk were elsewhere. The two were smoking aromatic grass.

" Yoko mi amigo" Elk said " This I'll be a night to remember......wow......have you ever noticed fingers...I mean look at em!"

Yoko rolled his eyes at Elk.

===================================================

Translation to the song:

In a crowd on a city street, shoulders bumping, I'm alone

In an endless prairie, wind blowing hard, I'm alone

( These are the first two lines to the opening song on Yu Yu Hakusho)


	3. The M80 incident

Disclaimer: crying You people just looooove to make fun of me all the time with your copyright laws and your briefcases! True I don't own the anime you see in this fanfiction, but if it wasn't for consumers like meeee, you wouldn't have made them!

_' Kato......stop scaring the readers'_

_'Fine"_

Tonight's episode is brought to you buy: Hamster cream, buy some radioactive cream for your hamster today- endorsed by Hamtaro.

In case you are wondering why, I put Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings under Inuyasha because majority rules. Nine people from Inuyasha are characters. I was going to put it under Anime Crossovers, but nobody ever goes in there.

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Chapter Two- The M-80 incident

===================================================

There was a huge explosion, indicating that Elk's birthday party had begun. As the music played, Tsukasa led the Macarena while Elk walked around and talked to family members.

" I refuse to dance" Yoko said after glancing at the script

The Authoress of the New Moon groaned " This is what I get for casting at 2:00 am!!"

Later, while Elk was telling a story, Rini and Shippo snuck over to the fireworks cart. Shippo helped Rini into the cart and she pulled out a sparkler.

" No not that the M-80!!" Shippo said

Rini pulled out the glorious M-80 and Shippo's eyes grew wide. The two ran into a near-by tent which acted as there headquarters.

As Rini stuck the M-80 into the ground, Shippo powered up his Foxfire attack and lit the M-80.

" Done" Shippo said

" Wait" Rini said " your supposed to stick it into the ground"

" No you are" Shippo said

The fuse went into the M-80

" MEEP!" Rini and Shippo held onto each other. The M-80 was motionless for five seconds and the two gave out a sigh.

Outside however-

Yoko was looking for the finishing firework. The M-80

" Where did I put that M-80?" Yoko said to himself " If I was an M-80, where would I be?"

_'KAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!'_

There were two high-pitched screams ( Rini and Shippo) coming from the demolished tent as the M-80 soared into the air.

" -.- that's where" Yoko grumbled to himself

All of the Shi-Towner's ran for cover from the flying, flaming M-80 turned dragon. The M-80 flew out into the distance and died out, creating a sonic boom. Everybody was temporally deaf.

" That was good" Shippo said to Rini, his face covered with soot.

" What!" Rini responded, now deaf, " I can't hear you!!"

Yoko saw the two and grabbed both of them by there ears.

" Hi Rini, Shippo. I got a tip for you. When you steal items, don't get caught!" Yoko said dully

After two seconds, Shippo and Rini both blinked and shouted " SPEAK UP!"

===================================================

After thirty minutes, the sonic boom's effect wore off and Elk stood ontop of a tree stump.

" My dear Wave masters and Heavybladers. Long arms and heavy axes. Twinbladers, archers, hackers, System administrators and kitsune!"

As peoples occupation was shouted, the group cheered back at Elk.

" Today is my bar mitzvah" Elk shouted triumphantly.

" Dude!" The Authoress of the new moon said " That's not in the script"

" But Bar Mitzvah sounds better!" Elk said

"....Good point" The Authoress said after three seconds of thought

The crowd shouted ' Mozzle Tov!', congratulating Elk's coming into manhood.

" Now let me begin by saying that: You guys SUCK!" Elk said but then added " Except Tsukasa and Yoko"

The crowd then gave Tsukasa and Yoko the death glare of death for no reason.

" I'm leaving Shi-Town!" Elk said " Peace out Milkshakes!"

Elk then vanished in front of everybody and the crowd gasped in shock.

' Nani!?" Yoko thought, not expecting Elk to vanish, but to receive a beating from all of the people he had insulted.

As everyone searched for Elk at the party, the gate to Elk's house opened and closed. There was a snickering noise in the wind, followed by Elk's hobbit doorknob being jiggled. The door was locked.

' Dammit!'

There was then a small pit-pat noise as the window to Elk's hobbit kitchen window opened. Whatever it was, it got in.....ok people it was Elk and he just broke into his own house via kitchen window.

Elk laughed out loud and took off what made him disappear. It was The Ring......no, no not the crappy American Re-make. The Ring, was indeed a gold band, quite simple and quite pretty in appearance.

As Elk walked into his living room to get his suitcase, a voice shouted

' That's far enough!"

" Huh?" Elk said looking around

The voice came from behind a chair. The chair then swiveled around to reveal non other then Yoko Kurama. ( BUM BUM BA DA!!!!)

" Please don't do that again" Yoko said to the camera man.

" How did you get here before me?" Elk asked

" There will be time to explain that later" Yoko said and stood from the chair, and banged his head on the ceiling.

" OWW!" Yoko rubbed his head " Who built this crummy house?"

" Dunno" Elk said while shrugging his shoulders.

" Ahem...anyway" Yoko said " How come you didn't tell me your special ability was invisibility?"

" It was my ring" Elk said and whipped out his gold ring.

" I think you should leave the ring here" Yoko said

" And I should listen to a 300 year old fox theft..WHY?!" Elk said

" Because" Yoko said " I'm 300 years old"

" Oh yeah well, I'm keeping it!" Elk said " And you'll have to fight me to get it!"

Yoko gave Elk a dull look and after five seconds of a "fight", Yoko got the ring from Elk, who was begging for mercy ( Because that's the fight-game they were playing....mercy)

" Now then" Yoko said " Go and hide in Rivendell until chapter nine, ok?"

" Hai!" Elk said and then walked outside, being followed by Yoko. " I thought up of an ending for my book"

" Really what?" Yoko asked

" Ask not what your country can do for you" Elk said happily " Ask what YOU can do for your country"

" ooook" Yoko said dully " Good bye Elk"

" Good bye..Yoko-sama" Elk said and began to walk off into the distance, singing the .hackSIGN song.

" Until you get arrested for trespassing" Yoko said to himself and tossed the ring on the ground.

===================================================

Hope you enjoyed chapter two!

P.S- If you are offended by anything written in this chapter (e.x- the hamtaro joke, the bar mitzah deal or at a lesser extent, the refference to the Ring, please know that no offence was to be made)


	4. Tsukasa's first near death experience

Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to the Japanimations featured in this pardoy of The Lord of the Rings ( also something I do not own the copyrights to).  
  
This chapter is brought to you by: Prarrie Dogs INC. Because Prarrie Dogs should not be discriminated because they live underground.  
  
RIGHT ON! PRARRIE DOGS UNITE!!  
  
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Chapter Three: Tsukasa's first near death experience  
  
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As Yoko was smoking aromatic grass and mumbling something about 'riddles in the dark', Tsukasa ran in and found the ring on the ground.  
  
" Elk is gone..." Tsukasa said sadly " I wanted to go with him!!"  
  
" Yeah" Yoko said " But listen I have to leave. Don't play with the ring alright. Why do you go see a movie or something?"  
  
" Can I take my laser pointer with?" Tsukasa asked  
  
" What do I care" Yoko said while leaving  
  
Yoko left Tsukasa and went to Minas Tirith, which was located 5 meters to the left of the Shire.  
  
" How convenient" Yoko said to himself and then went to the information desk " I'd like to check out ' The Diary of Isludir'  
  
" Can I see your library card?" The Librarian asked  
  
".......D'OH!"  
  
And so two weeks later, Yoko was still standing there, asleep and waiting for his card.  
  
" Hey! WAKE UP!" The Librarian shouted " Here's your card!"  
  
" huh?" Yoko woke up " oh...that was a long wait"  
  
" You know you could of watched the tape version of it here" The Librarian said  
  
" -.-....I will spare you life this time" Yoko said dully after five seconds. He then went to go and find the tape version.  
  
And Yoko did. Here's what was on the tape-  
  
THE ACCOUNT OF ISILDUR  
Octember, 79, 2012 ( Final Entry)   
  
Inu-Isildur appeared on the screen, grinning  
  
_" Hi everyone! I'm Inu-Isildur, High King of Gondor. And this (he pulls out The One Ring) Is the One Ring, which I took from Sesshomaru after I cut off his arm. My sons will follow in my blood line. And now I am going on a trip in which I will take The One Ring. PEACE OUT MILKSHAKES!"_  
  
" Well that didn't help" Yoko said  
  
====================================================  
  
Back to Tsukasa and Karou, who were at the local pub.  
  
Tsukasa sang "_99 bottle of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!"_  
  
Karou joined in _" -you take one down, pass it around"_  
  
Tsukasa and Karou both blurted out _" WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL!!"_  
  
After singing the song twice, Karou and Tsukasa went to there homes.  
  
Tsukasa walked into the dark living room, and was happy as a clam:  
  
" Life rules!" Tsukasa exclaimed " I would sure hate to leave my humble hobbit home"  
  
Just then, Yoko grabbed Tsukasa from behind. Yoko said in one breath:  
  
" Heybakahobbitdoyouhavetheringdontputitonitsevilanditusedtobelongto Sesshomaruwhoisgoingtocomeforyouandslaughteryou"  
  
Tsukasa, frightened of the screaming Youkai and of what he heard, had a heart attack.  
  
_- On Screen-_  
  
Technical Difficulties: Please Standby  
  
_- And were back-_  
  
Some people were leaning over Tsukasa  
  
" CLEAR!" One shouted  
  
The on set doctors were using a fibulator on Tsukasa, who was brought back to life. The doctors left and Tsukasa stood up.  
  
" I'm ok" Tsukasa groaned  
  
" Greeeat" Yoko said " Ok Tsukasa. The Ring Elk left you is owned by Sesshomaru. I'll prove it"  
  
Yoko took the ring and threw it into the fire, he then grabbed it with some fire tongs.  
  
" Put out your hand" Yoko said  
  
Tsukasa did just that ( man is he trustworthy) and the two began to see a poem:  
  
_Three Rings for the Cetra, the Samurai and the stand-in under the sky.  
  
Seven for the dwarves that look like Kuwabaka.  
  
Nine for the humans.....stupid humans.  
  
One for the Youkai on his fluffy throne. In the land of Mordor were Fluffy  
lives.  
  
To whoever gets this ring....your screwed  
  
Love and Peace milkshakes, Sesshomaru ©_  
  
" How pretty" Tsukasa said in awe after reading the poem.  
  
" Focus!" Yoko said " Tsukasa, you have to leave Mac Anu"  
  
" Shi-Town" Tsukasa corrected  
  
" Whatever!" Yoko said  
  
" But where will I go?" Tsukasa asked " Carmina Gadelica?"  
  
" Bree" Yoko corrected  
  
" WHATEVER!" Tsukasa said  
  
Outside of the window the two were standing near, there was a giggle.  
  
" Get down!" Yoko said  
  
Tsukasa ducks and Yoko summoned the death tree. Yoko bashed someone in the head and dragged him in.  
  
He was actually a she. It was Karou and Yoko made the tree disappear.  
  
" What in the seven hells are you doing here?!" Yoko said  
  
" Lookin' for Kenshin-dono!" Karou said while giggling " MEGUMI ISN'T GETTING HIM!!"  
  
" --..Karou, you must go with Tsukasa to Carmina Gadelica" Yoko said  
  
" Bree" Tsukasa and Karou corrected  
  
" Whatever!" Yoko said " Now Go!"  
  
And so, Tsukasa and Karou began there journey....and forgot to take shoes  
  
====================================================  
  
Next chapter- a short cut to leeks!


	5. A short cut to leeks

Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, being of sound mind and the ability to speak, to hear by state that I do not own the Japanese animations you see in this parody fan fiction. I, Kato Shingetsu, also am stating in this disclaimer that I do not own J.R.R Tolkien's: The Lord of the Rings.

I hope you are enjoying this parody fan fiction.

Chapter Four: A shortcut to leeks

As Tsukasa and Karou went into a random field to hide, Yoko went to Izu.....I MEAN ISENGUARD DAMMIT!!

_' Stupid writer...'_ Yoko commented to himself.

At Isenguard, Queen Beryl slowly ascended down the steps. She was wearing white robes and held a staff in her hand.

_" Smoke rises from Mt.Doom and Yoko, you ride to Izuguard to seek my ad-"_

_At this point, Queen Beryl tripped on her long white robes because she was paying more attention to what she was saying rather then where she was walking._

_' Stupid human' _Yoko commented to himself.

Beryl stood up, dusted herself off and regained composure. " Yoko-san!!" she said gleefully.

" Beryl-'sensei'" Yoko said while making finger quotes ( notice the nifty finger quotes of niftyness....I SAID NOTICE THEM!!!! XP)

So the two had made there way to a study hall talking about everything except the ring.......I already told you it's not the crummy American re-make!!

" Sesshomaru's power is rising" Beryl said " Soon he will get a replacement arm and will get his ring back. Then nothing will stop him from taking over all of Middle Earth."

" How do you know all of this" Yoko asked

" I have scene it" Beryl said " _I _have a palentier"

Beryl took a palentier out of a small box that was on her table.

" I get it now" Yoko said " You've gone evil!!"

" Yep!" Beryl answered " We all know the ningens will die...and that idiot halfling will as well"

" I won't let you" Yoko said. He reaches in his hair for the death plant seed.....

But because this is the _Lord of the Rings _parody and not _Yu Yu Hakusho_, um....he got a staff instead.

Beryl took out a staff as well and-

WE INTERUPT THIS FANFICTION FOR A VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

Muse and trusted friend of Kato Shingetsu, Benji the prarrie dog is pushed in front of the camera.

" Uh......" Benji said while scratching his head "...I like tacos!! .!!"

THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS. WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THE FANFICTION!!

Yoko is sceen ontop of the Orthanc tower.

" I am seriously going to kill Kato Shingetsu" Yoko said " And her stupid prarrie dog friend"

---------------------------------Meanwhile---------------------------------

Karou is walking alone in a corn field,..she thought she had lost Tsukasa.

" Tsukasa-san!?" Karou called out " TSUKASA!! WHERE ARE YOU!!?"

Karou runs out of the corn field only to see Tsukasa in line at a riceball stand-van. Tsukasa was humming along to the song on the car radio as Karou trotted up to her...him...WHATEVER!!

" What. are. you. doing. here?" Karou said between breaths.

" I'm getting some riceballs!" Tsukasa said beaming.

" Were trying to hide from Nazgul, Orcs and the dark forces of evil" Karou said " AND YOUR STANDING IN LINE FOR RICEBALLS!?!?!?!?"

" But...there riceballs" Tsukasa said " And Tohru from Fruits Baskets is making em"

" Oh.." Karou said " Well then I guess it's ok. After all; Tohru is the nicest person in any anime"

But...Kyo Sohma is another case. As Tohru took people's orders for onigiri ( or riceballs), Kyo grabbed them by there shirt collar and took a good look at them. The reason for this harassment was to find the ring bearer.

" Nope...your not him....or her...WHATEVER what'dya want!?" Kyo asked the frightened customer.

" I-I-I just want a grape rice ball!!" the customer said.

" Here you are .!!" Tohru said handing the customer a grape flavored riceball. As the customer walked away eating the riceball, Kyo shouted: " AND DON'T COME BACK!"

Tsukasa and Karou were next in line and Kyo grabbed Karou.

" Well what do you want?" Kyo asked

" I-I I wanna sake rice ball!" Karou shouted

" And I would like a plain one!" Tsukasa added in.

As the two got there riceballs, paid, and walked off, Kyo counted the money.

" Hey...wasn't that.." Kyo said

" THE RING BEARER!!!" Both Kyo and Tohru shouted.

The two abandoned there post and ran after Tsukasa and Karou.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" See that wasn't so bad" Tsukasa said

" THERE SHE IS!" Kyo shouted " GET THE RING BEARER!!"

" I'M A GUY!!!" Tsukasa shouted as he....she and Karou ran for there dear lives.

The two hobbits hide under a tree and found Shippo and Rini hiding there too.

" What are you two doing here?" Karou asked

" Where hiding from Serena and Inuyasha" Rini whispered " Keep quiet!"

Just then, Kyo walked into sight

" Why'd I have to search for the hobbits alone?" Kyo thought to himself

" You think he's talking 'bout us?" Shippo asked Rini

" Naw two other hobbits" Rini said

" What was that" Kyo said and looked around

Tsukasa began to become ensnared by the ring's power...he...she felt the urge to put on the ring.

But then, Karou poked Karou in the arm

" Ouch!" Tsukasa said in a quiet tone

Kyo turned around quickly: " Oh Gawd what if Shigure said was right...there really is a-a....Jaysun?!?!"

Rini took out a bag of leeks she had stolen and threw them into Kyo's sight

" AHHH!" Kyo shouted and ran towards the bag.

As the four ran away, Kyo opened the bag and shouted: " WTF!! I HATE LEEKS!!"

-------------------------------Later that night-------------------------------

The four hobbits decided to team up to help Tsukasa get the Carmina-...I mean Bree. But then Rini sneezed and Shigure appeared out of nowhere.

" BOOGA BOOGA!!" Shigure shouted at the four.

The four hobbit screamed bloody murder and for there lives. As Tsukasa fell behind, Karou, Shippo and Rini jumped the fench to a bridge. The three hobbits untied a continently placed raft and Tsukasa did a slow motion, matrix-like jump to the board...OOO THE SUSPENSE- WILL TSUKASA MAKE IT!!

......Oh come on people of course Tsukasa made it -.-

" Curses.." Shigure scowled and turned back to the group of ringwraiths ( which are Ayame and Kyo)

" To Bree we go!!" Tsukasa shouted

" HUZZAH!!!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next chapter ( insert Inuyasha intro music)

Introducing Inuyasha: Stand up comedian/ hanyou/ ranger/ future king/ Aragorn...

Oh at this time I want to say that I'm sorry for-

Just then Ritsu runs in and screams: " WAHHHH I'M SOO SORRY! I WILL APOLOGIZE FOR YOU I WILL SAY IT TO THE WOOORLD. IIIII'MMM SOOO SOOORRRRRYYY!"

-.- there you have it folks from Ritsu Sohma himself..


	6. The Talent Show

**Author notice ( this is major people!): **Effective until the end of the school year, posting will be slowed down because I have to focus on school work. So enjoy this chapter- I won't have anything else for a while.

At this time, I have to thank my muses Ben and Jimmy for giving me inspiration for this chapter. Thanks guys, I owe ya a pint! ().

Disclaimer: All animes are owned by their respective creators. The Lord of the Rings was made by J. R. R. Tolkien. Leon is Ben's character. I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN THIS STORY EXCEPT THE TABLES!

Chapter Six: The Talent Show

At the gates of Bree, Rini Shippo, Karou and Tsukasa ran up to the gate. Karou banged on the door and a man opened the window.

" What'dya want" the gate person asked.

" Were here for the Bree convention" Tsukasa said

" That was last week" the gate person said.

" Just let us in were freezing out here" Karou said

" Fine" the gate person spat and opened the door.

The four 'hobbits' walked around Bree five times until they came to the hostel called the Prancing Pony. Karou read the sign on the door.

" Hey they got free karaoke!" Karou said

So the four walked in and saw Tifa from Final Fantasy 7. Tifa was the bartender and hostess for the Prancing Pony.

" Hello there!" Tifa said to the new comers. " are ya staying here for the night?"

" Yes" Tsukasa said to the bartender.

" Alright then" Tifa said and opened her book, " please give me your names"

" O-our names?" Tsukasa asked

" Yes...I need your names" Tifa said and waited for the four to answer.

" I'm...Captain Planet!" Tsukasa said triumphantly.

" I'm the Red Ranger!" Rini said

" I'm Puff the Magic Dragon!" Karou shouted

" I'm Bond" Shippo said and spun around and was now wearing a black tux, " James Bond"

" I'm the yellow m&m" Leon said

" Who the hell are you!" Everyone in the bar shouted at Leon.

" The yellow M&m!"

Everyone blinked at Leon and started to throw beer bottles at him. Leon ran off stage, crying about how everyone hates him.

" Ok we get those names a lot" Tifa said to the hobbits after the m&m incident. " There's a talent show tonight and our reigning champion will be here"

As Tsukasa and Shippo sat and drank sake, Rini and Karou signed up for the talent show.

" Hey!" a tall, mysterious dog hanyou said, " What are you two gonna do? Grow and inch?"

" No!" Karou said, " were gonna put on a show!"

" heh! good luck" the tall, mysterious dog hanyou

At 8:00 p. m., the talent show began. Tifa walked onto a small platform and spoke into her microphone.

" Our first act tonight will be Karou Kamyia and Rini Tuskino!" Tifa said

Karou and Rini walked on stage as the audience gave a small round of applause.

" Hello" Rini said, " Tonight, we will perform an interpretive dance called The Hageromo"

Karou and Rini did a two minute dance and was giving a standing ovation. (a/n: The Hageromo is a main theme to the manga Ceres Celestial Legend. For more details, please do a search on The Hageromo. Thank you)

After a few other acts, Tifa announced that a hanyou by the Inuyasha would be taking the stage.

Inuyasha, the tall, mysterious dog hanyou from before, walked on stage. He was oddly dressed as Mirkou.

" I suppose you are wondering why I am dressed as the monk" Inuyasha said to the crowd, " I have decided to give impersonation a shot, and Mirkou is my target for tonight!"

Inuyasha cleared his throat and looked at the crowd.

" I see that there are a lot of women in the crowd tonight" Inuyasha said and ran out into the crowd.

" uhhh excuse me Miss" Inuyasha said and grabbed a lady's hands. " Will you bear my child"

'SMACK!'

This commenced another three times, all rejections to the hanyou now hentai monk.

" Oh please I do not act that desperate" Mirkou said

" Riiiight" Tifa said

Mirkou then looked over at Tifa and grabbed her hands. " Will you bear my child?"

Tifa rolled her eyes at Mirkou and powered up _Beat Rush_. Mirkou was sent back to Lorien so he could prepare for his part as Celeborn. Tifa then walked up to the stage and was about to announce the winner.

" WAIT!" Tsukasa shouted, " I have annn act tooooooo"

Tsukasa, acting all trippy, slips on his foot. The One Ring fell out of his hand and slipped on his finger.

" NOOOOOOO!" Karou, Shippo and Rini shouted

Tsukasa disappeared in front of everyone's eyes. The crowd blinked a couple of times and the cheered for the disappearing act.

Meanwhile, Tsukasa...was in big trouble. Tsukasa saw Sesshomaru ( who is missing his right arm).

" Heh...so your the pathetic being who has my ring" Sesshomaru said

" uhh...no I don't" Tsukasa said and put is hands behind his back. Tsukasa took off the ring and found himself under the table where Inuyasha sat. Inuyasha dropped him ramen and grabbed Tsukasa.

" You draw to much attention to yourself Captain Planet" Inuyasha said in a serious tone and began to drag Tsukasa to his room...but then came back for the bowl of ramen as well...but then Inuyasha got it together and threw Tsukasa into the room

" I'm not that type of he/she!" Tsukasa shouted

Inuyasha had a sweat drop on his forehead, " I'm not going to rape you!" Inuyasha shouted and went back into character, " Little more caution from you boy..you carry a ring"

" N-no..." Tsukasa said, his voice cracked, " I- I am n-not carrying a r-ing"

" You do too" Inuyasha " I have the dog nose here!"

" Who are you?" Tsukasa asked

" Are you scared?" Inuyasha asked back

Tsukasa didn't answer and Inuyasha shouted, " Well are you!"

Tsukasa get so scared of the hanyou that he had another heart attack.

" Son of a-" Inuyasha began to shout, but then was cut off by a _technical difficulties_ sign.

After five minutes of this sign, the movie resumes with Tsukasa breathing into a oxygen mask.

" I'm better" Tsukasa said, " I think I saw Jesus"

" -- well now that we established that you ARE scared- You will be even more frightened-" Inuyasha started to say, but was then cut off by Tsukasa.

" What there's two of you!" Tsukasa asked, only to be bashed in the head by Inuyasha.

Just then, Rini, Shippo and Karou burst in.

" We heard Tsukasa has another heart attack so back off!" Rini shouted, " Or I'll have at you Longshanks!"

There was about five seconds of silence until the whole ground ( minus Rini) began to burst out in laughter.

" They are coming for you...we must go to Rivendell" Inuyasha said

" Aren't you supposed to explain to us about the ringwraiths?" Shippo asked

"...no" Inuyasha commented, " No c'mon!"

Next chapter!

Ringwraits a'la Furuba!

We will rejoin Yoko-sama in the evil tower

AND...Sephiroth will make an appearance...we think..


	7. Tsukasa’s third near death experience

**Disclaimer: **( I am listening to Rammstein now) After being out for a while, I have decided to update this glorious parody! I do not own any of the anime/videogames that make an appearance in this story. **_It's good to be back folks! Give me the reviews! _**

Chapter the seventh: Tsukasa's third near death experience...

We will now check up on Yoko at the fake Orthanc tower, which is owned by Queen Beryl.

" I hate you Shingetsu..." Yoko only grumbled this.

And _"I hate me too" _said the director off stage

" I wonder how Tsukasa is doing" Yoko commented to himself, " I hope he didn't have another heart attack..."

Meanwhile, Inuyasha was leading the four "hobbits" into the wild

" Where are we going?" Tsukasa asked.

" Into the wild" Inuyasha responded.

" I know that's what it said a few lines up" Tsukasa said, "But where?"

" To Ooyama village" Inuyasha said but then slapped his forehead, " Damn it I mean Rivendell!"

The four "hobbits" cracked up laughing at Inuyasha's stupidity. The four then had very large bump marks on their heads.

After walking for 30 long miles, the hanyou led the four "hobbits" to an old building.

" This is Aman-sul's old watchtower" Inuyasha said, sounding like a tour guide; " it burned down in The Great Fire of Chicago"

" Oooooo" the "hobbits" said in awe. Rini, took a picture of Inuyasha and the old tower.

" They say that a bunch of freaky stuff happens after midnight up there" Inuyasha continued, " Like ghosts and apparitions appear to TAKE TRAVELERS TO HELL WITH THEM! BUWHAHAHAHHA"

The traveler bit was just used to scare the poor four "hobbits"...and it worked because all four of them ran around in circles yelling " WERE GONNA DIE!"

" Well let's head up there for the night so we can rest" Inuyasha said with a smile on his face.

So, Inuyasha led the four "hobbits" to the old run down watchtower. The tower didn't look very safe. For one thing, there was a basement that had freezer that oozed blood every few minutes. Rini, being "brave", checked to see if there was any ice cream in it. No such luck for the Chibi Sailor Scout.

" Well!" Inuyasha said and clapped his hands together; " I'm tired of this place and everyone in it. I'll be back in about two or three hours."

So the four "hobbits" were left alone in the old watchtower. As Tsukasa dosed off, Rini, Shippo and Karou played _"The Scream as Loud as You Can" _game. It was either that or _"The Floor is Lava" _(I would have played the flood is lava)The winner ended up being Karou, who shouted-

" **I LOVE YOU KENSHIN HIMURAAAAA!" **Karou shouted, sending out an echo down to the valley below. And I can assure you, 50 miles away at Rivendel; our own Kenshin Himura sneezed very loudly while meditating...poor Kenshin-sama (sniffle).

" Hey will you keep it down!" Tsukasa said after the last shouting round.

" Don't worry Tsukasa!" Karou said, " We'll be fine"

Just then, a loud SCREEEEEEEEEECH was heard across the valley. Ayame, Tohru, Kagura, Momiji, and Kyo-ring wraiths were walking into the tower.

" Switch to battle mode!" Tsukasa said triumphantly and summoned his staff.

Tsukasa and the others ran for their lives to the very top of the tower. Then, Tohru walked into where the four "hobbits" just where.

" Knock knock!" Tohru said cheerfully.

" Tohru were nazgul!" Kyo-ringwraith said, " Nazgul don't go knock knock!"

" Nor do they have any fashion sense" Ayame commented, " I mean c'mon! Black draping cloth with a black hood-oooo that's soooo original...sarcasm!"

" Well I think it's fun!" Momiji said while grinning, " It's like Halloween! WHEEEE!"

Momiji-ring wraith danced around until Kyo-ringwraith bashed him in the head.

" Whaaa! Tohru-ringwraith, Kyo-ringwraith hit meee" Momiji cried.

" Kyo! What an unkind thing to do" Kagura-ringwraith said and then went demonic on Kyo, " wOuLd YoU dO tHaT tO oUr ChIlD?"

" Hey focus!" The director called out, " Go attempt to kill the 'Hobbits'"

The five wraiths said, " HAI!" In unison and slowly snuck upstairs.

Upstairs-

" Got any two's?" Tsukasa asked

" Go fish" Karou responded.

The five wraiths popped into view.

" I am very sorry for having to do this" Momiji said while taking out his sword, " I hope we can still be friends afterwards!"

Kyo pretends to knock out Rini and Shippo.

( "Please God, don't let Tsukasa have another heart attack"-Kato thought)

Ayame goes towards Tsukasa slowly. Tsukasa then, on accident, tripped foreword and landed on Ayame. There was a small POOF and Ayame transformed into his snake form.

" CUT!" the director shouted, " Re-do that!"

" ADLOTR's TAKE 5" Ben shouted and snapped the clipy thingy, " ACTION!"

Tsukasa fell backwards this time and put on the ring, disappearing. Ayame smirked and stabbed thin air. Tsukasa screamed bloody murder, the pain unbearable. Just then, Inuyasha appeared and attacked by hugging Kagura-ringwraith. Kagura-ringwraith turned into her boar form. Karou hugged Ayame and Momiji-ringwraiths while Rini tackle-glomped Kyo-ringwraith. The three turned into their respective animals of the Zodiac. As Inuyasha and the hobbits rushed off with an injured Tsukasa, Tohru-ringwraith checked on the other ringwraiths.

" Why don't you go after them!" Kyo screamed at Tohru.

" Were a team! And we have-" Tohru began to say. But then, Kyo, Ayame, Momiji and Kagura turned back into their human forms.

" -EEEEEEK" Tohru freaked out and turned around while the rest put their close on, she managed to finish her speech, " We have to stick together"

Meanwhile, Karou was feeling one of Tsukasa's cheeks, " He's getting cold!" Karou said.

Inuyasha looked back at the three, all of them trying to comfort Tsukasa.

" Is he going to die?" Rini asked the hanyou.

" Yes" Inuyasha said in a frank tone and leaned over to Tsuakasa, " Gooo tooo the liiiiight Tsukasaaaaa"

" INUYASHA!" Shippo shouted and slapped Inuyasha in the head for his idiocy.

Inuyasha then decided to get help from Karou.

" Help me find weed" Inuyasha said and began to read his hand, " Um... Advil..less"

" Hai!"

Inuyasha and Karou went and searched for kingsoil. The Hanyou was about to get a leaf off the ground when an arrow is felt at the back of his head.

" Kagome?" Inuyasha said.

" Guess again Inuyasha..."

(enter the p.o.v. of Tsukasa)

_I see darkness all around me._

_So many things I should have done...like trying Red Bull...I hate Yoko..._

A glowing Miko walked up to Tsukasa

_That costume makes her look fat..._

_( Oo;; ok we should exit the mind of Tsukasa now)_

Kikyo was glowing thanks to the aid of her soul skimmers. She knelt down and spoke to Tsukasa.

" Come back to the light Tsukasa-chan" Kikyo said.

" IDIOT! LIGHT MEANS DEATH!" The Director shouted from off stage.

" Damn it!" Kikyo said and then shook Tsukasa, " Stay wherever you are. We'll get help!"

" We gotta take him somewhere safe" Inuyasha said

" My God!" Karou said, " That's the smartest thing you've said so far in this story!"

Luckily, Inuyasha did not hear the comment that Karou said. Kikyo managed to get Tsukasa up onto her loan horse (notice I put loan and not lone) and rode off into the night...which is odd because it's only three o'clock in the afternoon.

" So...you guys wanna play poker?" Rini asked.

" HELL YEAH!"

Back with Kikyo-

As Kikyo rode, something happened. All nine- That's right!- All nine of the ringwraiths appeared and began to tail Kikyo. The group was Ayame, Tohru, Hana, Shigure, Kyo, Momiji, Kagura, Uo, and, Akito.

" Here we go again" Ayame sighed, " Gureeee-saaannn! I hate being a Nazgul! They don't have any fashion sense!"

" Aya-chan your forgetting" Shigure said, " It is not about the fashion! It's about the slashin'"

" Hai you are right" Ayame said and laughed.

The nine chased Kikyo throughout the entire set. Kyo almost crashed into the editing trailer and ran over Kato.

" WAHHH!" Kato screamed while on the ground...poor Kato ( ;;)

Finally, Kikyo got across the river. The nine couldn't cross because they were afraid of water.

" Give us the stupid wavemaster!" Akito managed to shout...poor Akito, he was running a fever once again.

" Try it!" Kikyo shouted and took out her bow and arrow.

The nine drew there swords and...Kikyo couldn't remember the spell for the river flood.

" Uh I know!" Kikyo said and began to pray,

" _Dear Kami,_

_Please send Sephiroth to kill the Nazgul._

_Amen"_

" D'oh!" Kato said and then shouted, " Queue flood!"

The flood came roaring down between the nine and Kikyo.

" AHHHHHHHH!" The nazgul screamed and where swept away by the flood.

Tsukasa let out a groan, the poor guy was dying.

" You really aren't faking a heart attack" Kikyo said and hugged him, " Tsukasa be strong"

Next time on Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings:

The forming of the tomodachi!...aka- there goes the fanfiction.


	8. There goes the Movie

Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to any of the anime or videogame characters you see in this fanfiction. I also do now own the copyrights to The Lord of the Rings. The stage hands belong to me or are actual people who have volunteered to be in this fanfiction.

Chapter Eight: There goes the Movie

As Tsukasa laid there in darkness, Kenshin Himura came into view.

" Tsukasa...come back to the light" Kenshin said

" YOU IDIOT LIGHT IS THE WAY TO DEATH!" Karou shouted.

" Oro...AH-GOMEN WAIT TSUKASA DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT" Kenshin shouted while shaking Tsukasa, " STEP AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!"

O.o;;;

So Tsukasa finally woke up, not having chose either darkness or light. The poor wavemaster was in a hospital bed.

" Ohhhh my head" Tsukasa said, " What did I do?"

" You had another heart attack" Yoko answered.

Tsukasa sat up in the bed, " What happened?" he asked.

" I was delayed" Yoko answered.

" You mean you were stealing stuff" Tsukasa corrected.

Just when a full blown argument was to commence among the two, Karou ran in.

" Tsukasa! Your alive!" she shouted and glomped Tsukasa.

"...icantbreatheee" Tsukasa managed to say

And then Kenshin walked in, " Welcome to Rivendel Tsukasa-kun" he said.

So Tsukasa and Karou walked of side of the hospital into the small city. The two were gretted by Rini and Shippo who glomped Tsukasa, who again could not breathe.

Meanwhile in a study hall, two people were having a very important conversation.

" See" Kenshin said while looking at the script, " Were supposed to be having an important conversation, that we are"

" Quit kissing up to the director" Yoko said.

" Fine!...I am very relieved that Tsukasa has recovered, that I am!" Kenshin said.

" Tsukasa wasn't meant to bear this burden" Yoko said

" So now what do we do" Kenshin said.

" I think we should have a meeting with all the races of the land and decided what to do" Yoko said.

"...That's actually a good idea" Kenshin said, " I must be dreaming!"

Kenshin then smacked Yoko across the head.

" Hey what was that for?" Yoko shouted.

" I thought I was dreaming so I smacked you" Kenshin said.

" Um Kenshin" Kato said from off stage, " Usually when you think your dreaming, you hit yourself"

" Hey I'm not smacking myself in the head" Kenshin said and then changed the subject, " I'll get members of each country to come here and we'll have a debate"

About five minutes later Bear the human, Kagome the elf and Kuwabara the idiot dwarf were walking around outside.

" I had to give up studying for a math exam for this!" Kagome grumbled.

" Could be worse..." Bear said while looking at a map of Rivendel. The three could not find _Conference Hall C _anywhere on the map.

" Hey!" Bear called out to a passer-byer (Inuyasha), " Could you tell us where Conference Hall C is?"

" No...I don't live here" Inuyasha said, " Besides I am supposed to be in the library...whatever that is..."

So while the three continued to search for Conference Hall C, we now join Inuyasha in the library...whatever that is (;;). Inuyasha sat in the library, trying to read a math book.

" a+ 1/4 divided by x -c" Inuyasha managed to read, " What kind of spell is this?"

Bear walked in, having followed Inuyasha. He spot the broken Tetsuaiga on an alter.

" The shardes of Tetsuaiga" Bear said in awe while picking it up, " The blade that cut of Sesshomaru's arm off.."

Bear ended up slitting his finger because he wasn't careful with the shard.

" Don't get to comfy with mah sword!" Inuyasha said proudly, " I'm getting it remade at the end of the movie"

" Fine!" Bear said and droped the sword. He walked off, leaving the sword on the ground.

Inuyasha walked over and put the sword on the alter. As Inuyasha stood there, Kikyo appeared at the side of the Hanyou.

" Why do you fear the past Inuyasha?" Kikyo asked.

" Because the past nearly destroyed us" Inuyasha said and forgot this was the movie, " Naraku tricked us-"

" Were being filmed!" Kikyo hissed.

" Oh..." Inuyasha said, " Because the same blood flows though my veins...The same weakness"

At that point, Inuyasha paused and was now pissed off, " Wait a second, I AM NOT WEAK!-"

" Inuyasha focus!" Kikyo hissed again and resumed character, " You will meet the same enemy and you will defeat him"

" That's it I'm leaving!" Inuyasha said and was about to walk off when-

" I got ramen noodles" Kikyo said

" Ok I'll stay..." Inuyasha said with a smile on his face.

" Do you remember when we first met?" Kikyo asked Inuyasha, ready for a romantic scene.

"...ramen..." Inuyasha commented cause his was in a trance.

" I want to stay with you Inuyasha.." Kikyo said.

Still, Inuyasha commented, "...ramen"

Kikyo, annoyed at Inuyasha's love for ramen noodles, pushed Inuyasha off the balcony area. Inuyasha landed on his back on the first floor...poor baka hanyou.

Anyway! The next day, the big meeting in Conference Hall C was beginning to take place. Yes Bear, Kagome, and, Kuwabara found the hall without any problems. At 12:01 P.M. Eastern time, Kenshin stood up and began his monologue.

" What's a monologue?" Cloud asked Kato.

" Shut up Cloud!" Kato whispered.

Kenshin stood up, " Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, you've been summoned to answer the threat of Mordor...Hey I just did a rhyme!"

Kato slapped her forehead at Kenshin's break in character.

" Tsukasa, put the ring of the table" Kenshin said

Tsukasa put the ring on the circular table and everybody looked at the queue card. It read _" gasp" _so everybody gasped in fear of the EEEEVIILLL RING OF POWER!

" ooo it's so pretty!" Bear said, " Let's use it"

" Idiot" Inuyasha said, " That's just what Sesshomaru wants us to do!"

" And what does a Hanyou know" Bear commented.

Kagome stood up, " Are you blind! This is Inuyasha aka Aragorn!"

" Who the hell is Aragorn?" Inuyasha asked.

" -.- The person your supposed to be playing as!" Kagome said

" Oh ya That's me!" Inuyasha said

" This is Inu-Isludir's heir?" Bear asked, going back into character.

" And heir to the throne of Gondor" Kagome added in with a smug look on her face.

Kagome sat back down, leg crossed over the other with a happy look on her face.

" Burger has no king...burger needs no king" Bear said to Inuyasha and sat down.

" I just messed up that line...didn't I?" Bear said aloud.

" YES!" the whole conference room answered.

" Damn..."

" Anyway..." Yoko said, " Inuyasha is right."

" We have only one choice" Kenshin said, " One of you must take this very ring back to Mt.Doom and destroy it...Ok...Any volunteers?"

There was a silence in the hall. One could hear a cricket chirp in the distance...followed by a wolf's howl. Ok we now realize that no one wants to do this (;;).

" One does not simply walk in to Sesshomaru's fortress!" Bear stated, " The air there is like carbon monoxide. It is impossible!"

" Nothing is impossible!" Kagome said to Bear, " Didn't you hear Kenshin-sama! The ring must be destroyed!"

" And I suppose you will be to one who takes it!" Kuwabara said to Kagome, " Or are you a chicken!"

" You wanna take this outside?" Kagome snapped back at Kuwabara.

" Wha?- I don't hit girls!" Kuwabara said

" Alright that's it!" Kagome shouted at Kuwabara, " Your going down!"

Kagome wiled on Kuwbara, punching him. A small circle formed around them chanting, " FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"

Tsukasa looked at the ring go up in flames, his heart rate increased a bit.

" No I cannot have another heart attack!" Tsukasa thought and stood up.

" I will take the ring to Mordor!" Tsukasa shouted.

Everyone stopped and looked at the small hobbit.

"..though, I do not know the way" Tsukasa said, crestfallen that he did not have a map.

"...I will help you Tsukasa" Yoko said.

" Really?" Tsukasa said while looking up at Yoko.

" No! BWUAHAHAHAHAH!" Yoko said, " Oh man you should of scene your face!"

Just then, Yoko got hit by a Thunderga- cast by Kato Shingetsu and Riku from Kingdom Hearts.

"...I hate you Shingetsu.." Yoko said.

" And I hate me too" Kato said, " Now, help Tsukasa or you can go back to being Suichi for the rest of the fic!"

" Fine dammit fine!" Yoko shouted, " I'll help you Tsukasa!"

Inuyasha, moved by Yoko's acting, stood up.

" As long as I have blood in my veins...I will help you" Inuyasha said, " You have my nameless sword"

Inuyasha took a step foreward but slipped and the end of the blade went into his foot.

" AHHHHHHHH!" Inuyasha screamed in pain and fell, clutching his foot, " I WANT TETSUAIGA BACK"

The rest of the group decided to be in character for the chapter,

" And you have my bow" Kagome said

There was an awkward moment, when then Karou walked in.

" I'm going too!" she shouted, " So are Rini and Shippo"

Meanwhile, in the karaoke hall-

Rini and Shippo were singing the Sailor Moon theme song when suddenely- they both sneezed at the same time...very loudly I might add.

" Why do I have the feeling Karou just signed us up for something?" Shippo said.

" I have to agree with you"

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNN

End chapter eight-

Authoress notes- bwuahahah I got Yu Yu Hakusho volume seven! Nyahahahaahah!


	9. The Mall of Moria aka Ben gets to be a

Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to any of the anime characters, video games, Lord of the Rings, etc you see in this story. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. The iPod is owned by Apple computers ( I've got an iPod Shuffle XP ). I also do not own (the store or anything from) Abercrombie and Fitch.

Chapter Nine: The Mall of Moria (aka- Ben gets to be a director)..oh and Yoko cheats death...

As the nine walkers were getting ready, Elk was talking to Tsukasa.

" I have some gifts for you" Elk said to the wavemaster. Elf took out a cheap plastic sword, " This will help you in battle"

" Um...thanks" Tsukasa said, taking the fake sword with pride and care.

" That sword was made by Kenshin and his merry men" Elk said happily, " Oh yeah one more thing"

Elk took out a shirt

" A Marilyn Manson in Concert tee-shirt?" Tsukasa asked when looking at the black shirt. "Oooo! How did you get that?" Tsukasa asked in awe

" 100,000 Chuckie Cheese prize tickets" Elk answered proudly, " Well try it on!"

Elk saw the Ring as Tsukasa took off her overshirt.

" M-my ring" Elk said with an innocent tone, " Can I try it on again?"

" um...no" Tsukasa answered.

Elk then went demonic and shouted, " GIVE ME THE RING BAKA HOBBIT!"

" MEEP!" Tsukasa gave a small squeak and cowered in fear.

Elk stopped for a moment and realized that he was acting like an idiot. " Gomen ne...Tsukasa-kun..."

Tsukasa left elk to sob like a cry-baby on his own.

Insert some heroic music my friends because the year long journey is about to begin!

So, the wavemaster, sailor scout, child kitsune, assistant dojo master, Hanyou, high school student, baka, sword master, and, Kitsune/bishounen began their journey.

(a/n: Can you guess who's who. The person with the right answers-All 9 of them will win a special prize!)

The nine walked thought valleys and hills. And then the slow motion, majestic scene took place as Yoko led the way, followed by Tsukasa the Ringbearer. Next came Inuyasha who was eating ramen noodles in slow motion, then Kagome, the Karou who was bashed in the head by Rini for no reason. Finally Shippo and Bear finished the line, ending the majestic slow motion scene.

_" We hold to this course for 40 days...leading us to Mordor"_

And now, we join the nine on a short rest.

Bear was training Rini and Shippo is the art of swordsman (or woman)ship. Everyone else was either eating some lunch or sleeping.

Kuwabara, however, was busy writing a letter to his love,

_" Dear Yukina-san,_

_It is really hot out here in the desert (yeah that's right...he thinks their eating a sugary course after dinner...idiot). I really, really m-_

" What the hell is Kuwabara doing?" Kato asked while filming

" Dunno" Ben said and then shouted, " Oi! Baka!"

" Yes? OH WAIT I AM NOT STUPID!" Kuwabara shouted.

" Yeah whatever" Ben said and began to explain, " Yukina-san is over there"

Ben pointed over to Yukina who was having a conversation with stage hand Holly.

" Well the pay is nice" Holly commented, " But I think the sound guy, Jimmy, is a bit of a pervert"

" YUKINA-SAN!" Kuwabara shouted and waved, he would of walked over but was being restrained by Bear and Inuyasha.

" Hello Kazuma-kun" Yukina said and went back to the conversation.

" Oh for Pete's sake!" Kato said, " Can we please continue with the story?"

" Yes we can" Rini said

Annnnyway-

" Why not go underground" Kuwabara suggested to Yoko.

" Because...there's a lot of creepy stuff in the mines" Yoko answered.

Why the two were conversing, Bear accidentally jabbed Shippo in the foot.

" Ow!...REVENGE!" Shippo shouted and him and Rini tickle-attacked Bear.

" Oh yeah sure...that will defeat our enemies reallllly well" Inuyasha said.

" Inuyasha" Kagome said dully, " Sit"

" WAH!"- and crash went the baka hanyou.

Kagome said this as she was on look out, she gasped and said- " Crepes!...no erm..."

" Oh forget it everyone take cover!" Inuyasha said. He now had a bruise on his forehead but did that stop our favorite hanyou...hell no!

Everyone took cover as rabid crows swarmed the place. They formed together to be Karasu (a/n: I know this isn't one of his powers...but it's good for the story)

" HOLY SHIZNIT!" Kato shouted, " You supposed to be dead.. I REFUSE TO HAVE A SAPPY REVIVAL FIC!"

" Relax, I'm only working with Beryl" Karasu said.

"Relax" Karasu says, yeah sure. The stage hands, directors, and non-actors were either terrified (Kato), freaked out ( Ben), or just ready to fight (Holly).

" Aw whatever...continue" Kato said after calming down

So Karasu flew back off in crow form and everyone came out of hiding.

" Great" Yoko said, " Another person I hate...we'll have to go another way"

And so, the nine were walking up the mountain. Tsukasa fell backwards and rolled into Inuyasha.

" Watch the shoes!" Inuyasha snapped.

" Sorry Inuyasha-sama..." Tsukasa said and reached to check if he had the ring. Tsukasa didn't, the ring was on the snowy ground. Bear picked up the ring and looked at it in awe.

" It's sooooo pretty" Bear said in a trance.

" Hey!" Inuyasha shouted, " Give the ring back to Captain Planet!"

Everyone at this point, had a sweat drop on their forehead.

" My name is Tsukasa!" Tsukasa said

" Fine fine" Bear said and gave the ring back to Tsukasa, " Who cares about a ring when I have a kick ass sword!"

Back at the Tower of Orthanc:

Beryl and Karasu were currently enjoying tea time.

" Oh and just to let you know" Karasu said, " Yoko is leading the others up the mountain path"

" Oooo this just gets better and better!" Beryl said and stood up, " Ever scene a mountain collapse before?"

" As a matter o' fact I saw it happen five minutes ago on the news" Karasu commented, " Those poor, poor people."

"...shut up..." Beryl said dully and took out her staff. Beryl walked up to the tip top of the tower.

" What are ya gonna do?" Karasu asked

" First..." Beryl said and then pushed Karasu off the tower.

" _AHHHHHHHHHHH!" _was heard followed by a very messy "Splat". Beryl received many stares from the stage crew.

" Aw c'mon" Beryl said, " Who didn't want to do that?"

" yea good point..." was the response that came from the stage crew.

Any who, Beryl went back to her destruction of the mountain. So, Beryl decided to play _The Scream as Loud as You Can _game (as scene in chapter seven).

_" I HOPE YOU ALL DIE A VERY PAINFUL DEATH!"_

On the Mountain path

Kagome was the first to hear this curse. " What the heck?" she said and walked up to Yoko, " There's somebody putting a curse on us"

" It's Beryl..." Yoko said, " She just doesn't quit!"

Another curse was reached the group,

_" I HATE YOU ALL!...THUNDERGA!" _

Just then, a large bolt of lightening hit the top of the mountain. The snow from the avalanche buried the nine travelers.

Somehow, the miraculously survived (dull cheer: Hurray...).

" We have to get off this mountain!" Inuyasha shouted while shaking snow from his hair.

Everyone looked at Kuwabara, he was supposed to say something...but he forgot because he is an idiot!

" What?" Kuwabara said and then realized he was supposed to say something, " Oh...um, let's go through the mines!"

Yoko had an ominous, yet calm look on his face.

" Let Tsukasa decide" Yoko said

Everyone looked at Tsukasa.

"um..PASS!" Tsukasa panicked into saying. He received a bash on the head by Inuyasha.

" OWW.. fine we'll go through the freakin' mall!" Tsukasa spat.

Later...much later:

The nine got to the walls of Moria's mall.

" Yay my home!" Kuwabara said happily.

The other 8 walkers gasped in awe. They walked over to the door.

Off stage, Ben (stagehand) was snickering.

" Wha?" Kato said, " What's so funny Benji-kun?"

" Nothing, nothing" Ben said.

" You've done something" Kato said in her directors chair, " What-have-you-done?"

" OI SHINGETSU!" Inuyasha shouted, " None of us can read this door!"

" One it's in Elvish" Kato said, " Two...the script gave-"

" It's l33t" Yoko commented.

Kato gave Ben a slow death glare. " You changed...my script?"

" Hey you didn't want to do word for word" Ben exclaimed.

" Yes but I also don't want to die by Yoko's hands!" Kato shouted back.

" Too late" Yoko said and dashed towards Kato.

Just then, Riku appeared out of a portal of Darkness and got Kato out of danger (phew...I survive!). The empty directors seat was now occupied by Ben.

" J35!" Ben shouted in l33t (translation: Yes). " Continue with the fanfiction!"

So Yoko grudgingly went back onto the set and sighed.

" It reads: Welcome to Mor-"

" AHEM!" Ben said from off stage, " it's in l33t!"

Yoko turned and looked at the temp-director, " Tell me. Would you like to die by death tree?"

"O.O!...Any way's fine!" Ben squeaked and got Sephiroth to be his bodyguard.

" Like I was about to say," Yoko said, " It says, Welcome to the mall of Moria. Password needed to get in"

" You don't know the password.. do you?" Inuyasha asked.

"...no" Yoko said.

So around two hours later, Yoko gave up on the password and just decided to attack with his death tree. The door instantly crumbled.

" BOB CHIRST!" Ben shouted, went into Prairie Dog mode and hid in Sephiroth's pocket.

" Hey my iPods in there!" Sephiroth said.

" Yeah I know" Ben said while listening to something, " You've got your own theme song on this!"

" Heh..yeah"

Anyway, back with the nine who were walking into the mall (-.-#).

The group was greeted by a voice over done by Toto-sai. _(voice over indicated in italics)_

Tsukasa walked in, _" Welcome to the mine he/she". _Rini walked in, _" haha your a pathetic fighter!". _Shippo walked in, _" Ditto!". _Karou walked in, _" There is a buy 1 get 5 free sale on Sake!"_. Inuyasha walked in, _" Dumb ass"_ " Old geezer" Inuyasha grumbled. Kagome walked in, _" Haha! Your not Arwen!" _" Happy thoughts, happy thoughts" Kagome said to herself. Kuwabara walked in, "...baka". Yoko walked in, _" COUGHSHOPLIFTERCOUGH"_ "-.-". Finally Bear walked in and-

_" beep You will die in seven days" _Toto-sai said, he was placed right next to the door.

Everyone glared at the sword smith and wailed on him for his comments. Finally, Bear noticed something,

" E-everyone's dead!" Bear said while looking at the corpse. He backed away from them and moved towards Inuyasha, " We should have never come here"

Just then, a giant tentacle grabbed Tsukasa's ankle. A " MEEEEEEEEEEEP" came from the wavemaster as he was dragged out of the mall and back into the open. The thing that grabbed Tsukasa rose from out of the water and turned out to be a rather large squid.

Kagome, being the kick-ass ninja like elf that she is (j/k) shot the squid in the eyes and caught Tsukasa in midair. Then all nine of them ran into the mall, moments after the mall entrance was destroyed along with Toto-sai (hurray!).

" Great..." Yoko said, " We get to be in a broken down mall for three days"

So everybody began to follow the kitsune through the once honorable mall of Moria. Everybody passed an Abercrombie and Fitch.

"WOO HOO!" The group shouted in joy...because we all know that Abercrombie's prices, sizes and everything in between are very rediclious.

The nine finally got to an intersection and Yoko stoped.

" What's up Kitsune-sama?" Tsukasa asked.

"Um..." Yoko responded and sweat drops appeared on his forehead.

" You can't remember anything about this place" Shippo said, " Can you?"

" Nope..." Yoko answered and the rest of the group fell in anime fashion. (-.-)

Around five minutes later, everyone (minus Yoko) took a seat in a nearby Apple computers store.

" Hey I got a flashmail from BT!" Bear said and checked his letter.

" Are we lost?" Rini asked Shippo.

"No" Shippo answered.

" Shippo-kun?" Rini asked.

" What?"

" Onaka ga suita.." Rini said while frowning (translation: I'm hungry)

Tsukasa got up and sat next to Yoko. Tsukasa looked over her shoulder to see a gangly creature's eyes glaring at her.

" What was that?" Tsukasa said quietly.

" It's Aki.." Yoko responded.

"...who is Aki?" Tsukasa asked.

" He owned the ring before Elk did" Yoko responded, slightly annoyed.

" It's a pity Elk didn't kill him" Tsukasa said.

" Tsukasa.. do yourself a favor" Yoko said, " Go get me a blue slushy and stop pestering me while I am trying to think"

So Tsukasa did as she was told and got Yoko the blueberry slushy.

" Thanks" Yoko said and took a sip, causing a massive brain freeze, " AHHHHHHH!...wait a second...that's it!"

" You hear that people!" Kuwabara said quickly, " Yoko's dumb, dumb as me!"

" No..." Yoko said and took out his rose whip, " When in doubt, always follow your nose-"

" IDIOT!" Inuyasha shouted, " Even I could of though of that!"

So everyone followed Yoko and his crackpot idea of _"Following you nose". _The nine ended up in a HUGE food court...which makes one wonder where Tsukasa got the Blue Slushy...O.o;;

" See...my "crackpot" idea wasn't so bad after all" Yoko said.

Everyone looked at the old, majestic food court in awe. Just then, Kuwabaka ran off into a broken down store called _T.J's._

So the group chased after the baka and found him looking at a grave. Kuwabara was of course frozen because of his sixth sense.

" Whatever happened here was bad.." Kuwabara managed to say.

Yoko looked around and saw a small journal, he picked it up and began reading:

" December 16, 2004-

They are coming for us...We gonna die now aren't we. I just only wished I would have gotten that damn fox shoplifter. God, I would have-"

Yoko read to himself the rest and was now in shock. He closed the book promptly and tossed it to the side.

Shippo, not paying attention, bumped into a very large CD player. The Cd Player turned on and out blasted _Mambo Gozón by Tito Puente and His Orchestra._ Inuyasha dashed over and destroyed the cd player with his Iron Reaver Soul Stealer. He then bashed poor (yet stupid) Shippo in the head.

" YOU IDIOT!" Inuyasha shouted and continued to beat Shippo, " Because of you were gonna die now!"

" Quiet!" Yoko snapped at the two.

Everyone listened, there was a noise in the distance. It sounded like _Ich Will by Rammstein_...the battle song of the Youma Army (Beryl's Army and our orcs for this story).

So everyone assumed battle position. Kagome, Inuyasha, and, Bear go to brace the door.

" They have a level 40 cave troll!" Bear said.

Everyone took out their respective weapons.

" Let's waste em!" Tsukasa said gangsta style.

Just then, Ben's crony by the name of Leon appeared,

" Yeah let's smoke em like it ain't no thing!" Leon said.

Everyone looked at the newcomer with a sweatdrop on their forehead and shouted, " GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" to Leon. Leon poofed off of the stage as the Youma ran in. Before the Youma could even attack, the Level 40 Cave Troll came in and smashed them all. The cave troll roared and intimidated Shippo. Shippo hid behind Sailor Chibi Moon (that's right you heard me!).

The eight (remember, Shippo withdrew from battle) charged at the cave troll and began to slash at random places. The most experienced of the fighters; being Yoko, Inuyasha and to a lesser extent, Bear and Kuwabara, hit the most vulnerable parts like the ankles and legs. The less experienced fighters; being Karou, Rini, and, Tsukasa, either threw rocks at the troll (Karou), attacked with something called Pink Sugar Hearts Attack ( Rini) or healed fighters when it was needed (Tsukasa)

Again, it was Kagome's moment to shine as she used her kick-ass ninja like elven skills to tightrope walk on a chain that got caught on a pole. This chain was connected to the cave trolls neck. Kagome stood on the cave trolls shoulders and shot him through the head. She then jumped off before the cave troll could swing at her.

Just then, the cave troll (still able to walk), staggered towards Tsukasa and stabbed the poor gender confused wavemaster. Kagome, pissed that her first arrow didn't work, shot the troll again through the head. The troll let out an odd groan and began to stumble forewords. The troll fell and the lesser experienced fighters gained a level of experience (yay!).

Tsukasa, however, was not able to cheer because of her recent injury. In fact, Tsukasa was on the ground.

" Is Tsukasa-kun dead?" Yoko asked.

Speak of the devil! Just then, Tsukasa sat up and groaned in pain. " My head.." she said.

" How?..." Inuyasha said, " How did you survive that!"

Tsukasa showed everyone the Marilyn Manson in concert tee-shirt. It's scary appearance, had saved the wavemaster from death.

The victory was short lived, because there was rumbling in the background.

" We have to leave" Yoko said.

Everyone rushed out of T.J's only to meet 30 trillion youma...oh yeah try fighting that off. The nine prepared for a grim defeat when suddenly, a loud DOOM was heard. The 30 trillion Youma army scattered quickly.

"What in the seven hells is out there?" Inuyasha asked Yoko.

" Something from the seven ring of hell" Yoko answered, " EVERYONE RUN!"

So everyone bolted and they jumped over a crack in the steep staircase.. Why? Cause it was Friday the 13th.

" Get over the bridge" Yoko shouted.

" Hey wait a minute.." Kuwabara asked, " Why do we have to listen to you"

Yoko gave Kuwabara the last death glare for a while, good thing to because Kuwabara obeyed the kitsune and ran over to the other side of the bridge.

Out of the flames and darkness to the side of the bridge came- DUN DUN DUUNNNNN!

Ansem, who is supposed to be playing the Belrog (so we gave him some 50ft platforms).

" Ladies and Gentlemen" Ben shouted with a megaphone, " Ansem-sama from Kingdom Hearts!"

Before Tsukasa could run out to Yoko, Bear grabbed her (non pervert I might add).

Yoko took out his rose whip once again. And Ansem took out the standard issue flame and darkness whip.

" Copy me will you!" Yoko shouted, " SHINU!"

Yoko then sliced the bridge in half and down tumbled the King of Darkness.

" WAHHHHHHHHH" screamed Ansem and then added, " )42k/\/355!" (translation: Darkness!)

" J35!" Ben (our temp-director) shouted, " 4 /\/\45732 0ph l33t!" (translation: YES! A Master of l33t!)

" Ok that is getting really annoying" Yoko said.

Just then, Ben got really pissed at Yoko and a sake bottle at the kitsune. Yoko managed to deflect the bottle but still lost his balance and fell over.

" YOUR NEXT PRAIRIE DOG!" Yoko shouted while falling.

" Damn..." Ben said, "Now I am on the same death list as Kato"

And that is the end of a long chapter nine...


	10. Aerith's fortune cookies of DOOM

Disclaimer: The story you are reading was made for entertainment purposes only. The only character(s) I claim right to in this fanfiction are: Holly Slyvina and Haru. All other characters are appearing because I felt like it. All stage hands are friends who I asked to on crew. If you are still reading this, I pity you...

I also do not own Metallica

Anyway folks, here's the latest chapter of Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings. Sorry I took so long to post, I've been busy with other things.

* * *

Chapter the tenth- Aerith's fortune cookies of DOOM (or is it Aeris...bah who cares!)

* * *

So we now join the eight walkers,...who decided to jog into what we call Lorien (or the golden forest). Since Yoko "died", they were going to have to go the super secret way. 

Kuwabara is busy singing some Metallica song.

" DAMMIT BAKA" Bear shouted to Kuwabara, " Were supposed to be incognito! And do you have some sort of speech!"

" Etto..." Kuwabara mumbled, " Nope" (etto- well)

Everyone on and off stage let out a groan. Kato was now back were she belonged and was sitting on her respective directors chair.

Unfortunately, Yoko was standing right next to Kato and had put his rose whip around her neck (like a noose).

" I hate you.." Kato sobbed, " I hate you so much.."

Because of everyone's bickering or Kato's sobbing, a group of people came out and pointed various weapons at the eight walkers. Their leader was Squall.

" It's Leon" Squ- I mean Leon said, " And what are you people doing in our forest?"

" Were here for protection" Inuyasha responded, " And ramen, yes...lots of ramen"

"We gotta turn back!" Tsukasa said, for he..or she was afraid of these new people.

" You cannot turn back...Lady Aerith is waiting for you" Leon said

So the eight were lead to the main city. They were lead up a flight of stairs and the whole city gave off an eerie glow. All thanks to the radioactive hamster cream mentioned in chapter three.

The eight stood before two very important people. Lord Mirkou and Lady Aerith, leader of the High Elven people of Lorien. (everyone cheer!)

Cloud held up a sign that was directed to Mirkou. It read _" Touch Aerith and I will ruin your chances of having a heir_". Mirkou gulped with fear and began his small speech.

" Let's see head count. Ichi...ni...san," Lord Mirkou said and counted to himself, " There's only eight of you here...where's the really smart one?"

" Poor Yoko-sama" Lady Aerith said in a somber tone, " He died because Benji had to throw something at him"

Ben (off stage) gave a nervous laugh and Yoko slowly looked over at him.

" That was you!" Yoko said

" Well duh I mean he was sitting on MY chair and I -AUGHHHH!" Kato began to say but then was quickly silenced by a correctional tightening of the noose.

And the scene continues...

" You all must pull together and fight off evil" Lady Aerith said, " Or...you will fail and this world will fall to the darkness."

( "OH HAPPY DAYS!" Ansem shouted while dancing)

This of course did not put everyone's minds at ease. So Lady Aerith said something more comforting.

" Go now and rest" Lady Aerith said.

Later, everyone was resting. Kagome and Inuyasha were busy drinking some fresh mineral water. In the background, Chop Suey by System of a Down was playing.

Everyone gave Kato _The Look_. " What?" Kato said, " It was the best funeral song I had"

" It's a good song" Kagome commented as Inuyasha listened to the lyrics.

A few hours later, Kato was chatting with Aerith.

" So...how was the afterlife?" Kato asked Aerith.

" It was fine" Aerith said, " But I couldn't really enjoy it that much because CLOUD KEPT SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!"

" I said I was sorry!" Cloud said off stage.

Kato signaled that the movie was to continue and she ran off set. Tsukasa entered in via stage right.

" Hullo Lady Aerith" Tsukasa chimed.

" Hi Tsukasa" Lady Aerith said informally to Tsukasa, " Would you like to look into this seemingly harmless mirror. It gives out fortunes"

" Cool!" Tsukasa said and walked up to the mirror.

" O-negai, five cents" Aerith asked. (Onegai means please)

Tsukasa gave Aerith a nickel and she threw it in. Words appeared on the mirrors surface, like it was magic 8 ball.

" _Trust a few, fear the rest- The X-Men_" Aerith read.

" So...just trust mah homies" Tsukasa said, being the gangsta that he is.

" Straight-tripping boo!" Aerith said...sounding like a white girl from uptown. Aerith herself threw in a nickel and the words appeared.

" _Better watch your back- quote Sephiroth_" Aerith read and then commented, " That's funny, I don't remember him saying that.."

Sephiroth appeared behind Aerith and breathed down on her neck.

O.O!- This was Aerith's facial expression as she felt the icy cold presence of death right behind her. With a shing and a slicing/stabbing sound, Sephiroth had stabbed Aerith...again.

" NOOOOOOOOO" Cloud shouted out loud and ran over to his beloved.

Everyone else however began to sing:

" _Ding-dong the witch is dead! Which ol' witch? The wicked witch! Ding Dong with wicked witch is dead!"_

" MAKE THEM STOP!" Cloud sobbed liked a little cry baby to Kato.

Kato was busy clapping along. " It's a catchy tune!" she said and hugged Sephiroth, " Arigatõ gozaimasu Sephiroth-dono!"

"...Don't touch me" Sephiroth said to the authoress.

" Oh Aerith you've died again!" Cloud managed to say before bursting into tears.

Just then, Aerith sat up " Actually, the stab wasn't fatal"

" What?" Cloud said

" Nani!" Sephiroth shouted.

The whole set (and possibly the entire world) joined in saying: "WHAAAA?"

Aerith stood up and dusted herself off, " I think I might pull through. I'M ALIVE AND I LOVE IT!"

" Hurray!" Cloud shouted, " Aerith is alive!"

" yay..." the whole set said dully.

Kato immediately slugged Sephiroth in the arm " DAMMIT SEPHIROTH YOUR LOOSING YOUR TOUCH!" she shouted.

Sephiroth immediately wailed out, " NO-O-O!" and fell into a fettle possition and began to hyper ventilate.

* * *

And so...that is chapter the tenth. I hope you enjoyed it. 

Next time on ACLOTR's- Another big fight sequence!


	11. were a third of the way done

Disclaimer- Let's start with the things I do own. I own Holly Slyvina and Haru. So if you steal them, I will be so freakin' pissed. I do not own any of the anime/games you see in this fanfiction and I also do not own the Lord of the Rings.

* * *

Chapter Eleven- were one third of the way done

* * *

We now join Tsukasa, Rini, Shippo, Karou, Bear, Kagome, Kuwabara and Inu-...wait...we can't seem to find Inuyasha anywhere... 

Just then, Inuyasha ran out onto the set after a brief trip to the bathroom.

" Ok time for your goodie bags before you leave!" Lady Aerith said with a smile on her face.

Kato, who was not in a good mood, merely nodded to Sephiroth who was right near Lady Aerith. Sephiroth got into his battojutsu stance.

" EEp!" Lady Aerith gave a quick squeak and then gave a small jar to Tsukasa, " I give you the light of...er...end...deal"

" Muchas Gracias Senorita Rosa!" Tsukasa said with great enthusiasm

" Excellenté Senorita Tsukasa" Lady Aerith praised her Spanish I student.

" SENIOR!" Tsukasa shouted, " DAMMIT I AM A GUY!"

" Er...right a guy" Lady Aerith said, " We will start with lesson 8 next time. Class dismissed"

So the eight, picked up their Spanish I text books and left for their journey on their small boats. All of the boats happened to be named-

"-Titanic?" Rini read one of the tiny boats and the group looked over at the director.

" Hey, I'm not made of money" Kato said, " So either take the boats or swim..."

Everyone decided to use the boats. The first boat was occupied by Inuyasha, Tsukasa and Karou. The second was occupied with Rini, Shippo and Bear. The third by Kagome and Kuwabara. And so everyone went on their merry little way.

" Thank God.." Lady Aerith sighed.

" Classy boat.." Inuyasha said. He stood on the ledge of the boat and shouted, " I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!"

" NOT YET! SIT!" Kagome shouted at the half-dog demon.

Inuyasha crashed through the hull of the small, wooden boat and now..the boat was sinking. Everyone panicked and managed to crash land on the shore of some place called Anon Hen. I have no idea what the place was before it crumbled. But it looked so cool in the Lord of the Rings video game!

* * *

Meanwhile at the 3vil tower- 

We now join Queen Beryl, who is having tryouts for her army. Today's try outs are for the General's position. Whoever becomes General of the Dark Army will have 10,000 youma at their dispense.

Beryl was sitting at a desk with her two top henchmen ( Malachite/Kunzite and Zoisite). They were the judges.

" So why do you think you should be the General of my Army?" Queen Beryl asked the first contestant.

" Cause I'm good at following orders ya?" Wakka answered back and was immediately killed by Zoisite.

The second contestant was none other then Sephiroth.

" I was the General of Solider for a few years" Sephiroth said and strikes a pose.

Holly then walked in a dragged the still stuck in pose demi-god out of the room. Beryl let out a frustrated groan.

" Were never gonna find an Evil General for my Evil army!" Beryl said.

" Well what are you looking for?" Malachite/Kunzite asked his Queen.

" Someone who is evil" Beryl said, " Who is evil enough to kill the right people but obedient enough to listen to me...and looks sexy!"

Just then, Riku walked in. He was busy doing his summer job as a pizza delivery guy.

" Uh yeah I have an order for a medium, pepperoni pizza" Riku said.

" That's the one.." Beryl said and stood up. She dramatically pointed to the 16-17 year old boy and said, " YOU!". Riku let out a gasp and before you know it, he was led down a path of darkness once again.

* * *

Back with the company- 

Everyone was busy drying themselves off. Inuyasha was mumbling something to himself.

" Urge to kill...rising!" Inuyasha said.

" SIT!" Kagome shouted and Inuyasha slammed to the ground.

" Let's just set up camp" Bear groaned.

So everyone began to set up camp and nobody noticed that the most important person of the group was missing.

" Hell, even I forgot who was missing" Kato said, dazed.

" Lay off the drugs Kato" Ben said to the director.

Anyway, it was Tsukasa who was missing. He(or she) went out for a walk alone. As Tsukasa was walking, Maha appeared behind the wavemaster.

Maha opened her mouth and sounded like she was talking. But you could not hear the cat player.

" No Maha" Tsukasa said, " I will not use the ring to rob a bank"

Tsukasa then accidentally tripped over a rock and fell into some mud. Maha opened her mouth to say something. But again, you could only hear silence.

" Yes Maha" Tsukasa said sarcastically, " I like wearing mud"

Maha quickly bowed and dissapered. After a moment or so, Bear walked in.

" You shouldn't be wandering alone" Bear said while he gathered some wood.

" Just leave me alone.." Tsukasa said in his(or her) usual whining style.

" Um..Tsukasa-chan?" Bear said, " C-can I have the Ring?"

" No.." Tsukasa answered.

That 'No' really hurt Bear. He was always so nice to Tsukasa. Always looking out for the poor coma patient. Always remembering to say _" Hi Tsukasa, how's it going?" _or _" Hey Tsukasa, put down that flamethrower your gonna burn yourself". _So, Bear's following actions although they were uncalled for, would be considered normal-...jeez I'm rambling on and on..

Bear attacked Tsukasa and nearly killed the inexperienced wavemaster. Of course, since Bear was about Level 74 and Tsukasa was at least Level 3...lets just say that Tsukasa was now bleeding from the nose and had a broken arm.

Stagehands Holly, Haru and Sephiroth ran on stage and restrained Bear from killing Tsukasa.

" It's ok, s'ok" Bear said, " I'm coo. I'm cool"

It looked as if Bear had calmed down, so Haru and Holly loosened up on holding Bear. But then Bear went berserk again and lunged for Tsukasa. This time, all three plus Ben and Yoko (who's not supposed to be scene for another few chapters) effectively restrained Bear.

" You might wanna get out of here kid" Holly said after punching Bear in the face.

Tsukasa gave out a MEEP and put on the ring. Tsukasa ran away as fast as possible and imitated Zoidberg from Futurama.

* * *

Inuyasha, meanwhile was walking around while eating his 10:40 p.m. bowl of Ramen noodles. This meals flavor was Teriyaki Chicken. 

"YAHH!"

" Huh?" Inuyasha said and looked around.

Tsukasa crashed into Inuyasha, who was sobbing.

" That's it!" Tsukasa said, " I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm sick of getting a heart attack. I'm sick of being picked on. I'm sick of the armies of darkness coming after me!"

Tsukasa lost it. The poor wavemaster just wanted to be at peace. Inuyasha fortunately had dealt with the numerous times Kagome had cried, so he had something prepared for this occasion. Inuyasha took out a sheet of paper that had a speech on it and crossed out Kagome's name and put Tsukasa's instead.

" Don't worry Tsukasa" Inuyasha said as nice as possible, " Will finish the task"

" Really?" Tsukasa asked while drying his(or her) tears.

" Yeah" Inuyasha said while reading his speech, " Soon, we'll get all the shards of the Shikon jewel"

" Huh?" Tsukasa asked.

" Oh wait sorry" Inuyasha and crossed out the Shikon Jewel reference and wrote something about the Ring, " You'll send the Ring back to where it belongs."

" Can I do it alone?" Tsukasa asked.

" Go for it!" Inuyasha said and smiled.

" Thank you Inuyasha!" Tsukasa said and hugged the hanyou.

" How heart warming" Riku said

With all the screaming, shouting, poking and punching from before, the Youma army(led by the most Kawaii Riku from Kingdom Hearts) was right behind Inuyasha and Tsukasa.

" Hey Tsukasa?" Inuyasha mumbled to the wavemaster.

" Ya"

" Start running" Inuyasha said.

Tsukasa then ran away as fast as he(or she) could. Inuyasha began to fight off the youma army as Riku disappeared into a portal of darkness.

And so the battle began and everyone was aware of the Youma's in the vicinity.

" Come Rini!" Shippo said, " Let's get into trouble!"

Rini and Shippo ran off to go and get Tsukasa. They see a group of Youma and Rini took out her transformation broach.

" Moon Prism Power- Make Up!" Rini shouted and transformed into Sailor Chibi Moon.

Everyone gave Kato a weird look.

" Hey" Kato said, " I love the Japanese dub of Sailor Moon. If you don't like it, you can go fu-"

At this point, Holly covered Kato's mouth.

" A proper authoress don't use such bad language!" Holly scolded her master.

Anyway, Sailor Chibi Moon and Shippo were trying to fight off the Youma, but unfortunately, they were very inexperienced. One of the Youma charged at the two and it looked like it was going to be the end.

But then-

Bear charged right in and saved the two from death. Bear immediately killed the Youma and gained a level.

" Woo level 75!" Bear said while doing a victory dance, " Life is awesome!"

Then, who should appear but Riku. (Sephiroth is busy pouting because he didn't get the Youma General job).

" Time to rain on your lil' parade" Riku said and took out his keyblade,

Riku stabbed Bear with his Darkness Keyblade " Now Open your heart to Darkness!", he said.

Bear stood up after being stabbed, completely unharmed. " I'm ok!" he said while smiling.

Riku then stabbed Bear again, there was still no effect. After an hour of stabbing Bear and trying to open is heart to Darkness, nothing worked. And Bear was so busy showing off his inability to not die, that Rini and Shippo were kidnapped!

" ARGH! WHY WON'T YOU DIE!" Riku shouted at Bear.

Just then, Kite from ./hack gated in. " Hey try this" Kite said and handed Riku the Twilight Bracelet.

" Sw33t!" Riku said and put on the Twilight Bracelet. He copied Kite with the whole Data Drain deal and attacked Bear. Bear went comatose and died.

" Cool!" Kite said, " Now give it back"

" I got a better idea" Riku said and stabbed Kite with his keyblade. Poor Kite then became a Kite-Heartless.

Just then, Inuyasha walked in and saw a dear Bear, a Kite-Heartless and Riku.

" Ok" Inuyasha said, " Which one of you whelps killed Bear?"

Riku and Kite-Heartless looked at each other and shouted, " HE DID!". The two then ran off into a portal of DARKNESS!. And somewhere in the ninth ring of hell, Ansem gave a small sob.

" sniffle, That's my Riku!" Ansem said and dried his tears, proud of his ex-subordinate.

* * *

Later, the remaining three (Kagome, Inuyasha and Kuwabara) were sending Bear down the river. 

" Why must the good die so young?" Kagome sniffled.

"...so..." Kuwabara said, " Should we go rescue Rini and Shippo"

Kagome and Inuyasha's face froze into a horrified expression. Why you ask?

Because it was the smartest thing Kuwabara said since the fanfiction started.

" My God.." Kagome said, " Your right..."

"Let's go find the two useless whelps!"

Tsukasa stood on a ledge near the river. Karou appeared right behind the wavemaster and stuck her fingers in his mouth to force Tsukasa to smile.

" C'mon Mr.Grumpy!" Karou said, " We got a job to do!"

" Huh?" Tsukasa said.

" Ya we gotta put send that ring to hell!" Karou said.

Tsukasa was amazed, he never thought anyone else in the group would have thought of the Ring as _their_ burden. Tsukasa gave a small smile.

" Yeah" Tsukasa said, " Let's go to Mt. Doom!"

* * *

So to recap the entire first movie in a sparknote worthy page- 

Yoko- "dead" (notice the nifty finger quotes). Shippo- Prisoner of War. Rini- Ditto

Bear- Data drained at level 75. Kite- now a heartless. Riku- escaped Inuyasha's wraith. Inuyasha- eating ramen. Kagome- studying for next's weeks big math exam. Kuwabara- raising his IQ (gasp). Karou- aiding Tsukasa. Tsukasa- taking the Ring to Mordor.

Sephiroth- Plotting to take over the world. Haru- drunk. Holly- very drunk and still able to kick ass.

Finally, Kato Shingetsu- despite Yoko's death threats she is still alive and writing.

The cost of two compostion note books was 4.00$.

But you know what, making this fanficiton is priceless

End Book/Movie one

* * *

_Dear Readers,_

_It is the end of book one. I am glad to have planned and written this parody of the Lord of the Rings._

_At this time, I wish to thank Vicki, Gayle (a.k.a- Tsubasa3), and Benji-Otouto-chan for giving me the ideas._

_I finished writing this on September the 7th, 2004 and it has taken me more then a year to post. _

_Let's see if I can put the second one out a little bit faster._

_Love from,_

_Kato Shingetsu_


	12. The Anti Kato Shingetsu Club

It's time for the next installment of everybody's favorite parody!-

Anime Character's do the Lord of the Rings! (everybody cheer!)

Disclaimer: I own Holly and Haru...everything else is...well not mine. BUT I WANT SEPHIROTH!

" So do I!" Holly shouts and Haru gives a crestfallen look.

Chapter Twelve: The Anti Kato Shingetsu Club (it's out there...)

Last time on Yu Yu Hakush- no wait is this Inuya- gawd...last time on whatever anime show you what this to be. (I say Yu Yu Hakusho)

Yoko Kurama was falling down the abyss of DARKNESS! Ansem was falling with him.

" DARKNESS! MUWHAHAHAHAH!" Ansem shouted with glee.

" Do you have to do that every five minutes?" Yoko asked.

" Hey were going to be falling foe a very long time" Ansem shot back.

" For how long?"

" About...20 more minutes" Ansem answered.

" THAT STUPID WRITER!" Yoko shouted.

" You hate Kato Shingetsu as well?" Ansem asked.

Yoko then pulled out a voodoo doll of Kato Shingetsu. The doll had needles sticking in it's legs, arms and hands.

" Hey let's start a hate club!" Ansem said

" So much hate over me...T.T" Kato said while sobbing.

And so, the two survived the 20 minute fall. What would you expect, one is the King of Darkness and the other is a Fox Demon (this sounds like the summary of an odd couple like sh-

" DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT SHINGETSU!" Ansem shouted at Kato.

" Save your breath" Kato said, " I have better things to write about...like this!"

Anyway, the two established The Anti Kato Shingetsu Club. Joining members were: Riku, Flamer #1025, Aya from Ceres Celestial Legend and Ben the muse/ stagehand/ TRAITOR WHO WILL DIE!

" Meep!" Ben squeaked with a sad face, " I'm so abused"

" Awww" Aya cooed and comforted the Prairie dog anthro.

Subliminal Message: Cookie Elves

Tsukasa woke up with a jump and screamed, " WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". Karou woke up as well with a jump and went over to Tsukasa.

" Are you alright Tsukasa-san?" Karou said.

" I had the scariest dream that Yoko died" Tsukasa wept.

" But Tsukasa" Karou said, " Yoko did 'die'. It was about 3-4 chapters back"

Tsukasa looked down at the ground with a sad face. Karou then said something that was supposed to be very inspiring.

" Cheer up Tsukasa!" Karou said and smiled, " Just remember, one day you'll experience a painful and bloody death like Yoko did"

Tsukasa had the absolute look of horror on his face (0.0!). Karou kissed him on the forehead, said good night, and left Tsukasa frozen in fear as he thought about all the painful ways one could die on this journey.

The Next day-

Tsukasa and Karou were walking on the road to Mordor. It was nothing but stones, cold and sighs...darkness-

" YAY DARKNESS!" Ansem shouted from a distance.

" WILL SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP!" Kato shouted.

Anyway, the point of it all is this- Spirits were low. It was then, that Karou noticed something.

The two of them were lost-

"WERE LOST!" Karou said looked at her map. It was really a map-maze from the Akabeko's Chibi-Meal. Karou went through five of those before she successfully got to the end of the map.

" Maybe we should of gotten a real map" Tsukasa commented.

Just then, Tsukasa looked North and saw something that was as scary as hell. It was Sesshomaru's eye.

"How we got it was quite easy; we took a knife and g-" Kato began to say, but was cut off by Holly.

" SHH" Holly said, " Don't tell the audience we decapitate anime bishounen!"

Anyway, the enlarged eye was glaring down at Tsukasa. And the poor wavemaster began to suffer another heart attack. Tsukasa began to punch his chest a few times.

" Man your health insurance must be expensive" Karou said

Tsukasa nodded a few times while gasping for air.

" Maybe it's the Lembas bread" Karou commented.

Tsukasa and Karou were dreaming of sugar plum fairies. They were dancing in the their heads. But then, a dark, gangly creature was crawling down from the cliff that the two were sleeping under.

T'was Aki (a.k.a.- Mikage), from Ceres Celestial Legend. And Mikage (the dark side of Aki) was pretty pissed off.

" You kids are so gonna pay for stealing my ring" Mikage said while crawling down.

Tsukasa and Karou heard this, and they pounced on Mikage. Mikage kicked, jabbed and screamed, trying to get away from the two. But Tsukasa took out his cheap plastic sword and held it against Mikage's throat.

" Either you come quietly with us" Tsukasa said, " Or I'll stab you"

The stagehands were snickering like crazy. But it didn't matter. Mikage submitted.

And so now, Karou and Tsukasa were dragging Mikage threw the barren desert.

" AW C'MON LET ME GO!" Mikage screamed, " I wasn't gonna kill you I was just gonna make it so you couldn't breathe anymore"

" That's the same thing!" Karou shouted.

" Busu.." Mikage grumbled. (translation: ugly)

Just before Karou could throttle Mikage, Tsukasa stepped in and asked-

" Do you know the way to Mordor?"

" huh...uh yes!" Mikage said, " Yes indeed I do!"

" Take us there and we won't kill you" Karou said

" Deal!"

Next time-

um...I forgot what happens next. None the less enjoy!


	13. How to operate your Palenthier

Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, do not own any of the anime/videogame characters, movie/book(i.e- Lord of the Rings) based characters, or anything of the sort stated within. I, Kato Shingetsu, claim ownership to Holly Belladonna Slyvina and Haru the Sabaku-Kitsune Youkai. I, Kato Shingetsu, claim no ownership to any of the muses in this story. So Ben, Jimmy, Steven: Go grab a soda and read.

This chapter contains various references to Ringu. Please know that Koji Suzuki owns Ringu/The Ring and that he rocks!

I had to watch a bit of The Two Towers to find placement for all of the scenes. So let's see how well I did.

* * *

Chapter 13- How to operate your Palenthier.

* * *

So after leaving Tsukasa, Karou and Aki to the miserable DOOM, we will now join Shippo and Rini. The two were on the backs of some Youma of Beryl's army.

" WHEEEE GO FASTER!" Rini shouted.

" WILL SOMEBODY SHUT HER UP!" Riku shouted.

So Rini was punished by having duck tape put on her mouth. Because nobody likes Rini.

" Tru dat" Shippo commented about the statement made above.

" Ok your next" Riku grumbled to Shippo

Anyway-

Inuyasha was busy sniffing the ground. Two people were waiting for Inuyasha's status report. The two were Kagome and Kuwabara. It had been a week since the three had seen their two "hobbit" friends.

" There that way" Inuyasha said pointing west, " About a day's trip ahead...maybe more"

" Alright let's go" Kuwabara said.

The two began to sprint but then stopped when they noticed that Kagome wasn't following.

Kagome was to busy studying for a math exam.

" _Ok so if you combine the two angles on a vertical plane" _Kagome said to herself (a/n: No I have no idea what the hell I just wrote...I am not good with math)

So, Inuyasha and Kuwabara had to drag Kagome around to Rohan.

Meanwhile in the dark tower thingy...wait it's coming to me...IZU...wait I mean Isenguard.

" Here's how you remember" Ben said to Kato, " Izu is from the Japanese version of the Ring. Isenguard doesn't rhyme with Ringu...get it"

" Ok that works" Kato nodded.

" Your all weird" Sephiroth said and walked away.

Anyway, Beryl (who I absolutely refuse to call Queen Beryl) was busy trying to contact Sesshomaru.

" Let's see" Beryl said picking up her orb manual, " _How to operate a Palantheir...To make a call; say person's name, followed by the word call_"

" Doesn't seem to complicated" Beryl said and tried it out, " Call Sesshomaru"

The Palenthier heard a different name and said-

" Calling- Sadako Yamamura" The Palenthier responded and then began to dial Sadako's number

" Oh hell no I don't want to talk to that loser" Beryl said.

It was too late, Sadako picked up the phone-

" Sadako's base, I won't stop till every human is dead!" Sadako said happily, " This is Sadako how can I kill you?"

" H-H-Hey Sadako-sama!" Beryl said, " This is Queen Beryl. Um...how's it going in the well?"

There was a brief silence.

"...oh it's fine I guess" Sadako said, " But ever since the American version of the Ring came out...people have been busy talking to Samara...It's like nobody cares about me anymore..sniffle"

" Well that's too bad-" Queen Beryl said but was then cut off by Sadako.

" I mean, I'm a nice person" Sadako said, " I volunteer at an animal shelter on the weekends. But noooo, because I have a Japanese name, I'm not mentioned in the American version"

" Don't forget that your a hermaphrodite" Queen Beryl commented

There was another brief silence between the two callers.

"-your gonna die in se-" Sadako began to say.

But then Beryl hung up on the Japanese psychotic psychic and was absolutely shaken.

" C-can we go to the next scene? Please?" Beryl asked the director.

" Ok sure" Kato said

So, we leave Beryl to hide in her tower. We now go to some village in Rohan, Middle Earth, Area code 00023. The small village was being attacked. We were gonna have that "heartwarming" scene between a mother and her two chldren. But nobody cares about that part. So instead it was going to be destroyed by Sephiroth's Meteor-

" WHO'S BEEN MESSING WITH THE SCRIPT?" Kato shouted, " C'MON I DID NOT PUT TH-"

Before Kato could finish bitching, Sephiroth jumped out on stage and summoned Meteor. The Meteor came down and obliterated the town.

Ben and Jimmy came out from behind a protection wall. Both of their hair was blown back because of the force of Meteor's impact.

" Dude" Jimmy said, " That was awesome"

Anyway, we now join a group of people who have been yet to introduced to this madness that we call a fanfiction. They could simply be named "The Drive-By Gang". Why? Because they specialized in Drive-By's. They were led by a one Yusuke Uramsehi, who's supposed to be playing as Eomer. Yusuke was second in command of Drive-By. The first in command was Cloud Strife, who is being Theodred.

Unfortunately, Cloud had been seriously injured in a fight and was now being carried into a hospital ward.

" That was by far" Yusuke said, " The coolest stunt ever!"

" Yeah" Cloud said and coughed, " Who knew I could swallow glass"

The two guys were joined by Sango, Yusuke's "sister"

" Cloud-san" Sango said, " How are you feeling?"

" Every waking moment is agonizing now that my beloved Aerith is dead!" Cloud wailed in pain

Sango looked off set to see Aerith (alive) shrugging her shoulders. She had that "_I'm still alive_" look.

" I'm really sorry to hea-" Sango began to say, but was then cut off by Cloud.

"-Dead because that pretty boy Sephiroth had to stab her!" Cloud wailed even louder, "If only I had pulled her out of the way!"

Cloud broke down in sobs. Even though if he looked straight ahead, Cloud could clearly see that Aerith was truly alive. But alas, Cloud is too stupid to look up and see his love.

As Cloud was babbling on about Aerith, Yusuke motioned to a nurse to give Cloud an morphine shot. Yusuke and Sango walked out as the nurse prepared the shot. Then, the unthinkable happened. The nurse pulled a zipper-rip tick (a/n- like those pepsi commercials) and the nurse revealed herself to be Jaken.

0.o...I know, disturbing.

Very, very disturbing...

* * *

Next Time- Somebody is scene...

oh and I know that Sango is not related to Yusuke. I personally am against made-up characters who are related to main characters. I don't like it. It just seems to...Mary-Sue-ish.

Oh and Happy Halloween everyone!


	14. Sano saves the day

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings. I do not own any anime or video game you see in this fanfiction. I own Holly and Haru. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are in this story cause they are my muses.

To everyone who has read- Thank you for your love and support. To everyone who will read- I shan't let you down.

Last time on Rohan 9-1-1:

There was an ER call when Cloud was taken to the hospital. Cloud, in sheer hysteria, was left alone with a nurse. But the nurse ended up being Jaken...which is VERY disturbing...

* * *

Chapter 14- Sano Saves the Day

* * *

The next morning-

Sango walked into the hospital to check in on Cloud. Sango wouldn't admit it to anyone else on the cast, but she really was beginning to like Cloud.

Cloud with his spiked-up blond hair and his tough attitude. Sango let out a small sigh and opened the door to Cloud's room.

Off stage, Holly and Ben were holding back Tifa and Aeris from destroying Sango.

" BUT SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THE VIDEO GAME!" Tifa cried out.

" It's not fair!" Aeris shouted.

" Now, now" Holly said, " Don't worry. I'm sure Sango's just really taking her acting career seriously...which is quite refreshing for a change, ne Otouto-chan?"

" Huh...?" Ben said, " Oh yeah! Right...Sango's performance is good"

Anyway, Sango walked in and saw a blanket over Cloud's have. Sango pulled the blanket off and saw Cloud's pale face with a frightened to death facial expression (a'la Ringu)

" Who could have done this?" Sango said, enraged.

Sango then saw a note clenched in Cloud's dead hand. Sango pried it from Cloud's hand and read:

_To whom it may concern,_

_I, Cloud Strife, was just poisoned by Jaken. Jaken is working for Beryl, who is working for Sesshomaru._

_There's something I must say before I died...there has always been one lady in my life who I've loved. And her name is-_

The letter at that point was cut off, indicating that Cloud had died. Everyone, on and off stage was in sheer shock because the letter was left unfinished.

" So who does Cloud love more?" Kato said and then started to shake Jimmy, " I MUST KNOW!"

" Calm down Kato" Ben said and pried Jimmy away from her, " Remember, your a Clarith fan (CloudxAerith/Aeris)?"

Kato blinked her eyes and then laughed, " Your right!". Aerith gave a small cheer while Tifa contemplated killing Kato.

Later at the Fool's Gold-en Hall:

Sando was presenting her case to Koenma, king of the horse tamers...or something like that. Koenma was now in his adult form and was wearing a gray wig and beard. Yusuke was sitting off to the side because he was playing as the jury for this case.

" Damn community service!" Yusuke grumbled to himself

Sango stood up and began her lawer-like speech, " Ladies and Gentlemen of the court." Sango said, " um...Yusuke...and your honorable Koenma-sama. I would like to bring to your attention that your son is dead"

Koenma looked as if he wasn't paying attention. In fact, the wig was covering his eyes.

" M-my lord?" Sango said and walked up to Koenma . She found out that Koenma was sleeping.

" Grrrr..." Sango snapped her fingers in Koenma's face, " WAKE UP!"

Koenma still wouldn't wake up. So, Sango decided to pour ice cold water on top of Koenma.

" WAHHHHHH!" Koenma shouted waking up in a flash, "COLD COLD COOOLD!"

" GOOD NOW PAY ATTENTION!" Sango shouted enraged, " YOUR SON HAS DIED DAMMIT!"

" Wait...what?" Koenma asked

" Your...son..is...dead" Sango said slowly.

"...I had a son?" Koenma asked

Sango and Yusuke gave out a loud groan. " This is gonna be a long day" Yusuke said to himself.

Five hours later-

After going thought countless eye witnesses, a surveillance camera playback, a short coffee brake and a showing of the 1987 Oscars, Koenma finally reached a verdict.

" I hear by find the accused not guilty" Koenma said and banged a gavel on the table.

" WHAT?" Sango and Yusuke shouted simultaneously.

Jaken slowly walked over to Koenma and bowed.

" Be he killed Cloud!" Sango shouted

" Yeah well, Cloud wasn't a good child" Koenma said, " He was quasi-evil, semi evil, the Tofu of evil. Cloud was the diet coke of evil"

" Screw this" Yusuke said and walked out.

" Fine" Jaken said, " Your banished!"

And so

Yusuke and a bunch of extras went off riding. They spent the night attacking a Youma party.

It was 8:00 a.m the next day when the drive by gang took off north. As Yusuke rode, he heard a voice.

" Oh my God!" Kagome shouted, " They trampled over Kuwabara!"

" You bastards!" Inuyasha shouted.

So Yusuke signaled to surround the three.

" What are you three doing here?" Yusuke asked

" Nothing" Inuyasha, Kuwabara and Kagome said all together.

" Nothing...or something" Yusuke said.

" Fine smart-ass" Inuyasha said, " Were looking for a few of our friends. They were kidnapped by Youma"

" We thought you guys were spies for that white demon thing in the forest" Yusuke said.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

Everyone gave an odd look because of the dramatic sound effect.

" What the hell...anyway" Yusuke said to the three, " We burned the bodies last night so there wouldn't be any evidence...does that solve your problems?"

" No" The three answered.

" T.S!" Yusuke said, " Go check the site anyway. Were going north now...don't follow us"

So as Yusuke and his gang rode off, Kagome, Kuwabara and Inuyasha walked over to the burning site.

Nothing was left alive. Inuyasha let out a scream of agony...then, his nose kicked in.

" Demo..." Inuyasha said and got down on his knees. He began to sniff the ground, " Shippo and Rini...there still alive"

" WHAT!" Kagome said.

" Yeah" Inuyasha said and sniffed the ground again, " They went..sniff that way"

Inuyasha pointed to the Forbidden Forest.

" Why d'ya suppose they went in there?" Kuwabara asked.

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED!

Rini and Shippo ran off into the forest while the Drive-By Gang fought the Youma. Yusuke never even saw Rini and Shippo in the first place. Rini dropped to her knees, she was very tired.

" C'mon Rini!" Shippo said, " We gotta keep moving"

But then, they heard a Youma was coming near.

" You miserable little punks!" the Youma said, " I am gonna slice you up!"

This threat gave Rini a bit more strength to run. Shippo led Rini to a tree and made her climb it. After Rini was at a safe distance, Shippo began to climb. Shippo checked the area to see that the Youma wasn't in view.

" Were safe" Shippo sighed in relief.

But then, the Youma came out of nowhere and grabbed Shippo. Shippo was yanked to the ground and the Youma placed a sword on his neck.

" Shinu" The Youma said.

" SHIPPO!" Rini shouted

Just then, something slid past Rini, landed on the ground and pounded the Youma flat.

" You kids really shouldn't be walking about this forest" the guy said.

" Who are you?" Rini said as she cautiously got out of the tree.

" The names Sano" the guy said, " I'm a fighter for hire"

" Well thanks Mr.Sano" Shippo said.

The two were about to walk away when Sano cleared his throat.

" I believe there is the matter of paying me" Sano said

" But were just kids!" Rini said, " Were broke"

"Fine then!" Sano said and picked the two up, " Then I'm taking you to my friend"

The two were dropped off in front of the last person you would ever expect to see

* * *

Next time on ACLOTR's!

hurray...we all know what happens...


	15. Kato's got problems

Disclaimer: I don't own the Lord of the Rings or any of the anime/game characters you see within this fanficiton. I own Holly and Haru. The muses Ben, Jimmy and Steven appear cause I made them- HAHAHAHH!

* * *

Chapter 15- Kato's got problems

* * *

We now rejoin Tsukasa, Karou and Aki (Mikage) Aki was leading the two to the doom that was Mordor. Now only where there Youma, Heartless and the occasional Sephiroth sighting in Mordor. There was also the Lord of Mt.Doom!

Saro-

" This is _Anime _characters do the Lord of the Rings" Kato said to the announcer.

Right, Sesshomaru...

" Ahem" Kato said

Sigh...Sesshomaru-sama.

Any whom, we all know that Sauron didn't get a lot of screen time in LotR's (and possibly for a good reason).

But this is ACLotR, so were gonna give the fan-girls what they want.

" YAY!" Kato squealed from her chair and kicked her legs. Everyone else let out a sigh at Kato's fan-girls attitude.

At Sesshomaru's tower:

Sesshomaru was using the palentier to make a call.

" Hello?" Sesshomaru said, " Is this Prosthetic Limb Replacement INC"

There was a pause.

" This is Sesshomaru" he said, " This Sesshomaru placed an order for a prosthetic arm three years ago...No it still hasn't come in...This Sesshomaru has paid you seven times! Don't put this Sesshomaru on hold!"

Alas! They put Sesshomaru on hold anyway. So fan-girls, don't attack this Kato Shingetsu. Attack the PLRinc. They won't give Sesshomaru-sama an arm.

" Now! Lets go back to Tsukasa, Karou and Mikage who are going to destroy the ring!" Kato shouted.

" Wh-" Sesshomaru began to say, but we cut him off.

Back with Tsukasa, Karou and Aki:

Aki finally led the two out of the kills.

" See" he said, " I told you I'd help!"

" Ok! Fine! You win Mr. Smartass!" Karou shouted and then grumbled something about booze. It was then when Karou stepped into something slimy. " Ewwwwww!"

" What is this place?" Tsukasa asked.

"There called the Dead Marshes" Aki answered.

" We wanted to call them Numachi No Shinda" Kato said, " But out of ph34r of disrespecting Tolkien or his die-hard fans, I decided to leave the name alone"

"...so there're the Dead Marshes?" Tsuakasa said after a few moments.

" Yup!"

" If you jump into the water" Aki said, " ghosts come for your soul"

Karou gave a small gasp of fear. But alas! Tsukasa wasn't listening.

" I'm gonna go for a swim!" Tsukasa said and jumped in.

" YOU IDIOT!" Aki and Karou shouted at the same time.

---

Tsukasa opened his eyes while underwater and saw all of the dead, angry souls coming for him.

" I wonder if their all friendly ghosts?" Tsukasa asked himself

Just before Tsukasa could be pulled down to his water grave, a hand pulled Tsukasa out of harms way.

T'was Aki. Good ol' reliable, insane Aki!

" I told you to follow me.." Aki mumbled.

(a/n: FFVII: Advent Children soundtrack is kickass!)

* * *

Later, everyone was resting for the evening. But Tsukasa was stroking the ring.  
Remember? That's what this whole effin' fanfiction was about! Not bishounen and awesome battles with anime characters! Tsukasa has to destroy the Ring! Otherwise, Sesshomaru will take over the land. Not that I mind though, cause Sesshomaru is damn fine!

" Stop being so fan-girlish Kato!" Ben said, " Your beginning to scare me"

" NEVER!" Kato shouted to her brother-in-arms.

Anyway, back to Tsukasa. Tsukasa was stroking the ring in a caring way. " I love you Edwina" Tsukasa purred, " yes...my Ring Edwina"

" I miss the Ring" Aki said aside, " Aya...yes...I called her Aya..before stupid Elk stole it!"

"huh?" Tsukasa said to Aki

" uh...Go back to sleep Master!" Aki said

Tsukasa walked up to Aki, " So you like any music?" Tsukasa asked.

" Country Western is pretty good" Aki answered, " I once spent 150'000 ¥ at a Suncoast for some cd's"

" Yoko told me about that" Tsukasa reminisced, " Your Aki Mikage, right...and you had a sister named Aya Mikage?"

Aki gave Tsukasa some puppy dog eyes: " I miss being normal!" Aki said and began to bawl his eyes out.

" Your not alone...Aki-chan" Tsukasa said. Aki gave Tsukasa a weak smile, and for a second there, Aki was human again.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!

Karou woke up with a start, " Yoko Ono's in town!" she yelled and hugged her teddy bear for dear life.

((a/n: Yoko Ono was a "singer" from Japan. you could say she's the one responsible for breaking up The Beatles))

" No! Black Riders!" Aki said, " Hide!"

Tsukasa then began to have a seizure. Hey! New story, new illness.

" That's new" Karou said and began to drag Tsukasa away.

So the three hid under a shrubbery and saw something that shocked then.

Akito was riding the dragon...

Ben started to snicker because of the drug refference. " Oh grow up!" Holly said

" Can't you kill these guys?" Karou asked.

" Only with some cheat code...but that's in the videogame!" Aki said and sobbed, " They want Ay- I mean Edwina!"

Tsukasa then let out a meep of fear.

Akito rode off into the night, with nothing to report to Sesshomaru-sama.

* * *

Sesshomaru-sama let out a sigh. " No new arm. No good news" Sesshomaru said, " This Sesshomaru is not pleased..."

"What do you want me to do about?" Akito said rather defiantly.

" This Sesshomaru wants you to come back with some good news...or This Sesshomaru will kill you"

Akito growled and went into one of her berserk tantrums.

" WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! I AM THE HEAD OF THE SOHMA HOUSEHOLD! I BEAR THE FULL WEIGHT OF THE SOHMA CURSE! AND UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO ORDER **ME **AROUND! DO YOU HEA-"

-Please Stand By-

We now rejoin Sesshomaru and Akito. Sesshomaru was about to kill Akito for his disrespectful rant. But stage hands Ben, Jimmy, Holly, Sephiroth, Yoko, Cloud and Yusuke held back the Youkai while Kato and Shigure calmed Akito down.

So there were the two on set again, alone.

" This Sesshomaru wants you to come back with good news" Sesshomaru said with demonic eyes.

" Yes my lord" Akito said grudgingly and flew off.

" Everyone take a five minute break" Kato sighed.

Everyone walked away and Kato slumped in her chair. Ben, however, was very absorbed in his gameboy game. " Wheeee ."

" Otouto-chaaaan!" Kato whined, " O-negai desu, I need your wise council"

(translation: Little Brother! Please)

" Um...ok" Ben said. Ben then took out a tiny magic box.

" Hey that's Gayle's!" Kato said

" Yup!" Ben said and tossed the box into the air.

There was a loud POOF noise and lots of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Ben was now in a business suit and was at a desk.

" Time for me to play Psychiatrists!" Ben said triumphantly, " Tell me what's up"

Kato, who was lying in the cleshé lie-back seat began her sob story.

_Five hours later:_

" -and then Nii-san humiliated me in front of all me in front of my bestes-" Kato began to sob.

" OK I GET IT!" Ben shouted ( facial expression: ;;-.-), " YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS! I thought you wanted me to do my job as a muse?"

" Yeah" Kato sniffled, " What can I do to make this story better?"

It was then when Yoko appeared out of nowhere. " Put me back in the story" he said

Kato and Ben however were not paying attention. " I mean it's gotta be something people love!" Kato said

" Put-me-back-in!" Yoko said, and it's funny cause he is right next to Kato.

" What about a monkey who makes toast?" Ben suggested.

" Damn it!" Yoko shouted, " But me back in the pointless fanfiction!"

" Ben, what is it with you and toast?" Kato asked

" I just think it's so cool" Ben said with a smile on his face.

Yoko groaned out loud. Here were two high school students who had poor listening skills.

" Hey I got it! Why not put Yoko back into the story?" Ben said

" Otouto-chan that's a great idea!" Kato said with glee and stood up. It was then when Kato saw Yoko (who is literally three feet away from her), " Yoko-sama! Ben just came up with the great idea!"

* * *

Next chapter...ok folks now we know what happens next! 


	16. The Exorcism of Koenma Daioh

Disclaimer: I don't own The Lord of the Rings. I do not own any of the copyrights to any of the anime or video games you see in this story. I, Kato Shingetsu, own the copyrights to Holly Slvyina and Haru. Muses Ben, Jimmy and Steven appear in this story purely for entertainment purposes only.

I'd like to take a moment of your time to thank you for reading my fanfiction. With this being the holiday season, I have taken some time to think about what I am thankful for. I don't have a job that gives me a salary. But I consider the reviews I get from my stories worth more then gold (I say this cause I don't have any gold). Well thanks a bunch! And have a nice holiday season.

* * *

Chapter 16- The Exorcism of Koenma Daioh

* * *

Back in Fangorn Forest:

Kuwabara was slurping a slushy, " Belch...Raspberry!"

Inuyasha, Kagome and Kuwabara were still on the trail of Shippo and Rini. But alas! About thirty minutes ago, something odd happened. They met someone they did not expect to meet.

* * *

" Meet my friend" Sano said

Shippo and Rini found themselves standing in front of Yoko Kurama. Who was susposed to be dead. Rini and Shippo stood there with their mouths open.

" Your supposed to be dead!" Rini squeaked.

" I know, I know" Yoko said, " Once again I cheat death"

" But what about a serious injury from the fall?" Shippo asked

" Please! A few scratches are nothing" Yoko said.

Rini and Shippo, who were in doubt, started to poke Yoko to make sure they were not delirious. Yoko had a vein mark on his forehead because of the two's stupidity. It was the last straw when Rini grabbed Yoko's face and stretched it into a smile.

" KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!" Yoko shouted.

Rini and Shippo gave a meep and hid behind Sano for a moment.

" Yes as you've now found out for yourselves, I'm alive.." Yoko said in a calm tone.

" So what should we do with em?" Sano said

" How about you and all of your buddies have a meeting" Yoko said.

" What buddies?" Sano asked, " WHO'VE YOU BEEN TALKING TO"

" I thought you belonged to the Sekihoutai" Yoko said

" But their dead!" Sano said

" We brought them back from the dead so they can play the Ents" Kato said quietly.

" The Ents?" Sano asked

" Yes! The Ents!" Kato said, " Your Treebeard!"

" Tree..beard?" Sano said inquisitively.

At this point, Kato was so mad that she walked up to Sano and smacked him across the head, " GET OVER TO THE MEETING GROUNDS AND DEBATE RIGHT NOW!"

" u.u Yes ma'am" Sano said and walked off with Rini and Shippo

Kato walked off grumbling, " I'm getting too old for this..."

" Old!...uh Kato?" Yoko said, " Your 16, ok? Your a year older then my human form"

Kato, while walking away, mouthed the words 'human form' and something clicked in her head. " Which reminds me...since you came back...your supposed to be different right?"

" Ah-" Yoko said, trying to interrupt Kato. But alas! Kato was planning something devious.

" Technically, you should be 'reborn'" Kato concluded.

" Shingetsu" Yoko said sternly, " For the love of the gods if your thinking what I think your thinking"

" Oh but I am!" Kato said and took out her magical mechanical pencil.

All hell was about to break loose when then...

The lights went out.

" EEEEEEEEK!"

The lights went back on and Kato's mechanical pencil disappeared from her hands.

Kato squeaked and looked around, " I-I need that pencil to mess around with the story!"

" Does this mean I won't be human for the rest of the story?" Yoko asked with a raised eyebrow.

" sniffle...yes..." Kato said gloomily and went back to her directors chair.

Any who-

Kagome looked around, " I sense something.." she said

" Hm?"

" Something evil is coming" Kuwabara said, the tickle feeling hitting him.

Everyone readied their weapons and stood there. They waited for this 'evil' to come to them. The tension could be cut with a pocket knife.

Just then, Yoko walked out of a bush behind the tree.

" What are you kids doing?" Yoko asked after walking up to the tree.

" Waiting..." Kagome said

" For?" Yoko asked

" Something evil to come" Kuwabara answered.

Yoko gave a confused look and thought ' What? I'm not evil enough for you?'.

So Yoko decided to wait with them, it's not like he had anything better to do at the moment.

Two hours later everyone (minus Yoko) was still frozen into fighting stance. Everything was eerily silent. With the exception of Ben and his game boy.

" Weee!"

" Are you s-" Yoko began to ask but was cut off

" SHHHHH!"

" That's it!" Yoko growled and walked in front of the three, " Now look you three! I've got my own things to take care of. So either tag along with me or I can leave you hear to die!"

The three blinked at the new comer. They were not expecting to see Yoko ( who had 'died') in front of them. So the three screamed-

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

" Your supposed to be dead!" Kagome said

" -.- I'm not the first person to cheat death..." Yoko commented

" Yeah there's Kikyo, Princess Serenity, Ceres, Mikage, The Organic Angel Alexiel. The list goes on and on"

So Yoko led the three out of the Evil Forest. Yoko whistled and up came a taxi.

" What the-" Yoko mumbled.

" Uh there was a bit of a mix up with the agency" Steven explained, " We sent for a white horse but we got a taxi car instead"

" Works for me" Kagome said while shrugging her shoulders.

Kagome, Kuwabara, Yoko and Inuyasha got inside the taxi to see Nabiki Tendo (from Ranma 1/2) as their driver.

" Where to kiddies?" Nabiki asked

" Rohan" Yoko said, " and I'm not a kid..."

So Nabiki drove off like a maniac through the grassy plane. Yoko began to go through a briefing with the others.

" While I was going through time and space" Yoko explained, " I saw Koenma. But it wasn't the end. He was being possessed by something. Oh and Jaken was there too"

" That little toad!" Kagome said.

" I thought he was an imp" Inuyasha commented.

" Who cares he's evil!" Kagome said

" You two, shut up!" Yoko commanded, " Anyway, were going to exorcise whatever is possessing Koenma. Now it's not gonna be easy and it's not gonna be fun"

Insert the Exorcist theme(something I don't own)

The four got out of the taxi and paid Nabiki. Everyone walked up the stairs and noticed that nobody was guarding the front gate. So they let themselves in.

" Ok if anyone asks, I'm just a simple exorcist" Yoko said, " Kagome your my niece from out of town. Inuyasha, your Kagome's idiot husband. Kuwabara, your selling subscriptions to Readers Digest "

Everyone started to complain about their rouses.

" I don't want to be married to Inuyasha!"

" I'm not an idiot!"

" What's Readers Digest?"

" SHUT YOUR TRAPS!" Yoko shouted and knocked on the door to the inner part of the hall. " If anyone asks, my name isn't Yoko"

" Why?" Inuyasha asked.

" I was banned from the Fool's Golden Hall a few years back" Yoko said.

Sango appeared from behind them, " Who are you four?"

" I'm the exorcist" Yoko said, " This is my niece, he idiot husband...and I don't know this one"

" Nice to meet you" Sango said, " Lord Koenma is inside"

The five walked in to see Koenma in his chair. He was either sick, sleeping or dying.

" That exorcists looks oddly familiar" Sango said, " What's his name?"

"Uh..."

" Frank" Kagome said

" Toto-sai" Inuyasha answered simultaneously

" uh...Yoko?" Kuwabara answered

Sango let out a gasp, " YOKO KURAMA! HE WAS BANNED FROM THIS PLACE! GUARDS!"

The guards rushed out onto the scene and the three held back the guards and Sango.

Yoko, meanwhile, was trying to play exorcists. Yoko tapped Koenma in the head with his new and improved wizards staff.

" Give it up Pretty-Girl" Beryl said through Koenma.

Yoko was enraged, " I AM NOW A WOMAN! DON'T CONFUSE ME WITH TSUKASA! DIE!"

Yoko slammed Koenma in the head and Beryl was knocked out of Koenma instantly.

Koenma fell over asleep but was presumed dead.

" Oh no!" Sango shouted and ran over to her 'uncle' (notice the nifty quote marks), " Wake up!"

Koenma (in his adult form) made no move to wake up.

" I have a muffin.." Sango said

In a poof, Koenma turned into his child form and woke up. " Where?" Koenma said while looking around.

Everyone looked at their ruler and bowed respectfully. " Your alive sir!"

" Yes of course I am!" Koenma said while putting on his puffy hat, " And Jaken is working for Beryl as you all might have guessed"

Everyone looked at Jaken and advanced on him.

" You won't make a fool of me!" Jaken said reaching for his staff, " FEAR THE STAFF OF TWO HEADS!"

Jaken was about to pull out his staff when he realized, that he did have the staff with him

* * *

FLASHBACK (The Prop Room)

* * *

" Hey Holly" Ben said, " check out this staff I found"

" Ewww it's got two heads on it!" Holly said

" Yeah...it's also a flamethrower" Ben said, " Wanna go torch things?"

" SURE!"

Later, Jaken woke up from his beating and found himself tied to a tree.

" HELLLLLLP!"

* * *

Next time on Anime Characters do The Lord of the Rings:

More insanity!

I'm currently listening to the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory soundtrack...hehe I love it!


	17. Skills

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime/ video games or the Lord of the Rings that you see in this fanfiction. I own Holly Slyvina and Haru. The muses Ben, Jimmy and Steven appear because I made them.

12-3-05- I decided to start putting updates in case anyone cares about what I have to say. It was my birthday two days ago ( yay I'm 17!). My brother got me so nun chucks. hehe now I have a weapon. -.- I had to take the SAT's today. I had to go spend five hours at school..yeah the one place I want to be on my weekends...

Anyway, on with chapter 17

* * *

-Chapter 17: Skills...

* * *

Koenma was busy trying to act sad because Cloud had "died".

" YAY!" Sephiroth squealed with delight.

" I didn't think I'd live to see my own son die" Koenma sniffled, " I hate my job.."

"..I hate being here" Yoko said, trying to cheer up the toddler-ruler.

" IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MEEEEE!" Koenma said in an fake acting tone and began to fake cry.

Yoko then said something, but we can't hear it cause the music is blaring in the background and it's in another language.

Ahem,...in chapter 13 we viewed a small town in Rohan be destroyed by Sephiroth's meteor. But, two little kids made it out of the rubble alive and got to the main city. Their names were Miaka Yuki and Chichiri (from Fushigi Yugi).

"...No...da..." Chichiri said in a weary tone and collapsed.

" I'm sooooo hungry!" Miaka whimpered

Later-

Everyone was staring at Miaka. She had consumed 10 plates of food in about 5 minutes.

" Some youma attacked us and we came here to warn you, no da!" Chichiri said.

" How terrible!" Sango commented.

" ..." Yoko was silent from some reason

" Well?" Kato said from her directors chair

" Well what?" Yoko asked

" Aren't you supposed to say something insightful to Koenma-sama?" Kato asked

Yoko then stood up from his place and started to walk over to Kato, " Y'know" Yoko said, " I'm getting sick of you authoresses and your pathetic-"

WHAP!

It was then when Kato unleashed her secret weapon. With a twirl and a small jingle from the chain Kato showed off her new nun chucks!

" Nun chucks, biatch!" Kato shouted.

" Who in the right mind would give _you_ a weapon?" Sephiroth asked

" Nii-san, of course!" Kato said happily

Everyone gave a sweatdrop and looked at Ben.

" Hey I'm Otouto-chan" Ben said in his defense, " besides I'm only a brother-in-arms. I'm not related to Kato"

" Anyway...thank you Nii-san!" Kato said

" Thank you Kato's Nii-san" the crew said

Anyway

Yoko sat there with Koenma. The poor fox anthro now had a bump on his head because of the nun chuck attack.

" I think you should fight" Yoko said dully.

" I don wanna!" Koenma said

"coughwhimpcough!" Inuyasha said

" What did you say!" Koenma said while summoning a ton of guards

Inuyasha gave a sweatdrop and improvised, " uh...whi...whip...uh rose whip?" he then pointed to Yoko and laughed.

" -.- baka hanyou" Yoko grumbled.

" Ok then were leaving!" Koenma shouted.

So, the small city on the hill was given the proclamation that it was time to leave town. People were told to take all that was necessary.

" I can't believe Koenma's being such a wuss!" Kuwabara said while walking with Inuyasha, Kagome and Yoko, " We should fight!"

" Your philosophy on everything is to fight" Yoko said

" You wanna take this outside?" Kuwabara asked

" We are outside, baka.." Yoko said

" What's the plan?" Kagome asked

" I'll go and fine Yusuke" Yoko said, " You three just stay here and try not to die"

So Yoko left the three in the evacuating town. He would be gone for quite a while.

Inuyasha meanwhile, was looking at a calendar on the wall.

"_Oh no" _Inuyasha thought, _" It'll be the new moon in a few days"_

Kagome looked over at Inuyasha, " Inuyasha? What's wrong?" she asked

" Oh nothing Kagome" Inuyasha said.

Anyway, back with Sango:

Sango was busy packing away her things when she found her Boomerang Bone. Sango looked at in in awe. She imagined herself in battle and pretended to kick some youma ass.

" And the crowd cheers for Sango!" Sango said and started to make cheering noises.

" Your really weird" Inuyasha said while appearing from behind.

" Uh...well a girls got dreams" Sango said when she realized she wasn't alone.

" I thought it was a girls dream to get married and have kids" Inuyasha said

" I want to be a demon slayer!" Sango said, " I will die a demon slayer"

" Hey with that weapon" Inuyasha said, " I think you'll pull it off"

So everyone left the city. It was now a ghost town...well with the exception of Miaka and Chichiri. Miaka was still eating.

" I think they left us here, no da" Chichiri said and nodded.

Anyway, I bet some of you are wondering what happened to Jaken. Well I'll tell you what happen to him!

Jaken was eventually freed by Beryl. He followed the evil b- I mean witch to her tower. And there, the two spoke of evil things...yes things that are evil...

" So...what's next?" Jaken asked his evil leader

" Where is Koenma heading?" Beryl asked

" To some place called Helm's Deep" Jaken said, " they will be slowed because pedestrians will be with them"

" Pedestrians..." Beryl said to herself, " good. SEND OUT THE BIKERS!"

-.- sigh I'm tired...- Kato

NOW WE GO BACK TO TSUKASA, KAROU AND AKI (FINALLY!)

Aki is currently trying to catch fish.

" I loooooooove sushi" Aki said, "especially when it's raw!"

" He's evil!" Karou said for the 17th time to Tsukasa

" Stop saying that!" Tsukasa said, " YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT ANYTHING!"

" That's the ring talking" Karou said

" Yes MY ring" Tsukasa said, " My ring. My task. My fanfiction. ME ME ME!" Tsukasa said

Tsukasa walked off in a huff, leaving Karou there for a moment.

" Tsukasa" Karou said, "..."

Later, while everyone is sleeping, Aki was having a little talk with Mikage.

" I want the ring back" Mikage said

" No it's Tsukasa-kun's ring" Aki said.

" Quite being such a wussie" Mikage said, " They all hate you!"

" Tsukasa-kun said he loves me!" Aki said

" Oh it's all about Tsukasa-kun" Mikage said, " Let me tell you something, Tsukasa-kun is a WO-MAN!"

" No!" Aki said, "...really?"

" Yes!" Mikage said, " She lied about being a man, why wouldn't she lie about considering you as a friend. You don't have any friends! NOBODY LIKES YOU!"

" YAMETE!" Aki shouted ( translation: STOP IT!)

" You killed Aya.." Mikage said, delivering what could be the final blow.

" It was an accident" Aki said as he began to cry.

Mikage was there, laughing in Aki's head, making Aki feel like an insignificant piece of garbage. But that's what Mikage did best.

" I hate you.." Aki said quietly, " I hate you.."

" What did you say?" Mikage said mockingly, " I couldn't hear your bitching"

" I SAID I HATE YOU!" Aki shouted.

And then...Mikage stopped pestering Aki.

" He...he's gone..." Aki said, " HE'S GONE!"

* * *


	18. Bonus Chapter Prairie Dog Camera

Disclaimer: The following story you are reading appears on fanfiction dot net for entertainment purposes on only. I, Kato Shingetsu, claim no ownership to any of the anime, videogames, movies or anything fun stated or mentioned in this fanfiction. The muses in this story (Ben, Jimmy, and Steven) appear because I make them. I do not own the Lord of the Rings.

12-17-05- last week, I was having a party, so that's why I didn't update. This week, I hope to post a lot because I am on Winter Holiday.

Well, enjoy!

At this time I have to apologize to one of my muses. Ben: You (in the story that is) are about to be beaten up, chased after and have a variety of other bad things happen to you. Sorry, but the vote was unanimous, and we all voted for you. Don't worry, next time, Steven will be in the spot light.

* * *

Chapter 18: Bonus Chapter ( Prairie Dog Camera)

* * *

The camera switches on and Ben is adjusting the camera lenses.

" Oh the lights on" Ben said, " Hi everyone! This is Ben from Kato Shingetsu's muse cabinet. For some reason, I am also known as Benji, Benji-kun, or Otouto-chan. Today I'm gonna take you around the set of Anime Characters do The Lord of the Rings. Let's see what's going on around the set"

Ben is taking his Prairie Dog camera around the set, " First" he said, " we'll visit my fellow stage hands. There's Holly, Haru and Jimmy. Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7 has joined us during the production to lend a helping hand. We've filed many restraining orders against him. But has that stopped Sephiroth-sama? Hell no!"

So Ben walked up to Sephiroth, camera on the demi-god.

" Hey Sephiroth!" Ben said to Sephy, "How come you keep getting your ass kicked by Cloud?"

Without hesitation, Sephiroth punched Ben and the poor guy went down.

* * *

Sometime later, Ben was again wandering around the set. This time, he was looking for Holly. Unfortunately, Ben walked in on Holly changing. This would be every teenage boy's dream, if Holly didn't have psychic powers and could stop Ben's heart if she wanted to.

" AHHHH GET OUT OF HERE YOU DAMN LECHER!" Holly shouted at the fellow stage hand.

Ben quickly ran out of the room shouting, " I'M SO SORRY!". But alas! Haru, who fancies Holly, spotted Ben running out of Holly's room.

" Hey! What the hell do you think your doing!" Haru shouted at Ben.

Ben immediately ran for it. At one point; Ben jumped up, poofed into prairie dog form, and left the camera behind. Little did Ben know, Haru would have watched the part with Holly about 60 billion times cuz he's a damn lecher too!

Later-

Ben was outside at the actors trailers. He was currently sneaking into Yoko and Kenshin's trailer.

" Don't you ever knock?" Yoko asked the intruder.

Yoko was busy reading the next scene's script and Kenshin was busying playing a video game.

" Nope! That's how I got my hentai shot of Holly!" Ben said proudly.

"...Your depraved..." Yoko said and went back to his reading.

" I'd like to see the hentai shot!" Kenshin declared, he didn't take his eyes off the game.

" How did you end up rooming with Kenshin?" Ben asked Yoko.

" By drawing lots" Yoko said, " I think Tsukasa gets his own trailer. Go pester him...or her, whatever just get out of here!"

" Let's go bug Tsukasa!"

Ben, spying on Tsukasa, sees that the wavemaster is a brat off stage. Tsukasa was currently smacking a chef across the head.

" I said I wanted a medium/well done steak!" Tsukasa shouted, " NOT medium rare! AND THIS ISN'T EVEN IMPORTED WATER!"

An interview with Queen Beryl-

" So..." Ben said

" Well?" Queen Beryl asked after a few moments of silence

" Um...your hairs all poofy" Ben said

" Now we'll go visit Kato Shingetsu" Ben said and walked up to an office door.

Ben walked in and saw Kato sleeping at her work desk.

" Uh...Kato?" Ben said and poked her in the head.

Kato merely groaned and said aloud, " Prince of Persia,... your so sexy!"

" Ok that's it! I'm done" Ben said and walked out.

End transmission.


	19. The Cooking Show

Disclaimer: I own Holly and Haru. Everything else is used for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Chapter 19: The Cooking Show

* * *

Live From Middle Earth, it's Cooking with the Mabudachi Trio!

Tsukasa, Aki and Karou, who were the only audience members, cheered for the three chefs. Karou gave an extra "WOOT" for Ayame.

Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori walked on stage. They were wearing chefs costumes made by Ayame.

Hatori (who was wearing a pastel, light green chef's costume) was grumbling, " I hate you so much" to Ayame. Shigure, however, saved Ayame from Hatori's harsh words.

" Oh Aya-chan don't listen to Haa-chan! I have enough love for the two of us!" Shigure said, and then a pink background came behind the two.

" Gure-chan!" Ayame said, " Your words fill me with so much joy!"

Shigure and Ayame exchange love phrases to each other and the auidence give out an " Awwwww".

Kyo and Yuki, however, were not pleased. " GET ON WITH THE SHOW ALREADY!" the two shouted

* * *

clink (Fruits Baskets intermission)

* * *

" Today's topic is cooking on the road" Ayame said happily to the audience

" How many of you are currently traveling on the road...lets say 'Destroying an evil ring'?" Shigure said, adding the second part ever so slyly.

Tsukasa, Aki and Karou raised their hands wildly and shouted, " OH OH RIGHT HERE!"

At this point, Hatori has given up on the cooking show and was now enjoying a smoke (which is wrong...don't smoke).

sigh

" Please welcome our new assistant, Miss Tohru Honda" Shigure said

Tohru walked in and bowed to the two 'chefs', " I am humbled you would let me join your show" Tohru said

" You know what would make me very happy Tohru-kun?" Shigure said, pretending to be teary-eyed.

" eh?" Tohru said

(insert sad violin music)

" It would warm my heart and soul if you could make us one of your delicious, home cooked meals!" Shigure said to the girl.

" (T.T) Yes!" Ayame joined in, " It has been it so long since had sukiyaki...and some tea would be nice!"

" DON'T WORK TOHRU LIKE THAT!" Kyo and Yuki shouted

" Oh no! I would be happy to make everyone sukiyaki!" Tohru said, " I would be humbled if our audience would join us!"

" YAY!" Tsukasa, Karou and Aki shouted.

Tohru checked the fridge to find that they were out of beef for the sukiyaki.

" Oh..looks like I'll have to go to the store" Tohru said.

" Not to worry!" Aki said, " I found two rabbits!"

And somewhere off stage, Momiji Sohma was crying his eyes out for his brethren (sniffle).

So, while Tohru prepared the sukiyaki, Tsukasa, Aki and Karou left to continue on their quest to destroy the one ring. Everyone sat down and said their prayers.

" Itadakimas!"

And so, everyone began to eat the delicious meal made by Tohru.

" Say where did the ring bearer and his two stooges go?" Shigure asked

" uh..."

Gloom sat in, for the chance to capture the ring bearer and his comrades had passed the furuba-ringwraiths again.

" Were not very good ringwraiths, ne?" Tohru said to her friends at the table

" Ne!"

* * *

Tsukasa, Karou and Aki found themselves spying on some army.

" How'd we end up here?" Tsukasa asked, " I wanted to eat the sukiyaki meal!"

Little did the two 'hobbits' know, Aki left them to ponder the question alone.

Just then, a tall demon grabbed them.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

Now we rejoin the exodus to Helms Deep.

" So..." Kuwabara said to Sango. The idiot had nothing to say, because he was thinking of Yukina.

" So..." Sango said to Kuwabara. The demon hunter had nothing to say, because she was acting like she was thinking about Inuyasha.

Inuyasha let out a sigh, for he was thinking of his love. Kikyo.

COUGH SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE FLASHBACK COUGH COUGH HACK!

( A/N: At this point, I would like to state that I am for the InuyashaxKagome pairing. I gave the part of Arwen to Kikyo because I thought that keeping Kikyo far away from Inuyasha would be good. How wrong I was...)

" I'm waiting for you Inuyasha. I always will"

Inuyasha and Kikyo share a kiss. It's one of those tender moments that makes you feel akward.

Inuyasha then tweaked Kikyo's elf ears.

" Hey what was that for?" Kikyo asked

" HA! Now you know how it feels!" Inuyasha said

MOREFLASHBACK

" I will not allow this any longer, that I will not" Kenshin said to Inuyasha, " Inuyasha, you cannot be with Kikyo."

" Kenshin..." Inuyasha said, " Were you the only one who read the script?"

" Yes...I'm actually doing my job, that I am" Kenshin said happily.

" Poor Inuyasha" Kagome said quietly, " he misses Kikyo"

" huh?" Inuyasha said and looked over at Kagome, he heard her mumbling.

" N-nothing!" Kagome sighed.

" If I didn't know any better" Inuyasha said, " that was a pity sigh!"

" SHUT UP!" Kagome shouted to the Hanyou.

While Inuyasha and Kagome are bickering, Koenma sent two soldiers ahead to check on the road.

The two losers are ambushed because they don't no how to glance up. Behold! The simplicity of mankind! MUWHAHAHAH-cough.

" AHHH WERE BEING AMBUSHED!" Kagome shouted.

Sango thought this would be her chance to show off her skills as a demon hunter.

" Uh...Sanmo, right?" Koenma said, " Go lead the pedestrians to safety!"

" It's Sango!" Sango shouted to the toddler.

" Whatever just go!" he shouted.

Poor Sango. She didn't get her chance to fight. But don't worry folks! This authoress follows by the movie...um...I think...

So, the story ends up turning into a Yu Yu Hakusho/Inuyasha crossover.

" DAMMIT!" Kato shouted to the heavens. For Kato had no interest in making a crossover...th-this didn't count as a crossover because it's a parody of the Lord of the Rings.

As the good guys rushed into battle on horses, Kagome got to do yet another kick ass ninja-like stunt. She kicked Kuwabara off of a horse and flipped onto it.

" WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Kuwabara shouted to Kagome.

" IT'S A LEGITIMATE STRATEGY!" Kagome shouted back to the idiot, " GET USE TO IT!"

Kuwabara didn't have a lot of time to think about what Kagome said, because some Youma advanced on him. Just then, Inuyasha came up behind the youma and slashed them in half.

" It's just not the same without Tetsuaiga!" Inuyasha cried out.

One of the youma, who remained intact, decided to mimic Inuyasha's complaint.

" Oh your such a wuss!" the youma shouted, " I bet you'd chicken out in a race off the cliff!"

" I'll take that bet!" Inuyasha shouted to the Youma.

So there was Inuyasha and some hideous Youma, in the middle of a battle, about to run off the cliff simultaneously. All for the purpose of proving who was more of a wuss.

" GO!"

The youma pushed Inuyasha to his knees and got a head start. Inuyasha quickly got up and dashed after the youma. It seemed as if the two were going to go off the cliff together. But then, as the youma fell behind and Inuyasha was ever-so-close to the edge of the cliff, the youma sent an energy blast at Inuyasha. Inuyasha was sent flying off the cliff and plunged into the river. Oh and to make it more heart breaking, Inuyasha lost his prayer bead necklace that he got from Kikyo.

Later-

" INU-YA-SHA?" Kagome shouted as she looked for her the hanyou.

" Hey isn't this his?" Kuwabara said and picked up the prayer bead necklace.

" Oh no..." Kagome said.

* * *


	20. What happens in Helms Deep

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Holly and Haru are mine.

12-20-05: Been playing Prince of Persia Sands of Time...I don't know who's worse: Fariah or Lady from Devil May Cry 3.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 20: What happens in Helms Deep...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sango entered Helms Deep with the other pedestrians, only to see that the fighters oddly got to the fort before the non-combatants did. What really pissed off Sango, was seeing Kuwabara and Koenma having a drinking contest.

" Idiots...wait, where is Inuyasha?" Sango asked

" He fell off a cliff!" Kagome cried out.

And all Sango could do is feel sorrow for her fallen love interest.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AT BERYL'S DARK TOWER

" My Lady if I may ask" Jaken said politely, " How are we to take over Helms Deep?"

Beryl took out crates and crates of M-80 and C-4.

" That answer your question" Beryl said

" What are they?" Jaken asked.

" Explosives" Beryl answered.

Jaken was still confused so Beryl simply said, " They'll make the wall go BOOM!"

" Oh so it's like fire only 1,000 times worse" Jaken said

" Exactly!" Beryl said, " Now, I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10,000. Get the number right and you get a beer!"

" um...7,893?" Jaken guessed.

"Wrong" Beryl said and led Jaken outside to the 10,000 (or Ichi-Man) Youma/Darkness/Heartless army. The army "roar"ed with excitement for their commander.

" MY FELLOW DEMONS!" Beryl shouted while waving her hand for silence, " It is time for us to take our rightful places as rulers of this wor-"

" Um your Grace?" A youma grunt shouted, " What if I don't want to fight?"

Beryl, who was immediately displeased, sent lightening down on the grunt who died instantly.

" Now go my 9'999 evil soliders. LEAVE NONE ALIVE!" Beryl shouted and then added, " and remember, a shiny new dime for the lad who kills Yoko Kurama!"

Riku, after hearing this, ran out first shouting " THAT SHINY NEW DIME IS MINE!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sano was walking with Rini and Shippo through the woods.

" Would you believe Beryl and I used to be gambling buddies" Sano said, " but now all she cares about is World Domination"

" How sad" Rini said

Shippo looked to the south and saw the 9,999 army, "Rini look!". Rini looked at the army, "Holy fu-" Rini began to say

" WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!" Sano scolded the little girl. But then Sano saw the army, " Holy fuck" Sano said, " Ok time for the meeting"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The good news is Inuyasha is still alive. The bad news is tomorrow was the full moon (his time of the month). So, there was Inuyasha, lying on the ground knocked out. When then Kikyo used her Miko power to appear.

" I'll be waiting for you Inuyasha.."

Inuyasha woke up and quickly hailed Nabiki's Taxi.

" Where to hunny" Nabiki said.

" Um...what's that place...ur Helms...Helms Deep!" Inuyasha said

Nabiki speed off into the night...which is odd because it's only 11:00 a.m.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Kikyo?"

Kenshin walked into Kikyo's room.

" Did you just use your miko powers to help Inuyasha?" Kenshin asked

" Why no father" Kikyo said

" You know Inuyasha is only human" Kenshin said

" I AM NOT!" Inuyasha shouted from across the set

" Sorry...he's only a half demon" Kenshin said, " He will die and you will be alone with no one to comfort you"

Kikyo envisioned Inuyasha's funeral and her life after his death. This only left Kikyo in tears. Kenshin hugged his on screen daugther, " Please go with the others...for me" he said.

" I will.." Kikyo said.

And Kikyo left with many other of her kind. They were leaving this realm for their homelands.

Kenshin stood there, watching over those who left-

And then, Kenshin went through an LSD induced trance.

_" So help me God if Sephiroth charges at me- Oh it's on!"_ Aerith said and began her prophecy, _" The world is changing...Kenshin-sama, we cannot leave the mortals to fight alone!"_

_" Can I talk to Kenshin?"_ Sephiroth asked

_" NO!"_ Aerith shouted to the demi-god

_" Bitch"_

_" Fuck off!"_ Aerith shouted, _" Tsukasa is going to fail...and you knew all along you bastard!"_

" I didn't know Tsukasa was going to fail, that I did not" Kenshin said

Just then, Aerith was pushed to the ground and Sephiroth shouted, _" HEY KENSHIN DUDEEE WAZZZUP!"_

_" My gods you've been drinking!"_ Aerith said

_" Enough to make you pretty!"_ Sephiroth said, _"Ooooo burn!"_

Well Aerith got so mad that she summoned Holy on Sephiroth's sorry ass.

" Wh-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"- Sephiroth screamed as though he was dying a billion times at once.

" Such recklessness" Mirkou said with a sigh

" Very tr-" Aerith began to say

But alas! Aerith's face went red because Mirkou, being the pervert he is, was feeling Aerith's bottom. Before Aerith could turn to slap Mirkou, Cloud stormed in.

" What did I say about you touching Aerith?" Cloud said.

" Th-that if I did anything to Aerith you would ruin my chances of having an heir?" Mirkou said with a sweatdrop.

Cloud unsheathed his Buster Sword and poined it at Mirkou.

DUN DUN DUN DUUNNN!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	21. Insert Title Here

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime, video games, or the Lord of the Rings that is mentioned in this fanficiton. Holly and Haru are MINEEEEE! Ben, Jimmy and Steven are in this fanfiction because I'm making them

12-28-2005: Beaten Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. And so, for fun:

We pause our story for a second to show you the events of an idiot who lived far, far away.

Somewhere in Persia, The Prince (who doesn't have a name...poor guy) was messing around with the dagger of time.

And then...the batteries fell out of the shiny dagger. Right then and there, there was a freaky glitch and the Prince fell through time and space.

-------------------------------  
Chapter 21: Insert Title Here  
-------------------------------

" Ok everyone quiet on the set!" Holly shouted.

The twenty first chapter of Anime Characters Do the Lord of the Rings was about to be filmed. Kato, sitting on the directors bean-bag chair, took out a megaphone.

" Ok chapter 21, take one" Holly shouted

" AND ACTI-"

Just then, there's a scream. It gets louder and louder until-

" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Something crashed through the roof and landed right on Tsukasa.

" uwaph! (X.X)" Tsukasa groaned.

There was the Prince of Persia, alive and unfortunately in a place worse then hell. Think about it: Your in a room with 30-some anime characters, a couple of other video game characters, five muses and an authoress who's idol is TV's Adam West ( well I think the Family guy version of him is funny).

The Prince stood up, " I'm alive!" he said

Kato immediately ran up and choke hugged the poor Prince, " My current love!" Kato said in awe.

" She only likes you because you gradually rip your shirt off in Sands of Time" Holly whispered in the Princes ear.

" Shut up!" The Prince said and looked at his pants, " There's a rip in my pants"

And somewhere in the India, Farah was cheering for the fan service. Ah fan service, the sweetest words in the English language.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Koga and his clan were looking at a map of Middle Earth.

"..." Koga was silent

" Well?" One of Koga's clansmen asked.

"...I can't read this...Maybe Kagome can!" Koga said

" Focus!" the clansmen said and continued, " We are here" he said while pointing to the map, " Kagome is here" he continued while pointing to Helms Deep.

" No doubt being annoyed by that bastard half-demon" Koga muttered

" Actually, since Kagome-san is playing as a guy it would be odd for Inuyasha-" The clansman began to say. But then Koga ran up to Kato and grabbed her by the collar.

" What-have-you-done-to-Kagome?" Koga asked.

" I haven't done anything...stupid wolf" Kato said, " Besides, Inuyasha is going to marry Kikyo at the end of the story as much as I hate to say it.

" Good" Koga said

" Don't you ever care about Gondor or Rohan?" Kato asked

" I only care about killing Naraku" Koga answered. Kato gave a sigh.

-----------------

Tsukasa and Karou are no longer bounded at the hands. They are surrounded by many men and wolf demons who are either preparing for battle or are apart of some pyramid scheme.

" You two look like Youma" Koga said while walking up.

" Hey I'm to cute to be a Youma!" Karou said. People oddly began to snicker at Karou's comment.

" I'm Tsukasa. This is Karou Kamiya" Tsukasa said, " Were from Shi-Town"

" Where's your friend?" Koga asked

" What friend?"

" The idiot who kept talking to himself" Koga said

" Oh!...That was Karou" Tsukasa explained and then whispered to Koga, " She's not quite right in the head!"

" Hey!" Karou shouted

" What brings you to my neck of the woods?" Koga asked

" well..." Tsukasa said and began to explain the entire story, but we'll fast forward through that part.

" You know Bear?" Koga said

" Um...tall guy, white hair...likes shiny things?" Tsukasa asked

" That's Yoko" Karou said

" I thought that was Inuyasha" Tsukasa commented

" No! He's mean!" Karou said, remember all of the bad things.

Koga took out a picture of him and Bear at the county fair. Tsukasa looked at it and suddenly, he remembered who Bear was.

" Oh! Good ol' Bear! Nice guy! Good ol' Bear!" Tsukasa said

" He died" Koga said, " and since you were friends you could tell me how it happened. He was my brother"

" Naw, I'd see you around The World" Tsukasa said reassuringly.

" Really we were brothers" Koga said

" Nope! Bear never mentioned you" Tsukasa said

" WE WERE BROTHERS YOU FRICKIN IDIOT!" Koga shouted

" Fine...then I get to be related to Kikyo" Tsukasa decided

-----------

So Koga, Tsukasa and Karou were eating a meal prepared by Tohru. Then Aki walked by because the aroma of the food had tempted him.

" You know that guy?" Koga asked

" No.." Tsukasa and Karou said together. Lets face it, Aki wasn't a bad person, but sharing one of Tohru's meals was out of the question. Koga let out a sigh and snapped his fingers. Guards surrounded Aki and Tsukasa, arrows pointed at the two.

" What the devil?" Aki said

" Let's try this again" Koga said, " Do you know each other?"

The two looked at each other and-

" AKI!"

" TSUKASA-KUN"

They hug each other

" Haven't scene you since college" Tsukasa commented

--------------------

Back at Helms Deep, everyone was mourning the death of Inuyasha.

Well, Kuwabara was busy listening to Metallica. Cloud was polishing his sword . Hell, even Koenma was catching up on his reading.

" So the cow...jumps over the moon! It makes perfect sense!" Koenma said

" YOUR SUSPOSED TO BE MOURNING INUYASHA'S DEATH!" Kagome shouted.

Everyone looked at the enraged high school student and decided to humor her. They let out a fake cry of mourning for their fallen half-demon. Just then, Inuyasha did his dramatic entrance. That's right folks! Inuyasha is ALIVE. And their was much rejoicing.

" yay..." Everyone cheered dully.

" Save your cheering" Inuyasha said, " An army is coming to kill you all!"

Everyone let out a gasp of fear.

" Luckily for me I can run all the way back to Japan. So long suckers!" Inuyasha said

Then, as Inuyasha walked out, the sun went down and the night of the new moon began. You know what that means! Inuyasha went human.

" Oh you gotta be kidding me!" Inuyasha shouted to the heavens. And the heavens seemed to look down upon Inuyasha...and laugh at his sorry ass.

Any whom, enlistment for Helms Deep army began. Everyone who was able to fight was to sign up. Even Holly a stagehand was signing up for the fight.

" So do you have any weapons?" A man at the table asked Holly.

" Oh yes I do!" Holly said triumphantly and walked away laughing manically.

" I got out of the army because I brought my Xbox!" Ben said

" You sure did" Kato said, " C'mon Steven ya gotta take Ben's place in battle"

" Why?" Steven asked

" It's a level of Seniority issue" Kato, Holly and Ben said simultaneously.

" Your gonna be the Donut of this fanfiction" Kato said while nodding.

" -.- Do I have to?" Steven asked

" YES!" Kato whined, " We got you the pink armor and everything"

Steven walked off without saying a word. Kato looked over at Ben

" I brought the Xbox what more do you want?" Ben asked

" Never ask a woman that question" Holly said

-----------------------------------------

Bonus theatre-

" Finally!" Yoko shouted

" Hm? What's up?" Holly asked

" Kato ran out of space in her old notebook, that means the fanfiction's done" Yoko shouted

Holly gave Yoko a smirk and then shouted, " HEY KATO!"

" WHAT!"

" GET OVER HERE!" Holly shouted

Kato came out of her room, " hm?"

" Merry Christmas" Holly said and handed Kato a present.

Kato opened it to see a marble composition note book. Yessire bob! One hundred sheets/ Two hundred pages of pure authoress delight.

" Oh thank you Holly!" Kato squealed with joy and hugged the stagehand.

Yoko took out his death list and under Kato Shingetsu and Ben he wrote down Holly (not that they were on the top of the list)

" Hey Holly, you got a last name?" Yoko asked

"...NO!" Holly ran off crying

" You Bastard!" Kato said, " Holly's really sensitive about her personal life" Kato ran off to comfort Holly.

--------------------------------

In chapter 20 I accidentially used the phrase 'full moon' instead of 'new moon' in regards to Inuyasha. Please accept my apologies, I must not have been paying attention.


	22. stays in Helms Deep

Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, do not claim any ownership to the anime or video games that are present in this fanfiction. I, Kato Shingetu, do not claim any ownership to The Lord of the Rings. I, Kato Shingetsu, own the copyrights to Holly and Haru. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven are appearing for the purpose of entertainment only.

01-20-06: I didn't update last week because I was very tired. I've been working on my school work. I've also been writing my Yu Yu Hakusho Horror story (Kyofu/Virus) and that has been draining me of my energy. My main concern with Kyofu/Virus is to make it so you know it's my story. The problem is it's based off of Ringu so yes, Kyofu/Virus is going to have the cliché story line with a little girl coming to kill you. My other main concern is the OC's in the story. Holly is going to be a main character in Kyofu/Virus.

Oh and I'm also trying out for the school play ( A midsummer nights dream). Wish me luck! I want to play a minor role!

Anyway, on with our current story- ANIME CHARACTERS DO THE LORD OF THE RINGS!

-----------------

Chapter 22-...stays in Helms Deep

-----------------

So there were Shippo, Rini and Sanoske in the forest. They were waiting for the other members of the Sekihoutai to come for the meeting.

"..."

"..."

"...moot.." Shippo finally said to break the silence

" Moot?" Sano repeated

" Yup...Moot!" Shippo said

" What the hell is Moot?" Sano asked

" Your face! OOH BURN!" Shippo said

Everyone had sweatdrops on their head. Shippo was getting lame with the jokes. But Sano kinda fell into that one. Anyway, the random members of the Sekihoutai showed up for the meeting.

" Ok, roll call!" Sano shouted, " Aki?"

" Here"

" Gimizu?"

" Present!"

" Maraku?"

" yo!"

Two hours later-

" Zuru?" Sano called for the last member.

" Right here!" Zuru shouted

" Ok then" Sano said, " The twenty third meeting of Entmoot is all in session. Our first order of business: Beryl is cutting down the forest for profit!"

Everyone was dead silent.

" The forest we live in" Sano said to the crowd

Still, everyone was dead silent.

" That's bad" Sano added.

Everyone let out a gasp! For tearing down the forest that they lived in WAS bad!

Anyway, lets leave the idiots to their meeting and go to Helms Deep.

At Helms Deep!

People were being hauled off to battle. All non combatants were moved into shelter. Now in the movie, women were excluded from battle for some strange reason (coughsexistscough). But even though I wanted to base this off of the movie, I, Kato Shingetsu, have decided to let women have equal share of the fight.

" YAY!" All of the women fighters shouted.

Oh except for Sango. My reason for excluding Sango is because she's playing Eowin, therefore she has to wait for the cross dressing scene.

" Aw c'mon!" Sango shouted to Kato.

" Sorry honey" Kato said, " I can't make everyone happy"

Sango gave a "hmp" and walked into shelter. It's funny. Sango, an experienced Demon Exterminator is excluded from battle because of her gender. Yet little boys who are trying to act gangsta with their beanie hats are given a sword and rushed into battle.

" What the hell are you talking about?", Cloud asked Kato

" Watch the freaking movie!" Kato said, " The little teenage boys are wearing beanies! That's so gangsta!"

" Somebody want to give her a tranquilizer?" Yoko whispered to Ben.

" I would have done that before she started the fan fiction" Ben commented

" Right..."

--------

In the Armory of Armor (HAHAHAHhahahaha...I'm running out of material -sobs-)

" How many of you have had actual solider training?" Inuyasha asked the crowd of about three hundred.

Dead silence must be a trend here, because that was the answer given to Inuyasha. Dead freakin silence.

" WERE SCREWED!" Kagome wailed with grief. She didn't want to die! She had a math exam on Wednesday.

Even though Kagome said those harsh words, the "soldiers" continued to prepare for battle. Even thought many of them were going to meet a doom that involved a sword, a flying arrow, or some other point object, there were the "soldiers" getting ready to face that DOOM!

" SCREW THAT!" The soldiers shouted when they heard the narration from above.

Kato let out a sigh while sitting in her authoresses chair and slumped in her seat.

" I should really learn to shut my mouth" Kato grumbled.

-----------------------

Meanwhile, Koenma was hiding under his table in his room. Not that he was scared about fighting the 9,999 heartless/youma/darkness battle...ok maybe a little but that's besides the point! Anyway, George walked in with some Samurai armor. Hey! Since this is ACLOTR's, I think that the anime should wear Samurai armor.

" Sirrr! Are you in here!" George asked, " It's time to get ready for the big fight sequence"

' _Maybe if I'm quiet, George won't find me' _Koenma thought.

Lo and behold, George looked under the table and found the toddler. " Lord Koenma! There you are!" George shouted.

" AHH!" Koenma yelped, " I don't wanna go! Why'd I sign up for this story!"

Anyway, Koenma grudgingly dressed in the Samurai outfit. The pro about being the King was that he got to have his own mon- dammit it I finish that word, Cloud's gonna ask _" What's a monolouge?". _Let's call it a soliloquy ( one of the meanings of a soliloquy is _the act of talking while or as if alone_)

" What happened to the simpler times?" Koenma said, " When I could just walk outside and not get possessed by some evil witch? Or when an evil army of 9,999 combatants wasn't out to kill us?"

" I think those times were stole by Disney" George said, " They're gonna rule the world by 2034"

" True..."

-----------

Finally! We get to the big fight sequence! YAYAYAYAY! People began to line up at the wall. Inuyasha was sulking because he had to be human for the evening.

Just then, Sora (from Kingdom Hearts) walked up to Inuyasha. Sora cleared his throat after a few moments to get Inuyasha's attention.

" What!" Inuyasha asked irritated.

" I'm scared daddy!" Sora whined and hugged Inuyasha

" I'm not your daddy!" Inuyasha shouted and kicked Sora off of him, " BUGGAR OFF!"

" FINE!" Sora said and chose a new victim to pester. Sora grabbed hold of Sephiroth and hugged him, " I'm scared daddy!" he said to his new father figure.

Sephiroth gave Sora the death glare of all death glares. There was no way in hell that Sephiroth would be the father of Sora...We at The Shingetsu Acting Company know that their is only one person who can possibly be related to Sephiroth...It's Ben, trust me.

" YES!" Ben said while jumping up, " I'm pure evil!"

" Go you..." Kato said dully.

" ENOUGH!" Sephiroth shouted at the two. He said to Ben, " YOUR NOT RELATED TO ME" and the Sephiroth said to Kato, " AND YOU NEED TO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT! AND FOR GODS SAKE LET ME KILL SOMEONE!"

" FINE!" Kato shouted back, " You can kill Riku"

" YES!" Sephiroth said (oddly in the same fashion that Ben said and did it).

" BUT! It's to be a FAIR FIGHT!" Kato said, " Any freaky godmoding, and your a dead godling"

------

Inuyasha was preparing for battle. Technically, Inuyasha was going to be USELESS in battle. But did that stop our favorite half-dog demon from the fight- hell no!

Just then Kagome walked in.

" W-were gonna win this fight, ne Inuyasha?" Kagome said quietly.

" Right" Inuyasha said while standing up.

So the two went outside while Kuwabara was STILL trying to write a letter to Yukina.

'Dear Yukina,

It is really, really cold here at the fortress thingy...' Kuwabara wrote

------

Outside, Squ- I mean Leon appeared with a small army of Elf-mikos were martching to the fortress. All the while chanting an army marching theme:

" _I don't know what I've been told. Something something rhymes with gold!"_

"...idiots" Kato said under her breath.

" HEY!" Leon shouted to the fortress, " Open up! Were here to lend a helping hand!"

" Bitch'n!" one of the guards said and the gates were opened to the elf-mikos.

Anywhom, there was the small 400-ish army waiting for the 9,999 army of darkness.

" Yeah, were screwed" Kuwabara said.

Then out in the distance, the darkness came...not the kick-ass Band. The Army with Darkness/Heartless monsters, armed with weapons of all sorts. Swords, spears, armor, you name it, they had it.

" I'M GONNA GET THAT SHINY DIME!" Riku shouted

Oh yes, and THEN it started to rain.

" yay" both armies said sarcastically.

Yes. There were the two armies. The good guys led by Inuyasha (in human form), Leon and Koenma (yeah their screwed). The Heartless/Darkness army led by Riku. And the people in the cave are playing the Scream as loud as you can game.

The Darkness shouted to taunt the good guys.

" Uh can we have a better army name?" Leon asked Kato

" No" Kato said.

" Dammit"

" HA HA YOU GUYS HAVE A SUCKY ARMY NAME!" some of the heartless/darkness army shouted.

Unfortunately, one of the guys in the good army was intimidated by this taunting. He accidentally shot off his sniper riffle at a heartless. The poor heartless was busy chattering to his neighbor about his girlfriend.

" I miss my gi-" Phil the Heartless began to say. But Phil was hit by the stray bullet, and died.

" YOU IDIOT!" Inuyasha shouted at the man who accidentally shot the heartless.

" OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED PHIL!" Riku shouted

" YOU BASTARDS!" the 9,998 army said simultaneously. And let me tell you something brother, there is no time in your life when you will be more frightened when a 9,998 army says " YOU BASTARD" simultaneously.

" LETS KICK SOME ASS!" one of the heartless shouted.

The Darkness army charged at the wall. As if that will do anything. What are they gonna do? Poke the wall in hopes that the wall will say " _Ooo! You hurt me you-you stupid lady_!" and if will just crumble to pieces!...

Well that's just what the Darkness army was hoping will happen. They charged at the wall and began to stab at it, while the good guys just gawked at the Darkness' stupidity.

A wave of arrows came raining down at the darkness army. Some where instantly impaled on the spot. Others were lucky enough to bring ladders. On top of the ladders were psychotic heartless who were on crack or LSD man!

" AHHH MOTHERLAND!" One of the Psychotic Heartless shouted and lept onto the bridge where the good guys were.

Don't worry folks! The Psychotic Heartless was instantly sliced in half by Kuwabara.

Like they say: What happens in Helms Deep, stays in Helms Deep

---------------------------

Next time on ACLOTR's:

We finish the battle...and lots of other crazy stuff happens as I butcher J.R.R. Tolkien's greatest work ever. May heaven have mercy on my soul!


	23. Of meetings and whiny girls

Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, claim no ownership to any of the animes, video games, or the Lord of the Rings. Holly Slyvina and Haru are mine. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven are appearing because I asked them too. I do not own any of Gwen Stefani's songs mentioned in this fanfiction.

12-27- yeah my plans for chinese new years didn't go so well...but it's all good. I just don't like being alone, on the weekends of all times! sobs in the corner

------------

Chapter 23- Of meetings and whiny girls

------------

Back at the big meeting, Rini and Shippo were playing poker. Not the kind of poker where you have to strip if you lose. Cause if your thinking that, your a god damn pervert!

Anyway, Sano walked into view. " Good news kiddies" Sano said to the two

" You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance by s-" Rini began to say, but was cut off by Sano

" No this is way better!" Sano said, " We've decided that you kids aren't apart of the Heartless...even though Yoko came and said you were good, we just like to make sure"

" Yeah,...what about Beryl?" Shippo asked

" About that" Sano said, " we all decided to become pacifists"

" HA!" Ben said to Kato, " See I told you it was a real word"

" Well I'll be damned..(v.v)" Kato said while frowning.

Aw crap we have to go back to the battle now...OR DO WE!

Guess wh-

" You just sa-" Jimmy began to say to the narrator. But was quickly socked in the face by Kato.

" I hate that fucking commercial" Kato said

Anyway, since it's now the 'in' thing to bring dead bat demons back to life, we join Kurone in some bar out in the middle of somewhere. Unfortunately, poor Kurone met something even worse then death.

Sitting across from him was a girl who didn't know how to shut the fuck up!

" So I said 'No way' and she said, 'ya-hu-'" The girl said with a whiny voice. Before she could finish, Holly pushed the girl out of the chair and sat down. "OUCH!"

" Yo" Holly said, " You Kurone?"

" Yeah...is she your friend?" Kurone asked while pointing to the unconscious whiny girl.

" pft Hell no!" Holly said, " I wanna know what the hell are you doing out of hell?"

" I don't know" Kurone said, " This always happens in somebody's crazy fanfiction. I heard that Yoko was in the fanfiction too"

" Gonna go save his sorry ass?" Holly asked

" No I was gonna go laugh at his sorry ass" Kurone said

" Oh?...In that case" Holly said and took out a folder from her coat. It was labeled 'Blackmail' on it, " Word on the grapevine was you were gonna come to kill us all or something of the sort"

"..I have better things to do with my time" Kurone said and took a sip of his drink.

Just then, the whiny girl from before came too and started to babble at Holly.

" Why'd you do that! OH MY GOD YOU BROKE MY NOSE!" The girl screamed.

Ten hours later,

The two had walked out of the bar and were making their way back to the filming area. The whiny girl was still following them.

" I thought I was going to bleed to death!" The whiny girl babbled.

" ENOUGH!" Kurone shouted and then turned to the whiny girl, " Listen, lady. Stop following me! I don't care about your stupid little friends! GOT IT!"

The whiny girl blinked...and continued to babble. And then, she crossed the line for filming and died because one of the heartless took her for a spare fighter.

" Hurray!" the two shouted and took their respective seats at the side lines.

Anyway, back in the big battle.

Heartless started to batter ram the front door. Which is bad because the front door was made out of cardboard and backed up with ducktape. Even though it was very flimsy, the cardboard door held when the Heartless began to bash it with a batter ram.

"Were winning?" Koenma said aloud, " Were winning! YES!", he said while doing a fan dance.

And then, the heartless put a spiky bomb in the drain- the Achilles heel of the fort.

A Psychotic Heartless came running up. He must be Riding the Dragon or something because he screamed, " I HATE PUPPIES!"

" Screw you!" Inuyasha shouted.

And somewhere in the Dark Tower, Sesshomaru sneezed for some odd reason.

" AHHH MOTHERLAND!" The Psychotic Heartless shouted

The Psychotic Heartless jumped in

" WE GO BOOM YA!" The Bombs shouted before-

**KABOOM! **(size of font should be 72 for maximum impact but what are ya gonna do?)

The wall implo...no wait it exploded! Yeah right exploded! People, heartless and chunks of the wall went flying into the air.

" Aw c'mon!" Koenma shouted while putting away the dance fans, " Just my day"

A chunk of rock smacked Kato across the head. Kato was knocked out.

" Kato?..." Ben said and nudged her in the head with his foot. No good, Kato was out cold. " Oh sbeepit" Ben said and sat in the directors chair.

Inuyasha got up to see the Heartless were swarming in. Kuwabara decided to play hero and leapt in to slice and dice the Heartless.

" I don't want to kill...but I don't want to die!" Steven said while fighting.

Kagome got to do yet another kick-ass ninja stunt. She skateboarded down the stairs, did a Judo Air (earning her 540 points) and shot five arrows into one Heartless.

" I love this show" Ben said a'la Gir

--------------

" But were Pacifists!" Sano shouted

" No your wussies!" Shippo shouted back

" Shut your pie hole!" Sano shouted and then walked away, " I'll give you a ride home...dumb kid"

" Don't worry Shippo" Rini said while placing her hand on his shoulder, " We have each other"

" What have I told you about touching me?" Shippo asked

-------

" We really screwed up big time (u.u)" Koenma said while frowning. The shame of defeat was near unbearable.

Koenma looked to see that George was trying to sneak away.

_' Maybe if I'm reaaaaly quiet, he won't see me' _George thought.

" Get back over here!" Koenma shouted to the ogre. He then shouted over to Inuyasha, " RETREAT!"

" I DON'T RETREAT! I AM NOT WEAK!" Inuyasha shouted back

" Just do what he says!" Leon shouted to Inuyasha

And then, Leon ran into Riku.

" You traitor!" Leon spat at Riku.

" Hey I'm only doing this for a shiny new dime" Riku said in his defense.

" Oh that makes it all better" Leon said sarcastically.

Riku gave a smirk and with increased speed, he slipped behind Leon and stabbed him in the back. Leon let out a small gasp of pain.

" OH NO! PERSON WHOSE NAME HAS LEFT ME!" Inuyasha shouted.

" Squall" Ben corrected Inuyasha.

" What type of a name is Squall?" Inuyasha asked

" My name...is Leon.." Sq- I mean Leon said with his left breath. And he died.

Inuyasha was enraged by the death of Leon. He fought on with the strength of...1 man...because unfortunately, he was human for the night. Could life get any worse?

Well the cardboard doors were getting a good ramming.

" Ok...I know death personally" Koenma reassured himself, " I have nothing to fear! To the cardboard gate!"

" Aye aye!" George said and drew his sword, " Uh...Koenma?"

" Yes?"

" Why do I have a plastic sword while you get a real samurai's katana?" George asked

" You have to take that up with Kato when she's conscious again" Koenma said.

The Heartless roared with rage as the door began to show signs of wear and tear. Koenma got stabbed and immediately stabbed his attacker back. That's all he had to do in the fight to get three purple hearts.

" That's John Kerry.." Inuyasha mumbled while walking up to Koenma, " But listen- The baka and I have an idea"

---

Inuyasha and Kuwabara slide out of an ever-so-secret door and hide behind a door.

" So how are we gonna do this?" Kuwabara asked Inuyasha

Inuyasha grabbed Kuwabara by the collar.

" What are you doing!" Kuwabara hissed.

Too late. Inuyasha threw Kuwabara over the ledge and into battle with the Heartless. Kuwabara rose up with Spirit Sword in hand, swinging left and right. Inuyasha jumped over and clobbered some of the Heartless with his blunt Tetsuaiga. Imagine that! Kuwabara and Inuyasha fighting Heartless- it's every Otaku's dream.

" Amen!" says the otaku of the world.

Kato was awake by this time now, listening to Gwen Stefani.

" Tick tock tick tock. Take a chance you stupid Ho!" Kato sang while dancing.

" Please help me...get me away from her" Ben said while taking a few steps back.

Anyway, the Heartless brought out the heavy artillery. A giant harpoon.

" Sweeeet!" Ben said while looking at the giant harpoon.

It gets even worse (Ben: SWEET!). The Heartless get even cooler, bigger ladders then before. So there able to climb up the ladder and the Harpoon rope.

" Dammit" Koenma grumbled.

" I ain't Hollaback girl. I ain't no Hollaback girl" Kato sang while still dancing.

And somewhere, many, many miles away, Yoko and Yusuke shuddered in fear. Something told them Kato was singing and dancing.

-------------------------

Next Time on ACLOTR's-

Kato sings some more...NO JUST KIDDING!

We finally finish the battle! (YAY INUYASHA GOES BACK INTO HALF DEMON MODE!)

Review! Because you know this shit is bananna's! B-A-N-A-N-N-A-S!

" Oh good you CAN spell!"-Sephiroth

" Man shut your damn pie hole!"-Kato


	24. Two Sacred Circles

Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, do not claim any ownership to the anime or video games that are present in this fanfiction. I, Kato Shingetu, do not claim any ownership to The Lord of the Rings. I, Kato Shingetsu, own the copyrights to Holly and Haru. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven are appearing for the purpose of entertainment only.

February 4th, 2006- This might be my last post for awhile. My grade in math isn't doing so well so I have to pick that up. You guys and gals have been great! And I am really, really thankful for all the love and support I have been getting for this fanfiction.

Finally I have to say good luck to fanfiction writer sjkatana with his own adaptation Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings. He says his version is going to be action genre. I say mine in chocked full of Vitamin C! (XP). So, go read sjkatana's version.

Oh special note- I _know_ somebody is going to freak out and get offended by this chapter...Well if you've read the story this far, you probably saw this coming.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 24- Two Sacred Circles

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now where were we.., OH YES! Sano was giving Shippo and Rini a piggy back ride through the old forest.

" The sooner I get rid of you kids, the sooner my spine heals" Sano grumbled.

Shippo kicked Sano in the back, " Mush Mortal!" Shippo shouted.

" Oh I got a good idea!" Rini said and jumped off of Sano. She ran south in order to lead Sano into a trap.

"COME BACK HERE YOU BRAT!" Sano shouted.

Rini transforms into Sailor Chibi Moon. This doesn't make Ri- Sorry, Sailor Chibi Moon run faster, I just thought she needed to shine.

" Meep meep!" Chibi Moon squeaked.

" WTF mate?" Kato said to Ben, who gave her a shoulder shrug.

---------------------------------------------------

With (OMG) Tsukasa, Karou, Aki and Koga and co. The group was near a place called Osgilaith. But that really didn't matter to Koga. All he cared about was finding Kagome.

" Look at the burning town!" One of Koga's lackeys said.

" Is Kagome there!" Koga asked in a rage. God forbid she was there!

" No, she's at that Helms Deep place" the lackey said.

" Hmp!"

" I mean yes! Kagome is there! We should go find her so she isn't hurt!" The Lackey said mockingly.

It won Koga over. Because Koga shouted, " ONWARD!".

" But I am Le Tired.." Tsukasa groaned.

" I said onward wench!" Koga shouted at Tsukasa

" I'm a guy!" Tsukasa shouted.

" Whatever just move!" Koga shouted back and shoved Tsukasa foreword.

---------------------------------------

" One time" Sano said to Shippo, " I was talking to Megumi and she kept looking at me with googly-eyes. I can't figure out why though"

" Fascinating.." Shippo said in a monotone voice.

Sano looked and saw Isengard's path of destruction. Half of the forest was burnt to the ground.

" You little pipsqueaks were right!" Sano shouted, " Beryl has gone way too far!"

Sano shouted to the heavens, " EVERYONE GET OVER HUR!"

So all of Sano's friend from the forest joined up and saw the distruction.

" All in favor in getting completely involved in this war and kicking some serious ass, say I!" Sano said.

Everyone said, " I!" and was pumped and ready to fight. One however said, "Nay" and was quickly beaten up.

So Sano and his homie'g's went into battle. Word to your mother-

" G-G-G-UNIT!" Kato shouted and gave the Westside sign.

" Poser..." Ben mumbled...he's one to talk cause he's got gold plates for his teeth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukasa, Karou, Aki and Koga:

Everyone is preparing for battle. Tsukasa, however, was about to have a seizure.

" Aw jeez not again" Karou said. She tried to get Koga to let her and Tsukasa go.

" Listen Koga" Karou said, " Bear died because he made the same making mistakes your making"

"Oh?" Koga said with a raised eyebrow.

"Trust me, if you let us go, you'll find Kagome faster" Karou said.

Then for some reason, Tsukasa began to make the Grudge noise. And everyone flipped out.

" WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

But then Tsukasa cleared his throat.

" Sorry 'bout that! Itchy throat" Tsukasa said with a smile.

And then the Flying Furuba-Nazgul came to attack.

" MUWHAHA!" Akito let out an evil cackle, now was his/her time to shine. Great now we have two cross dressers in the fanfiction!

-------------------------------------------------

Back at Helms Deep:

Koenma and some soldiers were bracing the door.

" Were gonna die! (u.u)" Koenma sobbed.

The group started to think they were doomed.

" Were doomed!" Kagome sobbed.

" You guys need to calm down!" Inuyasha said, " I got something that'll calm us all down"

And so Inuyasha in human form, Kuwabara, Kagome and Koenma sat in a circle. A sacred circle. And they did some Mary-Jane...hey I told you there'd be some drug use in this story. (A/N: If you've ever scene That 70's show, picture this scene as if you would a true Sacred Circle-k?)

Koenma gave a sharp inhale.

" Yeah..this calms me down.." Koenma said, " Now I just feel calm and...yeah calm"

" Man I am so glad I brought this stuff with me" Inuyasha said and munched on a muffin. Why? Because he had the munchies.

" You know what I've realized" Kuwabara said, " I've realized my hair is really, really orange! Like a carrot!...Hey maybe that's why people call me carrot top!"

Kagome was laughing her ass off and then went serious for one moment, " Seriously...people..Inuyasha..if Kikyo wasn't so keen on marrying you, I'd jump on you right now...Did I just say that out loud"

Inuyasha, by this time was back in half-demon form. " Yeah you did" Inuyasha said.

Kagome, Kuwabara and Koenma looked freaked out (Oo) and shouted, " D00d!"

" What" Inuyasha said,

" Your all...white" Kagome said, " Albino white..like Yoko. Cept you didn't ruin the Beatles"

-------

Speaking of Yoko. Aw let's face it! Yoko, Kurone, Yusuke, Sephiroth, Ben and Kato were having a Sacred Circle of their own.

Yoko nodded his head. " Yeah this calms me down...hey wait. What time is it?" Yoko asked, " Were supposed to be somewhere in two hours...but where?"

" My number one rule: Stay pure until 3 o'clock" Kurone said and checked his wrists, " 2 o'clock" he corrected and checked his wrists one more time, " I'm not wearing a watch" Kurone said and showed his bare wrists to everyone.

" Hey maybe we should stop doing this" Yusuke said, " I mean it's starting to effect my thi-..thinking...thinking think whatever! You know what I mean!"

" Hey I'm Yusuke" Sephiroth said, poorly imitating Yusuke, " I'm part demon but I'm friggen wussie"

" Hey I'm Sephiroth" Yusuke said, poorly imitating Sephiroth, " I use the same voice to imitate everyone!"

Yusuke then got punched in the arm by Sephiroth.

Ben and Kato were sharing a crate to sit on. Ben was snickering for some odd reason.

" I fucking hate you prairie dog" Kato grumbled.

" What'd Ben do?" Yoko asked the authoress.

Kato held up her hand, who was connected to Ben's hand because of super glue..

" Guys-guys-guys! Be serious for a second!" Ben said and tried to pull a straight face, " Ok...Guys, I'm omnipotent.."

Yoko had one of those WTF looks on his face. Next thing you knew, everyone cracked up at Ben's attempt to be serious. Sephiroth fell on the floor and was laughing like a hyena.

-------

So back to the Heartless, who were about to do a drug bust on Inuyasha and co. But the good news is Inuyasha was back in half-demon form.

" There's only one thing to do at a time like this" Koenma said.

" Ride out and die fighting" Inuyasha suggested.

" S-sure that works too" Koenma said. He was thinking of yet another Sacred Circle.

The Heartless busted in with a might roar. But everyone was ready. Inuyasha and Koenma led the charge. Still no Tetsuaiga for Inuyasha.

Outside, Yoko finally came back. True to his word. Yusuke and his drive-by gang appeared as well. The light shown brightly, all thanks to the drive-by gang's aura.

" Aw nuts.." The heartless army said simultaneously. And let me tell you something, when a small army of heartless say " Aw nuts..", you've got a pretty good chance of winning.

The battle changed for the better. The Heartless were driven out of the nearly destroyed Helms Deep.

------

Sano and his buddies started his rampage. Sano sent a boulder flying into Beryl's tower. Beryl was getting her manicure done by Karasu.

" What the fritters?" Beryl said and looked outside. Sano and his buddies were killing Heartless left and right.

" What do we do!" Karasu said freaking out.

Beryl with a dull look, shoved Karasu off the tower to his bloody death. And there was much rejoicing.

Finally, Sano and his gang destroyed Beryl's industry. A dam was broken and a river flooded.

" Were not tall enough for this!" Sano shouted

Rin- Sorry Sailor Chibi Moon took out an inflatable raft and everyone got in and was saved.

" Aw nuts.." Beryl said.

-----

Tsukasa was under hypnosis. He walked up to Akito with the ring in his hand.

" Akitoooo" Tsukasa said to the black clad sadistic man. Tsukasa took out the ring.

" The ring!" Akito said, "If I could just get a little closer"

Unfortunately, Akito was on a flying beast of some sort and couldn't get any closer to Tsukasa.

Just as Tsukasa was about to put the ring on, Karou pushed Tsukasa out of the way. And the two fell down a flight of stairs. Akito let out a sigh and flew away.

Tsukasa was about to stab Karou for being a bitch. But Karou let out a sob.

" Tsu-...Tsukasa...I-" Karou said but couldn't continue.

" I can't do this anymore" Tsukasa said dropping his sword.

" We shouldn't even be here" Karou said, " But we are..."

" I miss my home!" Tsukasa said, " I miss my Lazy Sundays when you and I ate cupcakes and watched the Chroni-WHAT-cals of Narnia! Hell I even miss Yoko!"

" I know you miss your cupcakes!" Karou said all teary-eyed, " But this is what we are. We are anime! And we are doing this to make other people happy. Life goes on, and we obey it's laws!"

Koga heard Karou's pointless speech and decided to let the three go.

Remember? Aki/Mikage was there. And Mikage was pissed off.

-------

" I can't believe were still butchering this!" Yoko said.

" Buh-leave it!" Kagome said.

" I just want my Tstsuaiga back" Inuyasha said

" What did I do to deserve this?" Yusuke asked.

" I ask myself the same question" Koenma said.

" All of our hops now lie in a cross dresser and an ugly swordswoman" Yoko said.

" Were screwed.." Kuwabara said

" No..just hope the third part of the story isn't as pointless" Yoko said

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kato fell back in her chair and let out a sigh, " There...and now the fun part begins. Ending the story that I've been working on for three years".


	25. The Month long hiatus

Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, claim no ownership to the animes/videogames/LOTR's you see in this here fanficton. I own Holly and Haru. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven are appearing because they are my muses. The Ziggy H bomb isn't mine...

March 28, 2006- Whew! That was a long two months. I posting on _ACLOTR's_ halted when I started my other story _Virus_. Since the first story is completed, I will finish _ACLOTR's_ before I post _Virus: Reproduction_.

I had to take the SAT's today. When I got home, I played KH2. I cleared the Land of Dragons and I am now at Beasts' Castle.

Oh and before we start I have a poem for all of you: Roses are red, Violets are blue. _I'm schizophrenic! _**I am too!**

* * *

Chapter 25: Bonus Theatre- The Month and a half long Hiatus. (a.k.a- WTF happened?)

* * *

Kato Ben and Jimmy are outside of a Try N' Save. Their mission you ask? TO GET KINGDOM HEARTS II! The II stands for 2 in Roman numerals. If you didn't know that, your a frickin' idiot! GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!

" Kato" Ben said, " Your scaring the readers as usual"

" Sorry" Kato said, " I'm just really tired"

Kato for some odd reason, had her hair up in curling rolls.

It was 11:59 p.m. on March 28th, 2006. Jimmy was eagerly waiting for the story to open at midnight so he can get his copy. Ben however was getting very cold. So he poofed into Prairie Dog form and hopped into Kato's purse.

For some reason, Kato's purse reeked of a vanilla smelling perfume. Ben gagged-

" Why does your purse smell like French whore!" Ben managed to say before passing out in the purse.

Before Kato could give an answer to this question, the PA system turned on with a very special announcement-

" Attention Try N' Save customers. We have a limited number of Kingdom Hearts 2 copies...EVERYONE FOR HIMSELF!"

The doors slowly opened and everyone bolted inside for their precious copy of Kingdom Hearts II.

Jimmy dashed for the aisle that had Kingdom Hearts II, he'd been training for this day for about two years. Nothing would stop Jimmy! Not wind, nor rain, not even HELL ITSELF!

Speaking of Hell- Somewhere in the 5th ring of Hell.

Steven, the newest member of The Kato Shingetsu family...was currently in hell.

Why?...Because Steven died.

Why?...Because Steven messed with Sephiroth.

Wh- I-DON'T-KNOW-WHY!

So anyway, Steven was in a burger joint.

" Can I get a coke?" Steven asked the devil behind the desk.

" SOULS!" The devil said in response.

" Coke!" Steven corrected the devil.

" SOULS!" The devil shouted louder.

" **COKE!" **Steven yelled at the devil.

" Coke?...**SOULS!" **The devil shouted.

Steven gave a sigh. It seems Steven was going to have to go into berserk mode and kill the devil.

Annnnyway- back in the 'normal' world.

Jimmy made a jump for the boxes containing Kingdom Hearts II. But alas! Jimmy was knocked out of the air and trampled over by waves and waves of Bishoujo girls.

" NOOOOOO!" Jimmy shouted as he was trampled over, his video game snatched out of his hands.

Before Kato could be harmed, she ran off. For some reason, Kato wasn't as keen on getting her copy of Kingdom Hearts II.

Could it be that Kato Shingetsu wasn't a big fan of Kingdom Hearts II?

" Fuck no!" Kato said to the narrator, " I love Kingdom Hearts!.. _I_ just happen to be smart!"

" I CAN'T BREATHEEE!" Ben shouted while popping his head out of the bag, gasping for air." So what'dja do?"

" I ordered Kingdom Hearts II online" Kato whispered into Ben's ear. This was valuable information because if someone knew where Kato lived, they could just steal it from her doorstep. And that would be a kick in the teeth.

Ben jumped out of the purse, poofed back into human form and brushed himself off.  
" Stupid French Whore perfume!" Ben said.

" It's Lolita Lempicka!" Kato said dully.

Just then, Sora walked by and said, " Lolita Lempicka is French for 'French Whore'" Sora said.

Kato's eyes grew wide for many reasons. For one, Sora's voice and clothing changed, he looked a little bit more like a teenager (which Kato was happy for).

And Sora also just dissed Kato's beloved perfume. And that won't do..

Just then a group of Ben's fangirls came into the store. Ben gave a squeak and poofed back into Prairie Dog form. He hopped into Kato's bag, but hopped out a few seconds later.

" NO MORE FRENCH WHORE PERFUME!" Ben shouted.

Ben hopped into Sora's hair and was impaled by his spikes. Ben let out a scream of agony. Kato grabbed Ben and ran off while Sora was attacked by Ben's fangirls.

Jimmy finally spotted a copy of Kingdom Hearts II. He sprinted over, got his hand on the box.

Right at that moment, a gloved hand placed itself on the box as well.

" Hey man this is my copy!" Jimmy said, " Back off!"

Jimmy looked over and saw that the gloved hand belonged to Sephiroth.

" What do you think your doing?" Sephiroth growled at Jimmy.

Now, Jimmy is a smart boy...right?

No...Jimmy is really dense. So if Jimmy was to take on Sephiroth it's not because he's a great fighter. It's because Jimmy's foolish...very, very foolish.

Sephiroth drew his Masamune blade, and then his theme music HAD to start in the background.

_Estuans interius _

_ira vehementi _

_Estuans interius _

_ira vehementi _

_Sephiroth_

_Sephiroth_

"Aw crap..." Jimmy groaned, " Guess I have no choice"

Jimmy reached into his pockets and pulled out a small bomb that appeared to be sleeping.

" What is that?" Sephiroth asked with a raised eyebrow.

" Oh you'll see" Jimmy said and poked the bomb, " WAKE UP!"

The bomb woke up, blinked and looked at Sephiroth.

' _Zeeky Boogy Doog!'_

The Try N' Save went up in a mushroom cloud of epic proportions.

Kato, Jimmy, Ben, Sora and Sephiroth went flying through the air.

Five minutes later-

The five crash landed right in front of Kato's house. Luckily, They all landed on top of Sephiroth.

" GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" Sephiroth shouted while pushing everyone off of him.

" I'm so abused.." Ben wailed in pain.

Everyone sat on the ground. Woe to them for they were unable to complete their mission! TO GET KINGDOM HEARTS II. Jimmy started to cry.

Just then, a truck drove up the road and stopped in front of the five.

" Package for Shingetsu, Kato?" The man said.

" I'll sign" Kato said.

Kato signed the paper, got her package, unwrapped it to reveal the current holy grail.

Kingdom Hearts II was in Kato's hands.

" BITCH'N!" Kato shouted.

Kato ran inside the house, followed by Ben and Jimmy.

LATER-

Jimmy was busy playing Kingdom Hearts II. Ben had passed out because of everyone's favorite French Whore smelling perfume (Lolita Lempicka).

And so, Kato had to do something of a devious nature.

THE NEXT MORNING!

Jimmy was STILL playing Kingdom Hearts. Kato came into the front room, hair now curly. And unfortunately, Ben had his hair in dreadlocks. Kato took a snapshot with her camera and Ben woke up.

" Naaa...I'm supposed to be somewhere else" Ben groaned. The he noticed Kato was snickering. " Wha-...What is it?"

" Nothing, nothing man!" Kato said trying to pull a straight face, " Everything's cool otouto-chan!"

" Oooook" Ben said and then walked into the bathroom.

" 3...2..1" Kato grumbled.

" YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ben ran out and charged at Kato, " WHY DID YOU PUT MY HAIR INTO DREADLOCKS?"

" You dissed the Lolita Lempicka" Kato said calmly.

" I look like a freak!" Ben said.

" Dude...your already a freak" Jimmy said, not taking his eyes off the video game.

" Hey you look cool with dreadlocks" Holly said while walking in. She let out a yawn.

" Really?" Ben asked. Holly gave a nod.

" Umm...ok then" Ben said and flopped back onto the couch. Kato, Holly and somehow Sora joined him. " So...sacred circle anyone?"

" YEAH!"

And so- That's what happened for the month that ACLOTR's wasn't in the works...

...Oh yeah. And somewhere in there, Virus was posted...can't remember where though.

* * *

Next time on ACLOTR's:

The story resumes it's 'normal' course. And! A bet is made on who can get Holly as a girlfriend. This isn't only story based, you the fans get to place bets too!

Will explain next chapter- peace out! (plays with curly hair and giggles " THE CURLS!")


	26. Yet another Shindig

Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, claim no ownership to any of the anime/Videogames/ lotr's in this story. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven appear for the purpose of entertainment...so don't hate them. Holly and Haru are owned by me.

April 8th, 2006- Holy shnaps! I'm surprised I've kept up with my new years resolution this long (a chapter a week with my stories). Virus has kept me busy, but now I can finish AC.

* * *

Chapter 26- Yet another Shindig

* * *

The third installment of Anime Charaters do the Lord of the Rings will open with a song written by Kato Shingetsu.

_This is the thiiiiirrrrd moooovieeeee_

_The Third Moooooviieeee..._

_If you read this far you already knoooooow_

_What's been going ooooonnnnn!_

_But for those who haven't_

_Here's a reeeeeecaaaaap:_

_Oh! Tsukasa got's a ring and he has to go on a quest_

_Destroy the one ring in his/her Sunday best_

_Teamed up with a bunch of anime_

_Kato's been working on this since her holiday_

_It's the third movie, third movie!_

_I'm coming up with this off the top of my head_

_Once upon a time I slept in a bed!_

_Now we had a big battle scene_

_Big laughs, and a scream. _

_Ohhhh Sacred circle, fighting sequence_

_Anti-Kato Shingetsu club is behind the fence_

_Now I must close this song,_

_Please enjoy the last mooooovieeeeeeee!_

_Don't hurt me..._

* * *

" That was seriously fucked up" Steven said to Kato. Kato shrugged her shoulders.

" But I could do" Kato said.

* * *

Anyway once upon a time there were these twins named Aki and Aya.

The two were in a boat fishing in a river. Now Aya had never fished before, so Aki found it super freaky when Aya caught a giant fish...

Or what they though was a giant fish...

Aya fell off the boat and found the ring at the bottom of the river. Aya swam to shore and saw Aki waiting for her. Aki saw the ring...and alas- Mikage was born.

" Gimme the ring..it's my birthday Aya!" Aki said

" Uhhh were twins..it's my birthday too!" Aya said with a smile.

Aki went berserk and killed Aya- All for a silly gold ring

* * *

" WAKIE WAKIE EGGS AND BAKIE!"

Aki woke up Tsukasa and Karou by shouting in their ears. It was time to get up and travel on foot. Y'know, walking bare foot to a giant volcano- it's all in a days work.

But no one really cares about that...We all care more about the bishounen/bishojo who are traveling in the woods. I'm talking about Yoko, Kagome, Inuyasha and a bunch of other people that don't count as bishies.

" I'm sure she forgot to put my name down" Kuwabara said proudly.

Kato began to snicker.

For some reason, the group ran into Aki, Tsukasa and Karou. Before Tsukasa could see Yoko, she was blindfolded by Aki.

" What's up?" Kagome asked the three.

" Nothing much..." Karou said dully.

" Uh...you know Aki's evil, right?" Yoko asked Karou.

" Oh yeah" Karou said, " It didn't take me long to realize that one.."

" Ok then...were done here" Yoko said.

The two parties went their separate ways and Tsukasa was un blindfolded.

" I thought I heard Yoko's voice..and saw him for a brief moment.." Tsukasa said in a daze.

" No you didn't!" Karou said

" But..something tells me Yoko is still alive" Tsukasa said

" I AM ALIVE YOU FOOL!" someone shouted in the distance.

Anyway the more important bishie group went to Isenguard...or Izu...OR WHATEVER!

Shippo, Rini and Sano were playing poker on the wall.

" Royal Flush!" Rini shouted showing her hand, " I win again!"

Shippo and Sano let out a groan, that was the seventh time Rini won.

The company walked in, seeing Shippo and Rini alive was great to see. Inuyasha just had to give Shippo a bop on the head for joy.

" Beryl's gone recluse" Sano said to Yoko.

Shippo looked down to see a small orb floating in the water. How did it get there you ask?

Well...(in on gasp of air) Dante from Devil May Cry stole the Palentier and ran down the tower. He felt the ecstasy of doing a crazy stunt when then, Dante pushed off the tower wall..

And then Dante was eaten by a giant flying whale. The Orb fell into the water.

So naturally everyone gave the orb to Yoko. Sure Yoko was a thief and couldn't be trusted by anyone... But hey! He wouldn't sell out the group!

Would he?

" Now we party!" Koenma said

Oh the party was fun! Everyone knows that getting piss drunk and dancing on tables in always fun at a victory party.

But alas! Everyone ended up passing out on the floor because of the heavy drinking. Save Yusuke because he's got a strong alcohol tolerance.

* * *


	27. Everyone's got the flu

Disclaimer: I wish I owned some Sea-Salt Ice cream, but I don't. I don't own the lord of the rings, any anime, or videogames stated within this fanfiction. I own Holly and Haru. Ben, Steven and Jimmy are appearing because they are my muses.

April 15th, 2006- I have Kingdom Hearts 2 fever. I've been playing it since it came out. I love the song Sanctuary sooo much!

Chapter 27: Everyone's got the flu...

Kato was sitting at her work table. A fan that had a bowl of ice in front of it was cooling Kato as she wrote her fanfictions. But alas! It was still too hot for her.

" Time for a break" Kato said as Ben walked in. Unfortunately, the poor prairie-dog youkai had the flu.

" Xx...sniffle..." Ben said and groaned, " I need Cure III...or something with Vitamin C"

" Aww poor Otouto-chan!" Kato said and clapped her hands twice, " Nurse Holly!"

" I don't nee-" Ben began to say.

Just then, Holly walked in dressed in a skimpy nurses outfit.

" I'm here!" Holly said with a smile and clipboard in hand.

" O.o...um.. I'm sick" Ben said, thinking this wouldn't be so bad after all.

" UHH I'm sick too!" Jimmy said joining in, " AUGH THE PAIN OF IT ALL!"

" Ok Jimmy you'll be taken care of by Haru" Holly said

Haru is pushed out and is wearing a pink nurses dress.

" I hate yooou!" Haru shouted to Holly.

------------

Tsukasa and Karou are sleeping, dreaming about what every 17-18 year old girl dreams about.

Sora from Kingdom Hearts 2 stripping-

Everyone stopped and gave Kato a weird look.

" Whaa?" Kato whined and looked around.

Aki is mumbling in his sleeping about 'Kill Tsukasa and Karou' and ' Riku is such a hottie'. So Aki woke up and was now having a schizophrenic conversation.

" We need a hit man and fast!" Aki said.

" Patience Aki" Mikage said, " I know just the one.."

" Who?" Aki asked

" Let's just say she's merciless" Mikage said.

" Barbie?" Aki said.

" No!" Mikage said.

" The Powerpuff Girls!" Aki said with glee.

" HELL NO!" Mikage shouted.

" Organization XIII?" Aki shouted.

" NOOOO!"

Speaking of Organization XIII-

Nurse Holly was giving Ben a cup of hot tea when all of a sudden-

Demyx snuck up behind Holly and had to lift up the back of her skirt.

" I likey I like!" Demyx said with that perverted grin on his face (a/n- c'mon people Demyx is such a perv!)

Nurse Holly let out a growl and turned demonic.

CRACK-BAM-BAM-CRACK-CRACK-CRACK!

" YAHHHHHIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

Demyx ended up in a body cast and was lying in a bed across from Jimmy.

" So..." Jimmy asked, " what color were her panties?"

"..Gimmie that dinner roll and I'll tell you" Demyx said.

" Deal"

----------------------

Meanwhile, Steven was running around.

" OUTTA THE WAY!" Steven shouted.

People jumped out of the way in fear that Steven was going to taser them or something, " Oi Kato!"

" Na?" Kato said in a half daze.

" I just noticed something" Steven said.

" That your not a robot?" Kato asked.

"...no...We don't have a person for Aki's said assassin" Steven said.

" Oh don't worry about that!" Kato said, " I got the biggest bad guy down for the part"

" Sephiroth?" Steven asked

" Out with the flu..." Kato said

Sephiroth gave the thumbs up because he was being taken care of by none other then Nurse Holly.

" Sir Auron?" Steven asked.

" Busy building a house of cards..." Kato said and then whispered the name of the assassin in Steven's ear.

----------------------------

Inuyasha and Kagome were on lookout outside.

But inside- it happened.

Shippo decided to try and steal the orb thingy from Yoko.

Well for the first...oh wait second time in his life, Yoko was caught off guard and Shippo was able to steal the orb thingy.

" _To make a call please say the name of person" _the orb thingy said.

" Ohhhh...ahh...Jack Sparrow!" Shippo decided on the delirious pirate.

" _Calling Sesshomaru!" _the orb thingy said...boy that's one messed up orb thingy.

And then Shippo saw hell in the form of a dog demon.

"What's going on mates?" Jack Sparrow said and took a swig of his rum.

" Hey this is my time pirate!" Sesshomaru shouted.

" Ohhhh..V.V" Jack said and walked off.

" AHH IT'S SESSHOMARU!"

Everyone woke up and ran around like a chicken with their head cut off.

Save Yoko, who quickly covered the orb thingy with a blanket.

Shippo was knocked out but then revived thanks to Yoko.

" I saw a spikey haired demon...he was all possessed!" Shippo wailed.

" Nice going Shippo" Yoko mumbled, " Now we have to split up again!...But at least we get to go visit Hiei"

------------------


	28. Everyone angry

Disclaimer: I'm getting tired of writing this! I don't own the anime/ videogames/ LOTR's. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are appearing out of the goodness of their hearts ( Except Jimmy...we think he's a heartless). Holly and Haru are owned by me.

April 21st, 2006- I'm dead...X.x...(is cured) ok folks..I'm a bit burned out today so let's all get some coffee m'k?

-----

Chapter 28- Lots of angry non-anime characters throw a tantrumeatchicken

-----

Speaking of the sixth ring of hell.

Kikyo and her posse were walking on a road. They were all kicked out of Kenshin's home for possession of shrooms. The lesson?- Don't do shrooms kiddies!

While walking to the bus that will take them to rehab, Kikyo started to go on a trip of her own. Kikyo saw Kagome getting married to Inuyasha. Which is completely wrong seeing how Kagome is playing as Legolas...But as we all know, Kato is for the KagomeXInuyasha pairing. Sorry folks- But a corpse is a corpse, no matter how much you love it.

Kikyo ditched the rehab group and went back to Kenshin's. Her new mission was to stop the wedding from happening.

------------

" I told you to go to rehab!" Kenshin shouted to Kikyo.

Kikyo was about to protest, but she was pushed out of the way and over a railing by Kato.

" Ahnn nobody cares about you" Kato said, " Besides it's time I did my authoress intervention"

" You've been doing that since the story started" Sephiroth commented

" Oh go f-ck Aerith" Kato said, she was very irritated for some reason.

Everyone's eyes went wide when Kato said her last comment. Hell even Sephiroth was at a loss for words. Kato went up to Kenshin and whispered something in his ear.

"-green jelly beans, alright?" Kato said.

" It will be done, that it will" Kenshin said

------------

Kenshin gave Toto-sai the shards of Tetsuaiga.

" We want you to re-forge Tetsuaiga" Kenshin said to Toto-sai.

Toto-sai looked at the base and shards, it looked like a tough job.

" Were going to need another binding agent" Toto-sai said.

" SAY NO MORE!" Kenshin said with a grin.

Kenshin took out a pair of pliers from his pockets and walked off stage. What they needed was a tooth to rebind Tetsuaiga into a swords again.

Unfortunately, Kenshin picked the wrong person to donate a tooth. Kenshin "accidentally" grabbed Ben and pulled out one of his teeth. The poor guy was brushing his teeth when this happened.

" AHHHH WHY GOD! WHY ME?" Ben shouted

" We need you tooth to rebuild your blade" Kenshin explained.

" IS MY NAME INUYASHA?" Ben shouted and then pointed to his name tag. It read ' _Hello my name is Th3 3vil 0v3r10rD'_.

Luckily for Ben, Holly walked in and healed him using an Elixer. Those Elixers are always so gosh darn cool...and colorful...

...and flashy...

Anyway, Kenshin walked off to find Inuyasha.

Second times a charm?

Well Kenshin ended up using the pliers on Ansem...the heartless Ansem, not Ansem the Wise.

" WHAT THE FUCKS YOUR PROBLEM?"

------

Meanwhile-

Yoko was taking Shippo to the Minas Tirith place. Because the authoress didn't want to spend a lot of money on renting a giant castle, she just stole _The World That Never Was _( from Kingdom Hearts II) and spray painted it white.

Rather then taking 15 freaking hours to go through all 7 doors- the two just teleported to the main castle. Kato would have protested, but she was too busy glomping Axel.

" My current love!" Kato cooed.

" Get this thing off of meee" Axel said, " Help me Roxas!"

Alas! Roxas was too busy being Emo with Riku and Sora.

Anyway.

" I can't believe Hiei was pulled into this fanfiction too" Yoko said.

Shippo was silent.

" Hard to believe he's possessed" Yoko said.

Shippo is still silent.

"...Aren't you supposed to say something?" Yoko asked the smaller Kitsune.

" I thought I was supposed to keep my mouth shut" Shippo said

" Oh right. Shut up then" Yoko said, " Don't tell Hiei anything about Bear, the Ring, this fanficiton, nothing"

" ...What about him being Yukina's brother?" Shippo asked.

"...That's actually ok" Yoko said.

The two kitsune's walked into the hall to see Hiei sitting on a futon. Hiei was eating sweet snow.

" Hiei how's the job going?" Yoko asked.

" I hate being here" Hiei said, " Everyone's all effin crack happy. I liked it when the nobodies where around"

" Oh and I heard someone died" Hiei said after taking another bite out of his sweet snow

" Really? How tragic" Yoko said

" Yeah..." Hiei said.

" Bear! Your son died you moron!" Shippo shouted.

" Shippo!"

" I'll fight in place of Bear!" Shippo said.

Yoko flipped Shippo out of the way with his staff, " Not now! We've got work to do"

" I'm not working with some half breed!" Hiei said.

" Oh...you know about Inuyasha" Yoko said, " Well my covers blown...We'll try again later..."

And somewhere in the sixth ring of hell, an authoress was still glomping Axel.

----------------------------

I COMMAND YOU TO REVIEW!


	29. Sephiroth goes on a tangent

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime or video game characters you see in this fanficiton. I also do not own the Lord of the Rings. Same goes for the family guy movie. Holly and Haru are mine. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are muses.

April 29, 2006- I got Advent Children today! It was great to watch. Anyway I've got some news- SJKatana says he's finished the first chapter to his vision of Anime Characters Do the Lord of the Rings and I wish to congratulate him...YOU GO HONEY!

Chapter 29- Sephiroth goes on a tangent...yet again...

Tsukasa, Karou and Aki were outside eating lunch. They were resting right outside of Akito's fort. Just then, Akito came out with his entire army. The entire army didn't even pay attention to Tsukasa, Karou and Aki boozing it up. The army just walk by, not noticing.

So the three continued on their journey to destroy the ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL.

Meanwhile, Yoko was leading Shippo around The White City (a. k. a. Twilight Town). Yoko gave Shippo a small, but important mission.

" So pick up my dry cleaning and some lunch for me, ok?" Yoko said to the smaller Kitsune.

" Why should I?" Shippo mumbled.

" Because I'm older and bigger then you" Yoko said.

" Don't forget more albino" Sephiroth said as he walked by.

" Not as pale as you!" Yoko said to Sephiroth.

Sephiroth gave a sigh and began to go on a tangent.

" One day when you people least expect it, I will become a god amongst you pathetic humans. I will use this planet as a vessel to sail into the depths of darkness-"

While Sephiroth was going off on his tangent, Jimmy walked up behind Sephiroth. Jimmy held up his right index finger, then his left index finger. With one swift swing, Jimmy knocked his two fingers together and quickly stuck up his middle and index finger on his right hand, taking down his left index finger. (Creating the same Jesus magic show as seen in The Family Guy Movie)

Sephiroth got so mad at Jimmy that he turned around and swiftly cut off Jimmy's hand.

" AHHHHHHHHH!" Jimmy screeched, " WTF YOU CUT OFF MY HAND YOU BASTARD!"

Nurse Holly ran in and assessed the situation.

" You cut off Jimmy's hand!" Holly asked Sephiroth.

" Umm...no I didn't" Sephiroth said, hiding his 7 foot long sword behind his back.

" How stupid do you take me for?" Holly said to Sephiroth.

" No, no, no! Your a smart girl!" Sephiroth said with a grin, " Let's talk about this little trifle over lunch"

"...Ok!" Nurse Holly said to Sephiroth.

The two walked off to lunch and Jimmy keeled over because of blood loss.

Shippo was busy walking around Twilight Town...wait hold that thought-

Kato stops writing and chows down on a slice of pie.

" YUMMY!" Kato managed to say.

" Your stopping the story just so you can eat pie?" Ben asked Kato.

" Not just any pie" Kato said to Ben, " Peace pie..."

" Ooo can I have a slice?" Axel asked.

Kato gave Axel a nod. So the three enjoyed a piece of pie.

Where were we...OH YEAH! Shippo was busy playing errand boy for Yoko. He saw some guys guarding a beacon and decided to play a prank.

" You see the struggle round last night?" one guard asked the other.

Just then, a giant pink ball popped right in front of them. The pink ball screamed, " RAWWWWWRRRRR!" and the guards ran off.

Shippo played pyromaniac and lit the beacon with Fox Fire. This made a chain reaction of beacon's being lit by random anime characters and such. Finally a beacon light reached Inuyasha's eye sight.

Inuyasha just sat there for a few moments. Then a stagehand ran up to Inuyasha and whispered something in his ear.

"...Really?" Inuyasha asked. The stagehand gave a nod and Inuyasha ran up into the small castle.

" THEBEACONTHINGYSLIT!" Inuyasha shouted.

" What?" Kagome asked, " Bacon?"

" No the becaon" Inuyasha said to the group, " It's like a huge fire pit"

" Oh that" Koenma said, "...fine we'll go to Twilight Town"

By the time the beacons are lit, the small island near Twilight Town is over run by Heartless. All of the soldiers, including Koga begin to retreat

So the darkness began to spread really quickly. Yoko was about to go out and pull off this really cool Holy Light special effect to chase away the Darkness.

But then Sora (pauses), Donald (pauses), and Goofy come in and take on the army.

" Hey it's Sora...Donald...Goofy" Cloud said.

" What's with the pausing?" Steven asked.

" It's...one of the flaws in...the voiceover" Aerith said slowly.

So Sora...Donald...and Goofy fought off the small army of heartless. All the while a choir is singing it's song as the darkness recedes.

"...I could have done that" Yoko grumbled.


	30. It's chapter 30!

Disclaimer for dummies: Don't own, don't sue. Holly and Haru are mine. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are muses.

5-20-2006: Kato's been neglecting the story because she is freaking out about school. But Kato will pass junior year so help her God!...Kato likes talking in third person.

Anyway on with the fic-

Chapter 30: Shippo's interrupted monologue

" What's a monologue?" Cloud asked

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. Nobody was ever going to tell the puppet what a monologue was. And he'll probably never be able to find out.

" Ok time to get back to work!" Kato said as she checked the DVD's chapter to see where she was in the story. Kato was only on chapter 18 of 60, this made Kato cry.

" Aww don't cry Kato" Ben said, " Dirge of Cerberus should be here soon"

" What have I gotten myself into!" Kato said. Ben gave her a shoulder shrug.

" Why not end it n-" Ben began to say.

But Kato (for some reason) went demonic and grew to 20 feet tall.

" DoN't YoU dArE fInIsH tHaT sEnTeNaNcE!" Kato scowled.

" (O.O) HOLY CRAP!" Ben shouted and got the hell out of the room. Sorry folks but a demonic Kato is a dangerous Kato.

Anyway, Akito was busy giving out orders to his...her evil army.

" I want that city destroyed by tea time!" Akito shouted to hi-...her dark army.

" Yes Misses Sohma..." The army said dully.

Just then Tohru came into the camp to serve everyone onigiri. But Akito, being the bitch that she is, innocently nudged Tohru off of the Cliffside.

" AHHHHHHHHHHH...desu!" screamed Tohru.

" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Yuki and Kyo.

Koga was going to gasp for air before he said something, but Hiei interrupted him.

" I hate you..." he said

Koga frowned and walked off.

" Awwww" Shippo said, feeling sorry for Koga.

Meanwhile, Tsukasa, Karou and Aki were busy snoozing on a ledge. Yeah because that's what you do, you sleep on a ledge that's over jagged rocks. Realllllly smart kiddies!

Tsukasa was dreaming about a never ending bowl of candy. Karou dreamt that she was dancing with a sake bottle.

Aki...let's face it, Aki wasn't dreaming, he was scheming!

Aki slowly out of his sleeping bag and crept over to Karou. " God what a pig" he whispered. Karou mumbled something in her sleep that sounded like, " Yorgismorgie".

Anyway Aki took Karou's knapsack and dumped out all over the food and threw it over the ledge. The food crumbled because of the jags. Aki only kept a lollipop that he put in Karou' hair. Not only to frame Karou..but to mess up her hair as well

" TSUKASA-SAN!" Aki shouted, " TSUKASA-SAN WAKE UP!"

Tsukasa woke up with a yelp, " What is it?" she asked.

" Karou ate all the food!" Aki said, showing her the empty knapsack.

Karou woke up in a daze, " Morning..iz it time to eat?" she said with a yawn.

" Looks like you already did busu!" Aki scowled while pointing to the lollipop in Karou's hair.

" What!" Karou said while pulling the lollipop out of her hair, causing some major pain.

"I think she should leave" Aki said.

" I...I concur..." Tsukasa said, " Karou...go home..."

" What...you can't expect me to leave you with this monster" Karou said.

" Aki is not a monster!" Tsukasa shouted, " Unlike you he actually knows what I'm going through! Please...leave"

Karou slowly walked away while Aki led Tsukasa up the path.

Shippo was busy trying to entertain Hiei with his song monologue. Unfortunately, Kato accidentally jabbed herself with her pencil.

" AHHHHHH! LEAD POISONING!" Kato shouted.

" HA-HA!" Ben laughed (a'la Nelson).

Kato's eyes began to swirl as she hyperventilated.

" WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Shippo shouted at Kato. Kato fell over sick.

" This is beginning to get pathetic..." Jimmy grumbled.

" Tell me about it" Yoko said.


	31. It's good to be the King

May 29, 2006- happy summer vacation everyone! Now I can finish this story!

Chapter 31: It's good to be the King

Meanwhile with Inuyasha and his group. Everyone was preparing for the next battle.

" And Sango's in love with Inuyasha!" Kagome said in a sing-song tone of voice.

" NO I"M NOT!" Sango shouted

Koenma was busy drawing up battle plans with some crayons.

" We'll have to take on Sesshomaru" Inuyasha said to Koenma.

Just then, a harsh wind blew from the haunted road.

Inuyasha O.o...

" What the hell was that?" Inuyasha asked

" That?..Oh that's just the ghouls from the dead road" Koenma said, " Best to leave them alone"

Later at Night.

Sango was busy training with Rini as a dark figure approached the settlement.

" I am looking for someone, that I am" he said.

The dark figure was led to a tent where Iunyasha was busy eating ramen noodles.

" Here's your sword!" Kenshin said and tossed Inuyasha Tetsuaiga.

" WAHOOOOOOOO!" Inuyasha shouted (the size of the script is supposed to be 72...but hey).

" Might I suggest something?" Kenshin asked

' On the dead trail is a King who needs forgiveness from sins from his past. Inuyasha, you must go and find the King of the Dead'

Inuyasha headed out to the dead trail and was joined by Kagome and Kuwabara.

" We heard what Kenshin said and were coming with you" Kuwabara said.

The next day, everyone barely noticed that the three were missing. Rini was turned down as a solider but was soon picked up by a cross dressing demon hunter.

" Come on little scout, were going to fight to" Sango said to Rini.

But one demon hunter and one sailor scout cannot make a difference against a huge army...

A very huge army...

Kato (the writer of this fanfiction) and Ben (one of the muses) were sitting on top of the walls of Twilight Town, both were enjoy sea-salt ice cream (if only it existed). Kato hummed a tune as Ben's eyes went wide at what he saw.

" Kato..." Ben said worried.

" Yeah" responded the writer and opened her eyes to see the huge army, " Holy crap"

" How did you hire all of these extras?" Yoko asked.

And there read a sign to the right of the three that read: Free Cookies Inside.

" I think we'll need more cookies Kato" Ben said.

" I think your right...TO THE KITCHEN!" Kato shouted

Anyway Inuyasha, Kagome and Kuwabara were going through the dead path when a voice echoed.

" Who dare enters my domain!"

In faded the King of the Dead, who was Sora...wearing his Halloween Town costume.

" That's a pretty gay costume" Kuwabara commented.

" IS NOT! GET THE INTRUDERS!" Sora shouted.

Thousands of dead soldiers appeared and surrounded the three living.

" You can't win" Sora growled.

But then Inuyasha took out Tetsuaiga, Kagome pulled out a sacred arrow, and Kuwabara pulled out his Spirit Sword.

" O-ook maybe you can eheheheh" Sora said with a sweatdrop on his head, " What can we help you with?"

So everyone sat down for tea and Kagome explained the current situation.

"- so it would really be great if you could help us out!" Kagome said.

Sora was currently getting a back massage by ghost-slaves/whores (hey it's good to be the King).

" Sure...why not!" Sora said and then shouted to his dead soldiers, " LET US MARTCH!"


	32. Kato's Sad

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings, any anime or video games you see in this fanficton are owned by respective creators. Holly and Haru were created by me. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are my muses.

Chapter 32- Kato's Sad

We left off with a giant army about to lay siege on Twilight Town.

Kato is sad because she had the (TT) facial expression.

The heartless army had to have their very own kick ass dumb solo. The gates quickly opened for one severely wounded solider- Koga. See, Koga thought he saw Kagome on top of the mountain...so he ran head first into battle.

That's what happens when you trust mirages.

Of course Hiei spazzed out, he thought Koga was dead.

Koga was only seriously wounded. A few days rest and Koga would be back on his feet.

But Hiei decided to skip that part and went straight for the cremating process.

Now Riku was once again General of the Dark Army. He decided to ease the town by catapulting something to them.

It ended up being cookies. That's right folks it was raining cookies in Twilight Town.

Ben ran out, " YAY IT'S RAINING COOKIES!" he shouted and grabbed one to munch on. Shippo had a happy look on his face (.) while Kato was still moping around (TT).

Anyway Hiei was busy weep-

Hiei gave the narrator a death glare.

Sorry, cry-

Hiei still gave the narrator a death glare.

Sob-

" I. Don't. Cry" Hiei said to the narrator.

" Fine, Lamenting then?"

"...No" Hiei said.

" To bad!"

Hiei began to shout about how it was the end of the world and everyone doomedn. But then Yoko came and bashed him in the head.

" Sorry" Yoko muttered to Hiei.

Now Yoko was in charge of the army (yay).

Steven gave use of his trebuchet to the army. (a/n: No really! Steven has a trebuchet!)

A rock came flying at Riku, who merely side stepped the rock.

" I'm too sexy to die" Riku said with a smirk.

Finally- The Flying Furuba Nazgul returned. Akito, Uo, Kagura, Momiji, Kyo, Shigure, Hana and Ayame attacked Twilight Town.

Yoko counted the number of Nazgul in the sky, " Wait...they're missing one" Yoko said.

" Yeah I killed Tohru" Akito said.

" YOU BASTARD!" Uo, Kagura, Momiji, Kyo, Shigure, Hana, Ayame, Ben, Yoko and Shippo shouted at Akito. Tohru was such a sweet girl, she didn't deserve to 'die'.

" Technically I'm a bitch!" Akito said.

Kato was still moping (TT).

Now we all know that Yoko's an experience fighter. But Shippo still got to save Yoko from a small Heartless.

So yay.

Insert more kick as drum solo.

Oh and the Dark Army had a flaming battering ram.

Meanwhile- Tsukasa was being led to Mt. Doom by Aki. Nawww she was just being led to her doom.

Aki pointed to the creepy tunnel, " Go down that way!" he said sweetly.

" T.T ok.." Tsukasa said sadly.

Kato (TT)

So Tsukasa went in- poor gullible Tsukasa. And who should appear out of nowhere but Mukuro.

" Hi...let's be friends" Tsukasa said.

Mukuro gave Tsukasa an evil death glare.

Karou was traveling down the hill when she heard Tsukasa scream for her life.

" Tsukasa-san!...I have to help her!"

Tsukasa remembered Aerith's last words of wisdom.

" _Always remember to rip your hairstylists!" _

This didn't help Tsukasa for the time being. So Tsukasa continued to run until she was caught in some sticky, spider-web like material.

I'm gonna say it's a giant spider web.

Aki came in and began to sing some country western song.

" Country western's gay!" Tsukasa shouted.

Tsukasa got so enraged at Aki singing that he was able to cut through her bonds and she went after Aki. But Aki jumped on Tsukasa and was grabbing for the ring, of course to some people it looked a bit different.

" AHHH DATE RAPE!" Tsukasa shouted at the top of her lungs.

Tsukasa kicked Aki over a ledge, we won't be seeing him for a while. Tsukasa stood up and was all alone.

Then...she heard a voice. She thought it was Aerith what with the long hair...

But it turned out to be Sephiroth.

_" Aerith isn't here right now, so please leave your name, number and a brief message after the beep"_ Sephiroth said and imitated a beep.

" Never mind" Tsukasa said and stepped out of the LSD trance.

" Ok...I'm gonna make it after all!" Tsukasa said

Just then Mukuro came up behind Tsukasa and stabbed her.

" Or not.." Tsukasa mumbled and fell over.


	33. Dane Cook Says!

Disclaimer: This is a humor-parody based fanfiction. I do not own the Lord of the Rings or any anime/video game characters in this fanfiction. Holly and Haru are owned by me. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are muses...scary muses...but none the less muses.

Chapter 33: Dane Cook says!

Back at Twilight Town-

The Dark Army had given up on Trebuchets and decided on using their latest creation.

The flaming battering ram. While Yoko lead the soldiers to the gate, Shippo was wandering aimlessly around town. And then Shippo saw something weird.

A funeral procession for Koga.

The gate was breached and in stormed thousands on 100ft giant native American Indians.

" What the hell?" everyone (cast and crew) said.

" Oh sorry, sorry!" Kato said, erasing the last part, " Too much Dane Cook. REDO THAT!"

" ACLOTR'S take 33. ACTION!" shouted Ben.

-In stormed giant shadow heartless that towered over the soldiers. None the less the battle raged on.

Meanwhile

So Mukuro stabbed Tsukasa and Tsukasa was now half way dead. But then in came Karou, who saved the day.

" I have something you want!" Karou said to Mukuro.

" And what would that be?" Mukuro asked.

Karou then took out her ace card. A plushie of Hiei. " Trade ya!" Karou said with a smile.

Mukuro reluctantly accepted the trace.

And miles away, two voice could be heard.

_' DAMMIT KURAMA!'_-Hiei shouted

_' It was a good idea at the time'_-Yoko said

FLASHBACK

_" Oi Karou" Yoko said and handed her the Hiei plushie._

_" What's this for?" Karou asked._

_" You'll know when the time comes" Yoko said in a wise tone._

_" And why do YOU have it?" Karou asked._

_" Eh?" Yoko said with a sweatdrop, " The flashback will end now!"_

END FLASHBACK

Just then Kato started to groan in pain and clutched her heart. " Dammit not again" she said and punched her chest a few times, " Ok...were cool!"

So Karou was about to go wake up Tsukasa when someone threw a Kenshin plushie out in the open.

" MINE!" Karou shouted and chased after the Kenshin plushie.

Some heartless walked in and saw the knocked out Tsukasa.

" Where's my Kenshin plushie?" the first heartless asked.

" Who cares let's take this guy" the second heartless said.

So the two heartless kidnapped Tsukasa.

Back at Twilight Town:

Shippo watched Koga be placed on a bed of oil drenched wood. Hiei was going to burn the poor wolf demon alive!

" I have to do something about this!" Shippo whispered to himself.

Hiei was beginning the eulogy when a giant pink ball poofed in front of the people.

" RAWR!" the giant pink ball roared and started to gnaw on Hiei's head, " Stop killing Koga!"

Yoko was busy fighting when he heard-

'DIE!'

'WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

Shippo was sent flying into the air and landed on top of Yoko.

" HIEISGONNABURNKOGAALIVE!" Shippo shouted

" Get off of me!" Yoko shouted.

Insert more brutal carnage here that Kato isn't used to writing...wait...where is Kato. Ben gave a sigh.

" Looks like I'm in charge...again.." Ben said but then grinned, " YAY CARNAGE!"

Ben went demonic and started to tear things down.

The with the morning came a giant pitcher of Kool-aid.

" Huh?" everyone (cast and crew) said confused.

" More Dane Cook"

With the morning light came reinforcements. The army led by Koenma (adult form), Yusuke and about 4,000 other people I don't have time to name.

Oh! Sango and Rini were there too!

" Oi! Your late!" Riku said.

So everyone rode into battle for glorious death. But you can't hear them scream death, only dayyy, because the sound system sucks!

Anyway Yoko and Shippo went to stop Hiei from burning Koga alive. Yusuke was having way to much fun beating up heartless.

Hiei was busy playing with matches...which isn't very smart kiddies.

" Don't play with matches" Yoko said.

Alas! Hiei was STILL playing with matches and lit himself on fire.

" WOAH!" Koga jumped up when he saw his 'father' light himself on fire. Koga jumped off the bed.

" So...your not dead?" Hiei asked while burning. Koga shook his head in the no possition.

" Oh..ok" Hiei said and ran off the ledge to commit suicide.

Squall (recently revived) walked onto the set, " I'm ready for a fight!"

But then Hiei landed on top of Squall. Although Hiei was saved from a bloody death, Squall was killed by impact of being struck by the flaming Hiei.

And then who should come by the reinforcements. The mercenaries. With their elephants and cool chants and brass sounding horns.

So the samurai thought they could take on the Mercenaries...yeah right they're riding giant elephants. Sango and Rini had an easy time fighting...Koenma wasn't going to be so lucky.

" I don't wanna be human again!" Yoko pleaded, " Oh never mind...Koenma's about to get his"

" Say what?" Koenma said.

Just then Akito merely bumped into Koenma, who fell over.

" Ow..that hurts!" Koenma said.

" Your supposed to be dead!" Akito whispered.

" Oh right" Koenma said and went with the (X.x) facial expression.

" AKITO!" Sango shouted and threw her large boomerang bone at Akito's dragon. The Dragon head was severed off .

" No my baby!" Akito shouted, " You'll pay"

Akito got off and charged at Sango. The two raged in a battle. But then Rini came and stabbed Akito in the back. Sango stabbed Akito in the head.

" Yes I get the best quote of the movie!" Sango said triumphantly, " I am no man!"

Akito died with a "Whaat" look on her face. Trust, us...were all a little perplexed with what Sango quoted.

" I'm still not dead" Koenma mumbled.


	34. Inuyasha vs Sesshomaru Finally

Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to The Lord of the Rings or any anime or video game you see in this fanfiction. Holly Slyvina and Haru were created by me (Kato Shingetsu) for entertainment purposes only. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are the muses.

June 3rd, 2006- When I look back at how this project began...gawd I was sooo fat (270 lbs). Now in my senior year I am 198 lbs...I am trying to get down to 160-150 lbs by the time I go home. Let's see I've lost a lot of weight and my face has cleared up on the count of I rarely drink soda anymore. I do exercise almost everyday...BUT I LOOOOOVE CANDY! XP.

Anyway on with the fanfiction.

Chapter 34: Inuyasha vs Sesshomaru (finally)

Some boat pull up outside of Twilight Towns port and out pop Inuyasha, Kagome and Kuwabara with Sora and his ghost army.

" Sorry were late" Sora said, " Now let's go kill some heartless!"

" Actually were all finished here" Yusuke commented

" What?" Inuyasha said.

" Yup. The dark army retreated!" Shippo said.

" But we bought a giant ghost army"

" You should have taken a train" Yoko said to the three

" But I don't get to do another ninja-elf stunt!" Kagome whined.

" Oh well.." Shippo said.

" I'm still not dead" Koenma commented while lying on the ground.

Just then, Sora noticed something. The 4,000 specters that were supposed to obey him were leaving.

" Hey where are you guys going?" Sora shouted.

" Jobs over" one of the specters said, " Were going to the Netherworld"

" Yeah...Hades instituted that everyday Saturday of the week would be Fiesta Day in the cafeteria" another specter say

" You care more about tacos then your King?" Sora asked.

" TACOS!" The specter army shouted triumphantly and faded back to hell.

Sora gave a sniffle, " I wanted a taco" he said quietly and turned to the group, " My army left me, can I stick around?"

" Sure!" Kagome said with a smile. Good ol' Kagome, she always decides things for the group with the others consent.

Anyway, Shippo had walked off to look at all the carnage that everyone had caused. And then Shippo tripped over Rini's hand. Both shouted a small yelp of pain.

" Rini!" Shipoo said.

" Shippo" Rini said

" YOUR ALIVE!" the both sighed and sobbed in each others arms.

Anyway Tsukasa woke up in a dark room to see that she was alone...and the ring was missing.

That's a double whammy right there.

" Edwina..." Tsukasa said with tears in her eyes. Edwina always listened to Tsukasa's pathetic problems. But now Edwina was gone- GONE I tell you.

But then a ray of light occurred. Karou snuck into the fortress where Tsukasa was being held captive and defeated all of the Heartless using her father's sword technique- Kamiya Kashin-Ryu...The sword that gives life.

I know it may seemed a bit farfetched but if you think about it, it's not.

Heartless being defeated by a Sword the give Life...it happened.

Karou tried to kick down the door that led to Tsukasa's prison cell, but got her foot caught in the door. So she jerked her foot out and this time...used the door knob.

" Karou?" Tsukasa said.

" Tsukasa are you alright?" Karou asked.

But then the two heard a _'Meeeep' _noise. Edwina meeped in excitement that her bitc- I mean master was near. Ever gave a O.O facial expression.

" Holy shit the ring just squeaked!" Kato shouted

" Gimme my ring!" Tsukasa commanded her friend.

"...ok.." Karou said in a meek tone.

" Precious Edwina...", Tsukasa cooed as she put the ring necklace on.

So the two walked through Sesshomaru's territory in some heartless solider clothing. For some reason, Karou had to hum the Hallow Bastion battle theme (Scherzo di Notte).

" I love this show" Kato cooed with a smile on her face.

Anyway back in the now fixed up Twilight Town. We join Inuyasha, Yoko, Rini, Shippo, and Kagome. They were playing Rich Man, Poor Man while Kuwabara was STILL trying to write a letter to Yukina. (-.-..)

" Were gonna have to fight Sesshomaru now while he's recovering" Yoko commented.

Inuyasha nodded and put down four aces, " I'll distract him..."

And so everyone from Twilight Town suit up and went for Sesshomaru's territory.

And Sesshomaru bought the bait. The Heartless went towards the gate while Tsukasa and Karou went towards the volcano. Everyone lined up in front of the gate and Inuyasha bashed on the door.

" Sesshomaru! It's time to end this pathetic fanfiction!" Inuyasha shouted

The large doors creaked opened to show ten thousand plus heartless of all shapes and sizes. Sesshomaru was a bit preoccupied with something he thought he saw. Alas! It was only Tsukasa doing a little floaty dance.

Sesshomaru and his Heartless demons.

Inuyasha and the 'human' army.

This my friends was the ultimate battle.

" This is the ultimate battle of ultimate destiny!" Steven began to sing.

" Do shut up" Kato said to Steven.

Inuyasha (as soon to be king) got to have his important monologue about fighting to the death and honor and glory.

" I KNOW WHAT A MONOLOGUE IS NOW!" Cloud shouted with glee.

And everyone gasped because Cloud now knew what a monologue was.

" A monologue is where one person gets to have his or her very own speech!" Cloud said with a smile/

" Right so shut up!" Inuyasha said and continued his speech, " -Swordsmen and Samurai, dead and living...WE MUST FIGHT ON! THIS DAY WE TAKE BACK SUNDAY!"

" Huh?" Everyone asked.

" Just smile and nod" Inuyasha said to the army

So everyone smiled and nodded.

" CHARGE!"

Sesshomaru and Inuyasha charged at each other and their swords clashed.

Tsukasa just wanted to have a bit of rest. But alas! Karou picked up Tsukasa in an attempt to make the story go faster.

" Put me down!" Tsukasa demanded.

" Never!" Karou shouted.

As Karou carried Tsukasa, who should rear his ugly head but Aki/Mikage. Mikage bit Karou's shoulder and left Tsukasa to run into the volcanoes only room.

And then it had to happen-

Tsukasa had to go into a kick ass anti-form. It was like Sora's anti form only not a good time to turn into an evil heartless.

" Edwina is mine!" she said and put the ring on.

" Nani?" Sesshomaru said, " GO FIND MY RING NOW!"

" You fool..." Yoko thought as he knew what happened. Tsukasa had to put the ring on...

So the Furuba-Nazgul went off as the battle raged on outside.

Just then, Karou was knocked out by Aki and he went to attack the anti-Tsukasa. He ended up biting her finger off (ouchies) and got back the ring.

" Ayaaaaa..." Aki cooed, he was set for life.

The Tsukasa had to push Aki off the ledge.

" WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Aki melted into the lava- Ring and all.

Sesshomaru and his entire army were now powerless. The perfect chance for Inuyasha to go for the backlash wave.

" BAKURYU-HA!"

Sesshomaru, the Heartless, the Furuba-Nazgul were all blown away.

And the Ring was no more.

And Evil had been purged.

...Well except for Sephiroth but he's cool.


	35. Let's get married

Disclaimer- I do not own the lord of the rings, any anime or video game characters you see in this fanfiction. Holly and Haru are mine. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are muses and comic relief.

June 12th, 2006- GUESS WHAT EVERYONE! From June 13th to June 28th, this fanfiction will not be updated because I will be in Europe. But for now, enjoy this magical chapter.

Chapter 35- Let's get married.

Before the chapter began, Ben was busy playing around with Yoko's staff. He was busy stuffing Play-Dough into the little box attachment on the top. Yoko walked in to see this little predicament.

" Wh-What the hell are you doing!" Yoko shouted.

"..uh...This is exactly what it looks like..." Ben said after stammering for a moment.

" Are you retarded or something!" Yoko shouted while taking back his plastic prop.

" YES!" Ben answered, " AND UP UNTIL NOW EVERYONE HAD THE GOOD GRACES NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!"

-o.o-

Anyway the chapter begins with Tsukasa waking up to see a 'calm' Yoko.

" No way..." Tsukasa said in awe, " I DIED AND WENT TO HELL!"

Tsukasa began to cry about how she was always a good boy (O.o.)

" Damn it Tsukasa you didn't die" Yoko said with an eye roll, " You fainted. And I only cheated death"

Everyone ran in to see the awake and alive Tsukasa. It was a gay moment.

...You heard me... I said _moment_...that's right I went there...

And then the big day came. The day of Nine Weddings.

First Koga and Sango tied the knot in a traditional Japanese wedding. Then Shippo and Rini thought getting married meant 'let's eat cake'. So they got 'married' too.

Oddly, Hiei and Mukuro got married as well. But we are unable to report about the wedding because we at Fushigi Geki Ano Kato Shingetsu would be mercilessly slaughtered by the evil newlyweds.

In secret, however, Kuwabara and Yukina got married in a small chapel. Why? Because Kato thinks that since Kuwabara get's made fun of so many times he should at least get the girl...besides they make such a cute couple.

And then the shocker came ( This one's for you Tsubasa3!).

Shigure Sohma proposed to Miss Tohru Honda. And she accepted. Oh Tohru's wedding dress was sooooo beautiful! It was made by Ayame of course.

Cloud and Aerith were wed shortly after.

As was Sephiroth and his Masamune (O.o...).

Karou tricked Kenshin into getting married. I feel so sorry for the poor guy.

And finally came Kagome and Inuyasha's wedding.

Ben was busy straightening his tie, " Never thought I'd have to wear this again" he mumbled, " God I feel like such a tool!"

Kato stood right next to him straightening her tie, " How d'ya think I feel?" she asked, only to get a (O.o) facial expression from Ben.

In Kagome and Inuyasha's wedding, Mirkou was Inuyasha's best man and Sango was Kagome's maid of honor. Minako (Sailor Venus) got to be the flower girl. Kenshin, being a good respectable man got to perform the ceremony.

Anyway Kato walked out with Holly, arm in arm.

" coughLESBIANScough" a guy named Will-chan-san coughed.

Kato and Holly -.-;;

Ben walked out with Kairi (sorry Ben...)

" Kill me..." Ben grumbled.

" SMILE DAMN IT!" Kairi shouted into his ear.

Ben forced a scared smile as Mirkou walked out with Sango,

" So you and Koga eh?" Mirkou asked.

" Don't worry it's a fake" Sango said

The Kagome walked out in her bridal outfit. And the ceremony dragged on for about fifteen minutes.

And then SHE had to show up.

" I OBJECT TO THIS!" Kikyo shouted.

Everyone gasped, except for Ben...who was busy playing with his game boy.

Kato nudged Ben, " D00d pause the pokemon..." she said.

" huh...oh" Ben said and faked a gasp.

" This cannot happen!" Kikyou said while walking up the aisle, " I'm playing as Arwen therefore I should marry Inuyasha!"

" But your a freakin' corpse!" Sephiroth said.

" And Kagome's playing as a male character" Kikyo said.

People began to bicker...until someone finally stepped forward.

" SILENCE!" Jimmy shouted.

Everyone immediately shut up.

" Thank you" Jimmy said and cleared his throat, " As we all know, this is a fanfiction created by Kato Shingetsu"

" Tru dat!" Kato said.

" -Shut up!" Jimmy said, " Although Kagome is play a male character- we've tweaked with the material enough so that you know Kagome's a woman. They even do this in some productions of Shakespeare's _A Midsummer Night's Dream_- particularly with Puck. So Kagome's gender is not the issue. It's love. These two love each other. And that, my friends, is what matters"

Everyone looked at Jimmy in awe as he sat back down. Such wisdom from someone who is usually portrayed as a pervert is quite refreshing.

But then Jimmy blinked a couple of times and sounded like he just woke up.

" Woah!...What happened I blacked out" Jimmy said while looking around, " Where am I?"

" But I love Inuyasha!" Kikyo whined.

" Ya but your still a corpse and it's my damned fanfiction" Kato said and pointed her mechanical magical pencil at Kikyo, " So Adieu my dear"

In a bolt of lightening, Kikyo was sent to the Point of No Return (from The Phantom of the Opera...not owned by Kato Shingetsu).

" Please continue" Kato said to Kenshin.

" Ok..." Kenshin said, " This one now pronounces you Hanyou and wife..that he does!"

" YAY!"

So there was everyone at the giant reception for all nine weddings. Hey it was a lot cheaper then having nine separate receptions. Kato was busy getting a drink from the open bar.

" Damn it this drink's not cold" Kato whined.

Someone from Kato's side poked the drink and made it cold.

" Thanks" Kato said and looked over to see a girl who looked like Kikyo. Except she had a blue tint to her clothing, hair and eyes.

" Y-y-your...ColdKikyo-san?" Kato said to the dedicated reviewer.

" Yo..." ColdKikyo said while taking a sip of her sake, " Cheers"

Kato glomped Cold Kikyo, " HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" she said with a wide smile.

But Kagome and Inuyasha were no where to be found during the reception...they were-

...elsewhere...

" Let's you mind go wild!" Ben said with a maniacal laughter.

Fine to solve the mystery, Kagome and Inuyasha went out for pizza.


	36. The Honeymoon's over

Disclaimer- I do not own the Lord of the Rings, or any video game/ anime character you see in this fanfiction. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven are appearing in this fanfiction solely for entertainment purposes only. Holly and Haru are mine.

June 30th, 2006- Well folks, I think this is it. The end of the line for Anime Characters Do the Lord of the Rings. It has been three years since I started this fanfiction and all good things must come to an end. It has been an honor and privilege entertaining you all and I hope you will continue to enjoy the fanfictions I write.

Chapter 36- The honeymoons over.

We join Queen Beryl, who was locked in her tower at Izu...I mean Isenguard. It had been a while since she was put under house arrest.

But now, Beryl wanted revenge. Revenge on Tsukasa, Shippo, Karou and Rini. So Beryl went on a journey accompanied by Jaken. Who knows what evil deeds Beryl will attempt in Shi-Town!

Anyway...

We join everyone sitting in a reception hall. Kato was busy trying not to cry.

" Kato...it's just a fanfiction" Ben said, " No reason to get all bent out of shape"

" No...iz not that" Kato said, " While I was (sniffle) walking up here I tripped and kit my head on the stairs.. I hurt my knee and head"

Everyone had a sweatdrop on their heads because of Kato's statement.

Just then, Steven walked in with a worried look on his face.

" Hey people.." Steven said, " There's something you need to see"

So Steven led everyone to his AwEsOmE computer that can download stuff in .5 seconds. Only bad part was that it had one of those internet filters which makes going to the fun sites a pain in the ass. Steven typed in a few commands and showed everyone images of a now being ruined Shi-Town.

" Are these images live?" Tsukasa asked.

" Yup. See that kids being ripped in half by heartless as we speak!" Steven said with a happy tone.

" We gotta go help our familes!" Karou said

" YEAH!"

So Tsukasa, Rini, Karou and Shippo ran off to save their homeland. They left the others behind.

" So were not that important anymore?" Kuwabara asked.

" Dude...your never important..." Kato said.

-------

As Beryl was making slaves into all the Shi-Towner's, the four hero's hid behind a wall.

" Ok what's the plan" Rini asked.

Unfortunately, all four hero's remembered that they had no real fighting experience what-so-ever.

" Ok Rini and Shippo start begging for mercy in broken English, Karou you run around in circles. I'll lay in fetal position thinking about pancakes" Tsukasa said.

" That's your plan for everything Tsukasa-san" Karou said dully.

Just then, Beryl herself came into view with 300 heartless.

Yeah we all know (or should know) that Queen Beryl from Sailor Moon is one of the easiest characters to beat. Ever.

Ever.

She died within two seconds because Jaken torched her BBQ style. And then Jaken tripped on a rock and cracked his neck and died.

" Yay" Everyone cheered dully.

And that my friends is the end of our tale. Tsukasa, Yoko and Aerith went back home to Jap-...no wait the dem-...no...um...Lifestream work with everyone?

The day they left was a sad one. Sephiroth was hugging Aerith's leg.

" PLEASEEEE DON'T GOOO!" Sephiroth wailed, " Where will I go? Who will I kill?"

" Don't know don't care" Aerith answered while kicking Sephiroth away.

Sephiroth gave Aerith the puppy dog eyes and her heart melted.

" Aww alright you can come with us" Aerith said.

Kenshin and Karou lived a happy life. Karou gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Kenji. Rini and Shippo still caused mischief. Inuyasha and Kagome went on to destroy the Shikon Jewel. Kuwabara is STILL trying to defeat Yusuke (yeah right like that'll ever happy).

And that my friends, is Anime Characters Do the Lord of the Rings. It's been done.

The...End...


	37. Afterthoughts: Three Long Years

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

The following is an afterthought of the fanfiction Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings from the desk of Kato Shingetsu.

I must quote my drama teacher Evil Overlord Sensei Natale:

" _Three. Long. Years"_

It took me three long years to come to the end of the line with Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings. When I first began said project I was a bit nervous about writing it. I had just started my hobby as a fanfiction writer and I had gotten previous flames for a story ( all because I miss spelt Sephiroth's name). But the idea of Anime Characters acting out one of literatures finest works was just too irresistible to pass up.

As I wrote ACLOTR's, Ben and Jimmy (the muses) did a fantastic job with giving input and ideas. At one point in the beginning, it became clear that I shouldn't do word for word. I knew because Ben left me a note in my composition book stating:

" _Less word for word, more jelly filled doughnuts"_

...To this day I still have no idea about the jelly filled doughnuts bit.

I really did wake up at two o'clock in the morning and say: " Let's have Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings!". And at Two in the morning I picked out character rolls and the like.

In the case of Yoko being Gandalf. Simple explanation: Gandalf the Grey becomes Gandalf the White and is really, really smart. Yoko is albino and is really, really smart and deadly. Simple, no?

In the case of Kagome playing Legolas' part. It was my intention to have Kagome marry Inuyasha because I am not a fan of the InuyashaxKikyo paring. Why you ask I didn't make Kagome, Arwen? Because I didn't want to have to write a lot of lines for Kikyo...

Midway into the story, I realized that Kingdom Hearts would have made a great addition to the story. If I could have I would have made Organization XIII a more noticeable role in the story. Unfortunately when I started writing this I was more into the Anime aspect rather then Japanese Video Games ( Yeah right, .hack gets no respect).

I'm really glad I didn't make Sephiroth, Sauron in the story. Don't get me wrong he is the ultimate Badass Evil Guy ever. But I made Sesshomaru Sauron for the specific reason that he lost his arm and it worked.

Sephiroth ended up being a sort of comic relief but still having the evil side when it came to killing/ burning Aerith.

I checked and double checked parts but there were a few bumps in the line. I forgot Shelob's part ( whom Mukuro from Yu Yu Hakusho plays as). And as a sudden surprise, I forgot about the dead king. I was glad to finally give Sora a part in the story, despite the fact that he save Twilight Town.

As we know, Ben, Jimmy and later Steven play a bit of the role in the story too. From giving me ideas, to rampaging, heck even to making sure I don't die because of Yoko and Sephiroth's wraith, they've been comic relief too.

Wait this is a humor story. D-d-duh!

I really wanted to have l33t make more of a presence in the story- because I am a big fan of Megatokyo. But Chapter Nine had some l33t, so everyone's happy. Yeah Chapter Nine ended up being all Ben's idea. Chapter Twenty Nine was Jimmy's. And Chapter Twenty Five was Steven's.

I also was trying to make this a story for anime fans of ALL types to read. The bishounen lovers, the bishojo lovers, the pyro maniacs, the mech lovers- even though I am not big on mechs.

In the beginning, I wasn't sure how Japanese I wanted to make the story. Did I want to use Japanese suffixes like -san and -sama? Or did I want to keep the story line to the norm? I had riceballs in the story because everyone like Riceballs...even me.

The appearances of Sadako Yamamura from Ringu were because I thought she would have made a horror aspect in the story. Come on, if you called a friends house and got a dead girl's HQ, what would you do?...Well now you know, thanks to my fanfiction.

' _Three. Long. Years.'_

In the past three years we have scene a lot happen in our tiny planet. We've scene things change for better or for worse. We've scene things that frighten us, things that make us burst out laughing, things that make us cry.

As I grew up I realized I wasn't writing this for myself anymore. I was writing this for you guys. I didn't realize that I was making such an impression on everyone. I am very happy with the way things turned out. And as I close tonight I am reminded of why I became a fanfiction writer five years ago.

Because the Sailor Moon fanfictions I found were inadequate.

I am dead serious. And now here I am at 17, a marginally successful authoress.

Can life get any better? I think so.

Ok thank you's.

Ben, Jimmy, Steven thanks for putting up with my insane ideas. Especially during lunch when I'd be pestering you to read something even though your busy eating.

Ben, yeah your ideas were awesome. I'll buy you a jelly doughnut sooner or later when I have money.

Jimmy, your probably never going to read this because your off doing your own thing but thanks for taking stuff from other stories and cartoons to give me ideas.

Steven, you came into the story late but none the less your apart of the Shingetsu family now. Just remember the keys under the mat and lights out is...never. Thanks for putting up with me. and just remember, D00d it's Blue!

Mark Niisan, Obasan, put on the kettle I can finally take a break from the computer.

Evil Overlord Sensei, we miss you and wish you didn't have to leave us but I hope your in a better place! Viva Le Thespians!

Reviewers, I can't name you all because fanfiction probably will delete the story for it. I love you guys so much! Thanks for reading and taking the time to review.

'_Three. Long. Years.'_


End file.
